So, a big part of the reason that we wanted to do anonymous donor was so that we could avoid the absolute insanity of trying to somehow choose another set of genes to replace mine in our family...based on a handful of photos and a few pages of information. Buuut...as you know, we are exploring the non-anonymous avenue so we can see if we can find someone that any future child could contact if he/she wanted to. So, we entered the realm of donor searching, and I can say that it will make me crazy. The minute I see someone I love, I want to book her...without regard for her location, my husband's point of view, cost, whatever. Of course, I don't book her because we are not actually at the point of agreeing that this is our route, so I just keep going back and seeing if someone else has taken her....usually they have. Which must mean that people move fast and really swoop in on the good ones. But, then it makes me feel like if a donor has been available for a while and hasn't been picked, what's wrong with me that I like her but no one else does? So they're either too good to be true/too good to last, or they must have something wrong that I can't see.
Does this happen to anyone else? It almost feels like too much, you know? I just want someone else to go pick out an awesome donor that would meet our children and be done with it!
I think you're feeling overwhelmed right now and need to take a break from the donor search to think about what you really want. It is SO important that you and your husband agree before you go the route, choose the donor, and pay the money. You will need your husband (or a support person) a lot, because the journey is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish.
In my case (like yours) the really good donors (ie, the ones I really liked) got scooped up almost immediately. So I realized I needed to act quickly. I totally stopped looking at the donors until I was prepaired to book the trip (I cycled overseas), and then the day I started looking, I found the right one and grabbed her right away. (In a way it made it easier, because I realized I couldn't equivocate and compare and do all the OCD things that are in my nature...and once the decision was made, I felt a great sense of relief!)
This message has been edited by Maya3 on Aug 27, 2011 7:56 PM
I think that's going to have to be our strategy, as well. I am almost done with my prep cycle and so could be ready to go soon, so I think it's safe to look, but there can't be the lollygagging I was doing!