> Subject: Understanding Engineers

> Subject: Understanding Engineers
>
> Understanding Engineers #1 - Two engineering students were biking
> across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a
> great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
> yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on
> this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
> "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,
> "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>
> Understanding Engineers #2 - To the optimist, the glass is
> half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the
> engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
> Understanding Engineers #3 - A priest, a doctor, and an engineer
> were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
> engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting
> for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
> never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the
> greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George,
> What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't
> they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
> firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
> year, so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell
> silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will
> say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea.
> I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's
> anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they
> play at night?"
>
> Understanding Engineers #4 - What is the difference between
> mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build
> weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
>
> Understanding Engineers #5 - The graduate with a science degree
> asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree
> asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
> "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do
> you want fries with that?"
>
> Understanding Engineers #6 - Normal people believe that if it
> ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke,
> it doesn't have enough features yet.
>
> Understanding Engineers #7 - An engineer was crossing a road one
> day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
> turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog,
> and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
> kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you
> for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled
> at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
> kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one
> week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog
> out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
> asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess
> and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why
> won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
> don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's
> cool.