oh my I hope my post hasn't made you anxious b/c really the intent was to stress the trusting and letting go part of this whole DE journey.
In answer to your questions. We were not concerned at all with having a proven donor. In fact I actually preferred one who had not cycled before since I believe that cycling too much for any woman takes tremendous energy and too many cycles, in my opinionm, can impact ones health.
So we were looking for someone very healthy and our donor was certainly that. She cycled 10 km to and from her job each day, she practised yoga, she ate only organic food and lived a very health centered life. So that was really important to us...and keeping her healthy as well. Part of our expenses to her were for her to be managed by a naturopath...I wanted her to stay balanced throughout the process...partly of course to ensure we had the best cycle but as a mom of a DD almost her age...I wanted to ensure her health wasn't compromised.
You asked if I was worried about her being managed and prepared for the cycle. Our clinic is extremely small and they are also amazingly compassionate and efficient. They insist that the donor's health is screened thouroughly and also is seen by a fertility psychologist...as were we....so we had total confidence in the whole process being managed expertly by our clinic. Our donor was treated well and her health was of upmost concern to our Dr.
I was with her when she had the eggs retrieved and since she had so many and so much fluid there was a lot of pain involved...her blood pressure crashed and she basically passed out at the end of the retrieval. I watched my Dr. and his two nurses quietly and quickly manage the situation. Our donor ended up in the hosptial for the weekend due to the pain and she almost contracted OHSS.
So watching this all transpire made me feel very blessed that we chose our clinic and I realize that these women who offer to share a piece of themselves are really angels on earth. When you get to know your donor as a 'person' their SAT,'s or IQ aren't quite as important any longer...not that I'm diminishing everyone's wish list for our donors but you know there is so much more going on in this process....I almost felt at times that there was magic in how we came to know our donor and she us. When I look at my little guy that magic miracle is ever present....there is way more going on here than biology and genetics...in my opinion.
So trust and let go is what I would recommend and for those seeking the perfect donor....also believe that she will find you and all shall be well.
Blessings from Hope