It's been a while since I donated (my last one was in 2007) but I donated 6 different times. I did mostly open donations, although none were to family members. I also donated in the states, so things would be a bit different in that respect, too. However, I would be happy to answer any questions she has or share my feelings with her. For me, donating was one of the most important and positive things I've ever done. Feel free to give her my email missmonicamarie at yahoo.com.
I'll pass on your email. Would it be ok to pass onto my sister also? I'm concerned that she is seeing it all so casually. She says that to her it's like donating a kidney, but kidneys don't come to life as such. Thanks a bunch.
Feel free to pass it on to your sister, also. Yes, viewing the donation that casually would concern me, too. Ideally, a donor should understand that this is a gift of a cell - not a child and not an organ. She should not feel like she is donating "her" child, but she should also understand that she is participating in an event that will, hopefully, create a life. I think someone who views this the same way as they would an organ or blood might not be prepared for some intense and possibly confusing emotions once the baby actually arrives. I also think this could be potentially much more problematic in a known/family situation than in an anonymous donation.
With my donations, don't feel anything remotely maternal about the resulting children. However, I do feel a sense of responsibility toward the families. With the various donations, different levels of contact were stipulated ranging from keeping address/phone number updated in the event of a medical emergency to contractually agreeing to meet/speak with the child when she or he is 18 if the child desires that. I feel that, even though these are not my children, I made a decision to help their parents and I am ethically bound to continue to uphold the agreement I made with their parents long after the donation. This is not the same as organ donation. I think about the families from time to time, and I wonder if the children will have questions for me when they are old enough to understand the story of their conception. For me, thinking about my donations provides me with a sense of peace, happiness and satisfaction knowing that I helped to make someone's life more full. However, someone who believes they will just "forget" the donation or not experience any emotion around it may really struggle with that decision down the line.
This message has been edited by MonicaMarie on May 16, 2012 10:01 AM