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hi from a newbie and a question! (oe child, mc ment.)

April 27 2012 at 11:27 AM
Zoya  (Login Zoya2)

I've been lurking for a bit, and I thought it would be good to create an account and introduce myself.

I'm 41, and my husband and I have one OE child, age 7. For some time we thought that we were good with one, and when I was 40, we decided to try for a second. I got pregnant fairly quickly and discovered at my first prenatal visit that I had miscarried. I got pregnant 3 more times and miscarried 3 more times.

After my second mc last spring, I decided that I should think about how far I was willing to go in the quest to have another baby. Even though I thought I would never opt for DE, I realized that I needed to seriously consider it and decide whether I could get comfortable with it.

While I went through a round of IVF this past fall (mc # 3) and experienced another spontaneous pregnancy this winter (mc # 4), I read posts on this board and the pink board. After the monitoring visit in which mc # 4 was discovered, I said, "That's it! We're moving on to DE." DH has been very much on board.

I contacted an out-of-state clinic that I'd had my eye on for a while, and we moved forward pretty quickly. I don't have a calendar in place yet, but our donor has completed her testing and I've completed mine. I think we are looking at a June transfer (assuming we make it to transfer - I know DE isn't a silver bullet!)

Anyway, I wanted to thank all of you who post about your experiences. I've gone through so many different emotions, and reading what you've written about the process has helped me come full circle. I'm so grateful that DE is an option for us, and I feel very positive about it.

Now for my question: have any of you experienced a lot of stress while going through a DE cycle? I'm not even talking about stress associated with cycling. I'm thinking of job stress and life stress. I want to move forward with DE ASAP. If the transfer happens in June, it will be during a high stress time at work. I'm worried about how the stress will affect me and of course the embie I'm hoping will stick. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

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(no login)

Yes, I am going through a cycle and a lot of stress

April 27 2012, 12:04 PM 

It has not been easy. I am giving myself time to rest every night and watch tv or read. That's how I am dealing. I wish I could tell you how it ends up however I am still in the cycle.

One of my close friends went through a lot of stress during her DE cycle and she is pg.

Everyone has different opinions on this.

Will you be able to have any downtime?
How well do you handle stress normally?

So sorry for all of your losses too. That's a lot.

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(no login)

Stress and DE

April 27 2012, 1:07 PM 

Hi, I read stress plays more of a part when your trying to conceive naturally on your own. With a donor egg they place the blast in you and you have to have it to implant. Just put things in perspective that you are stressing about is it really a life or death situation. Most likely not, than just focus on your job and do the best you can. The big picture is having this baby, not the nonsense that your are stressing about. Wishing you all the best. I just had a transfer on Tues and I am in 2 week wait.

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Maggie in VA
(Login maggie1961)

Think this is right . . .

April 27 2012, 2:12 PM 

Someone posted a news article not that long ago concluding that stress does not actually play that big a role in the success of a pregnancy. Now, conceiving naturally, that may be different. But, think about it, if stress really had much impact on a pregnancy, we'd barely need abortion clinics: who's under more stress than a woman with an unwanted pregnancy? So, I wouldn't let it deter you from ttc, BUT, and this is a big BUT, the first trimester of pregnancy, especially with the hormone support, you are likely not to feel very good, so if you can reduce the stress of your job, that would be a good thing. Take care, Maggie (in VA)

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Jen in TN
(Login jentenn)

Here's the news item

April 27 2012, 9:52 PM 

I remember that too, Maggie, and looked up the news item:http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/25/stop-worrying-stress-doesnt-hurt-chances-of-success-with-ivf/

When it first came out, I remember thinking that the people who reported low levels of stress during IVF were in deep, deep denial!

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(Login emilyr99)

Hello and welcome (OE child, mc ment)

April 28 2012, 10:32 PM 

Hi Zoya,

Nice to have you on the board. I'm faily new too and new to the DE process. Sadly, this means I don't have any real advice for you as I haven't cycled yet and am a long way off this, but I just wanted to say welcome and that there are many of us like you on the board.

I have a miracle DD who is 3.5 and have had 3 m/c so we are now onto DE too. It works a bit differently here in NZ, but wanted you to know that you're not alone.

One of the areas I have had a lot of stress over is the fact that I have one OE child and am worried about the possibility of feeling differently about a DE child. The women here have really helped me in so many ways and have inspired me beyond belief. I hope that you stay and keep us posted on your journey!

TTC for 3.5 yrs from age 27
4 rounds on clomifene
2 MC
About to start IVF when...
DD OE 3.5yrs old now
TTC 2.5 yrs for #2
2 rounds of clomifene
1 MC
Dx with DOR Jan 2012
Using DE from sister possibly

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