Golf balls.........
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
Dumb-Struck......
I was standing at the checkout with my two-year-old son, and there was a heavyset gal in line a head of us. As the cashier scanned the lady's items, the bar-code reader gave off a continuous beeping sound. All of a sudden, my son said loudly, "Mommy, watch out! She's going to back up!"
That was the only time in my life I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Nuts About You......
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
Strip Mall......
My husband and I took our three kids out shoe shopping one day. We were going from store to store, and the kids were getting restless. At one crowded store, I was standing near a bench when my 3-year-old climbed up on it, grabbed hold of my elastic-waist shorts, and jumped off-pulling both my shorts and my underwear to the floor. I raced out of there, much to the delight of the appreciative onlookers.
Curl up and die.....
I once walked into a hair salon- with my husband and three kids in tow----and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob?"
Pad, please!.....
An An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me,and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
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