I used donor embryos and did not see pics (success)
July 9 2011, 12:03 AM
and somehow, they look like me. My little guy especially. Baby girl's nose is wee and perfect, which mine never was though. I am thankful for that, I must say. When I used to sperm shop, a small nose was critical to me. I think if I'd seen donor pics, I would not see the similarities between my kids and me like I do. It's not that I wouldn't have liked to have seen them but it is what it is so I look on the positive.
Yep, I cycled in the Czech Republic, where all donors are anon by law
July 9 2011, 7:12 AM
We got VERY little information about our donors. But what a pp says is true. The clinics do try to match you up according to realistic looks and children adopt their parents' mannerisms and facial expressions, so your child WILL take after you in some ways.
OK, my kids from my Czech cycle look nothing like me. But my older sister's genetic daughter looks nothing like her, either. There are just no guarantees either way. The one thing I'm pretty confident of is that you will love your baby. Maggie (in VA)
Realistically your genetic child could look like ( OE child ment)
July 9 2011, 9:49 AM
A relative too. Everyone in my family is a bit different so since were no tell I figured people will say she/ he looks like someone... Everyone says one of mine (OE) looks just like my mom and others say she looks like daddy.... I think people search to find which relative they look like. I've seen kids that don't look at all like their parents too.... Remember your body will be turning the genes on and off so you will be apart of different traits. I don't know much about it but it's pretty cool! Xo good luck!
I think people put so much into "looks" and worry so much that a child will not resemble other family members. But, realistically, genetics can be a real crapshoot! I know people who have children who are the spitting image of one or the other parent (or both) and I know families where no one really looks like anyone at all!
One of my favorite Christmas cards every year is a lovely infertility friend of mine- she and her dh adopted one child and then three years later, another child--this family could not look more alike and their oldest takes great delight in the comments!!
My ds does not look like me but looks a lot like dh. BUT, he has a lot of my mannerisms and his personality can be a lot like mine! Sometimes, I get comments that he is so much like me!
Your child will look like him or herself.
And as an fyi, I am always a little bit glad that I never saw a picture of our wonderful donor. I have a picture in my mind. I never searched for anyone else in my child's face.
I was very lucky and was able to conceive one genetic child, then moved on to DE after secondary infertility and a miscarriage. So, I guess I have the perspective of both. When I was pregnant with the twins I did have some fears about what they would look like. But even when my DD was born, I was like, "Who is this child?" She didn't look a thing like I expected! We used an anon donor but had childhood and adult photos of her. Let me just say that genetics are really a crapshoot. One twin looks most like my BIL's son, who is ADOPTED! They look like full brothers...everything from their coloring to their little duck-shaped feet to their sneaky grins. But strangely, the adopted child looks like his adoptive father, so we always say that twin B looks like his uncle. Twin A I think is going to look like the donor, but in a weird way he resembles me even though his coloring is different. Neither twin looks a think like my DH except for eye color (but the shades are totally different). The thing that is weird for me is not knowing past generations on the donor's side. Do the boys look like a great grandfather or second cousin? Who are those people and what are they all about?
But having a genetic DD who now looks exactly like me (which is kinda weird for me too!) I have to tell you that no matter where the DNA comes from, children are 100% THEMSELVES. We can't control or predict a thing, esp about their looks. Whether it's our egg or not, they are not us. Our job is to get to know who they are and love and respect and guide them to become their best selves. That's why we, not the donors, are their mothers.