I'm looking around at the option of donor embryos as I need a double donation. I've looked at Miracles Waiting and a clinic in Florida. The Florida clinic won't accept me as I don't meet their BMI requirement and Miracles Waiting don't have any African American embryos available.
Any other suggestions as to where I could look? I don't want to do embryo 'adoption'. Are there any forums where people who have completed their IVF cycles post re embryo donation? I'm feeling a bit lost, suggestions would be appreciated.
Check with some clinics and ask if they have a donor embryo pool. A lot of clinics Have a pool of embryos that thier patients end up not useing because they have completed thier families. Some have a wait list but sometimes they are only a few months long. it will take that long do your pre-testing and consult. Start with clinics locally and go out from there. I ended up at Cooper in NJ. I don't know how far away you are but they are used to working with out of town patients. I looked into Miracles Waiting but at my age I wasn't a "pretty candidate" and didn't get much response.A lot of States have different laws concerning embryo adoption from just requireing a notorized consent form signed to a full blown adoption. Check with a clinic in that state to verify first as alot of time and cost can go into the later.The other issue to consider is do how much contact you want with the donateing parents. I was always afraid of them someday showing up on my door step and introducing them selves to my child so I was never comfortable with an open adoption.A private adoption also involves a lot more expenses. The cost of legal contracts, shipping of the embryos and FDA testing of the donors.If you adopt from a clinic all identities stay anonyomous and you avoid alot of the administrative costs.
Have you paid the fee to post on Miracles Waiting? Not all donors post. There might be someone who is waiting to read your recipient profile. Also, "embryo adoption" is a mis-used term. Embryos can only be donated - not sold or adopted. Watch out for the fees that are able to be charged and recovered though. I was very close to getting some embryos, but once the agency fee, attorney fees, reimbursement for storage, etc. was added up, it was almost as much as an IVF cycle. I've heard that it's hard to get on a list for embryos if you are not already a patient at a clinic, but it wouldn't hurt to call around to some of the bigger clinics.
I had called all over the country and gotten on about 6 different waiting lists, none of which required up-front charges.
All told, including travel for a mock cycle, all meds, travel for transfer, and local monitoring, it was about $8000. I got on the waiting list in April, got to the top in August, mock cycled in October and did transfer early February. I have two children from the cycle. Hope this helps.
Is cost the primary consideration in choosing dembie?
August 15 2012, 12:36 PM
I had to use DE+DS, so I understand how that makes dembie look attractive, but I was older and needed to move along, so hanging out on waiting lists for a long time, plus the less attractive success rates that go along with FETs made me decide to do a fresh cycle overseas.
South Africa would be an option, too, but I think it's substantially more than other overseas destinations these days.
And, of course, you can try lower cost U.S. clinics Shady Grove and CNY. I don't know how many African American donors CNY has being in Finger Lakes region of NY, but SG is next door to Washington, DC, and if they don't, it's not b/c they can't get them.
Some are Proven once...but have horrible track records
August 15 2012, 2:16 PM
As an AA looking for a donor with CNY at one time, they have a few that have "positive pregnancies," but thetrack records of these donors for teh most part are from not so good to horrible. When it came time to choose, I did not pick any of the so-called proven donors for this reason. You also can't tell from their bank whether a positive pregnancy resulted in an on-going pregnancy. I know of at least one AA person that did a cycle and her pregncnay is listed as a positive although she m/c'd shortly thereafter.
They do however have a nice selection of AA donors compared to many other programs.
A couple of things. I can only speak on the AA donors. I don't really check the stats of other donors so other donors could be having more success. What I have found at CNY is that everyone keeps picking the SAME 4 black donors regardless of their poor track records. There are about four others who have been on there since last October and have never been picked for whatever reason. They have gotten in some new new donors however but they are not yet tested. Of the 5 that I see listed with prior cycles, one has had 5 cycles- 1 positive and 3 negatives and one no transfer. Another has had 1 positive cycle and three negative cycles. One has had 2 positive cycles and two negatives, one has had one positive and one has had one negative. So like I said...not great track records. On the other hand, of two newer donors that I have seen come up, one is the positive listed above and one which is no longer listed is a donor that I know there was a positive that became a m/c and a FET that was a negative. So..maybe one of the newer donors is the way to go. I'm baffled as to why they have kept the two ladies with 3 negative cycles.
BTW..I agree..proven to me means live birth unless there was some documented reason why the patient could not carry what was a normal baby to term.
YES, but sometimes miscarriage does not mean bad donor it can of course be the carrier. CNY does have a couple of AA donors that were splits and some brand new ones. About fifteen total AA donors out of a total of 150 donors so no problem getting donors at CNY..
I looked DILIGENTLY for black splits at CNY and from October until now I only saw one AA split up until a few months ago. Then I saw that they added another one for like a day or two and then she went back to being a single. I also count about 13 AA donors which is the most they have had since I have been looking but some are what I would call black Hispanics. This is indeed a LOT of AA donors for any clinic with an in-house program in my experience. The problem is getting a good proven AA donor. As for the split issue, I guess that no longer matters since they are doing cycles giving recipients 5-7 eggs.
Yes, I would say CNY has a wide range of skintones in the AA catagory. A couple were former splits which is great, and if I wanted to pick a AA donor I would pick a former split if available and was a good match. I feel the 5-7 eggs for $6,000 is best for someone only wanting one child..
Only two have had prior split cycles. One has had 3 negatives and one positive and the other has had two negatives and two positives...neither of whom I would personally pick for a split or any other type of cycle.
Thank you. Like most people, I wanted to take my best shot and made the best decision for me. Doesn't mean that CNY is not a good fit for others. I believe in being honest and truthful about clinics and what they can and cannot offer as I know how important posts like these were to me when making a decision. Many of us do not have the funds to do this more than once and I would hate for someone to get misinformation when it comes to making that decision.
My understanding is that SG's split cycle programs are a pretty affordable option (in part because they do 3-way splits). Most of the women here, I think, are using their split cycle programs. Take care, Maggie (in VA)
Ladies, thank you so much for replying and your kind ideas.
Mary - I had not known of PVED - thank you will look at them.
RaineyCat - That is a good point you bring up about posting a wanted ad on Miracles Waiting. I will do that. I see too congratulations are in order!
Blessed Thistle - Congratulations on your babies. It is good to hear of success. Thank you also for the link.
Maggie - You raised things to consider I hadn't thought of. I am also excited to look at Barbados as an option.
Denise, Dee and Anon - Thanking you for your input re clinics for DE. It is good Dee to get a heads up from a lady who has looked for same.
I hope I can have success soon. This has been a long journey as it is for us all.
When couples know that they will need to use DS due to MF and the wife is an ethnicity that will be hard to match, they might swap it around and get an ED of the easier-to-match ethnicity and use DS to provide the harder-to-match genetics. If you're not averse to having a biracial child, you could use a European American donor and DS from an AA male. Just another thing to consider. Take care, Maggie (in VA)