I've been hesitant to post, because after so many miscarriages, it's hard to imagine that this DE cycle may have worked. It's like I'm trying to protect myself by not acknowledging that I'm pregnant.
I'm 6 weeks 6 days today, and yesterday I saw the heartbeat. The embryo measured right on, and the heartbeat looked great. And I'm having a hard time getting food down, so that's probably good too.
I have my first prenatal visit in 2 weeks. Every time I think about the visit, I break out in a cold sweat, as I have yet to leave a first prenatal visit with this practice with good news. I've had a lot of first prenatal visits with them in the past year and a half, and every visit I've had so far they've discovered that the heartbeat had stopped.
Maybe I'll finally relax if my first prenatal visit goes well. I have a question for the BTDT folks, particularly those who have succeeded after OE or DE failed cycles or miscarriages: when did you finally relax and enjoy your pregnancy?
I completely understand your hesitancy, but many, many congratulations on your success so far!! As you know, it's a very good sign to see a heartbeat at this stage, so I'm hoping your first prenatal visit will go beautifully. Like you, the thought of going for those early ultrasounds made me completely crazy - it's so difficult to get over that fear once you've experienced a loss! For now, though, celebrate the fact that you're pregnant and try to find some peace in that.
I have to admit that even now, at 20 weeks, I'm still not completely relaxed. However - and this is a big however - I've had a lot of complications (multiple SCHs, vanishing twin), which doesn't help. And every time I'd hear of someone having a m/c, whether it was 6 weeks, 8 weeks, or 17 weeks, I'd panic about the same thing happening to me. I did promise myself that after our big anatomy scan, I'd try to relax and enjoy. That was only yesterday, so I'm having varying levels of success so far.
Early on, one thing I did to help was to say daily affirmations (I posted mine a while back if you're interested), both for my own body and for the baby. Doing yoga or some sort of meditation is good, too. At the end of the first tri, renting a fetal doppler saved my sanity (this isn't for everyone, but it's been a complete and total lifesaver for me). And now, feeling him moving around is daily reassurance that everything is ok..
GL to you, Zoya. I'm so happy to hear your news this morning and I look forward to hearing your updates!
Glad to hear things are going well and you got to see the little heartbeat. I hope you can relax now.
Well they say the first and last trimesters are usually the most stressful times for pregnant women. I would say that is probably true. I bet for women that have had fertility treatments they would be more likely to be stressed the whole pregnancy. I got better as time went on. Much better after the twenty week ultrasound and once I could feel the baby kick.
Just do your best to rest and take good care of yourself.
The worry in early pregnancy on this IF journey is completely normal. Early on I kept telling myself I'd relax after the six week us, then the 8 week us, then the 10 week OB visit etc...it goes onand on. I've just starting to relax and enjoy since all was well with the anatomy scan at 18 1/2 weeks. So happy for you and wishing you a happy and healthy 33+ weeks!
I just had our anatomy scan this morning (pg ment)
July 26 2012, 12:17 PM
at 20 weeks and it was the first time we were able to relax a bit and enjoy, since all looked OK. I unnderstand your apprehension and will be keeping my fingers crossed for you for your visit in 2 weeks. All signs seem to be good so far - hang in there and congrats!
I was smiling ear to ear reading your post, but I can only imagine how hard it is to believe after your m/c's. And I think it is good to stay cautiously optimistic in the first trimester, regardless. Personally, I think you start to decompress in stages. Honestly, I was a nervous wreck between U/S's for the first 4-5 months. I didn't feel my twins till, hmmmm, 22-23 weeks?, probably b/c I had a placenta anterior. That didn't help matters at all.
I think this is the time for positive visualization, connecting with your embryo, sending him or her love and positive energy. Sing to him/her. Visualize him or her growing bigger and stronger in your womb. And I'm not a particular new-agey person, actually. I do believe in the mind's ability to affect your systems, though, especially your autoimmune system, but in any case, I think focusing on your child instead of your anxiety can only help.
yes it is hard to believe ins't it when you finally see that heart beat. I think that relaxing is a relative term and is totally dependent on your past experiences. For me...I didn't breathe easy unstil I was out of the 1st trimester with my last two pgcies that were the result of using DE's...and then I didn't relax...at all until those babies were placed in my arms...with the twins I didn't relax until we were home from the hospital...the second time that we were discharged.
And to tell you the truth...for me..getting pg, delivering my babies were just the beginning...I don't think a mom really relaxes at all...once that little soul is on the earth living and breathing...and their heart is beating..well do we ever really relax...I think raising children is all about learning to let go and trust and it starts long before the heart beat is even heart...or seen.
So try to breathe deeply, trusting that everything unfolds exactly how it is meant and for the benefit of teaching YOU as a soul...enjoy the journey..it's only the beginning of a wonderful path to walk.
It's really good to hear your encouraging words. I will stay as calm and mellow as possible, but truly, I think it's easier if I pretend there's nothing happening. Maggie, I like your suggestion of connecting with the embryo, but it's too hard for me at this stage. I stopped doing that after my first miscarriage, and it turned out to be a good thing, as I had more losses right after that. I was devastated after that first miscarriage, and although the next three were tough, they would have been much worse if I hadn't been a little detached out of self-protection.
I'll take your advice to stay positive, but I think the connecting will be easier after / if we make it out of the first trimester.
Hope2009, I hear what you're saying about never being able to truly relax because you're always watching out for this little being who is completely dependent on you.
Leigh and smrc, congratulations on your pregnancies! I hope the rest of your pregnancies are happy and healthy.