I thought I'd share our first impressions of St. Martin where we are currently vacationing It's a pretty island that is a beautiful mix of small mountains and long, nice sandy beaches. That's an unusual combination. Most places have one or the other. For example, St. John's has wonderful and dramatic mountain views while nothing but short, rocky beaches whereas Turks & Caicos and Grand Cayman have long, perfectly sandy beaches but is quite flat. This place has both.

Yesterday we got up late after arriving in early evening on Saturday and then staying up late following the Aggie game. It's one hour later here than Texas time so for us the game did not end until 1:00 am. We decided to take the rental car a short trip North to the French side of the island (we are on the Dutch side) to the town of Margot and that leads to some thoughts about driving in this place.

The driving is American style in the sense that you drive on the right side of the road and the steering wheels are all on the left just like you are used to. That made it much easier than other places we've been with the last side driving and right side steering wheels. But that's where the ease ended.

The streets are horribly marked. Directional signs are few and far between. Many streets are very narrow, allowing only one car. Many, but not all, of those one car are (understandably) one-way. Which gets back to the poorly marked thing, because while they may be one-way the way is often poorly marked and even when marked is often disregarded. This can create quite stimulating adventures in driving and what we dubbed "Caribbean standoffs."

While the one-way street rules may be subject to lax enforcement, the speed limits are strictly enforced, but not by police. They are enforced with what must be the most speed bumps ever placed withing a small, 37 square mile area. Speed bumps, the big ones that really make you slow down, are EVERYWHERE. They are on the little back roads, and almost equally prevalent on the main roads (any road that allows 2-way traffic is a "main road" as no road is bigger than that.

Last night when we went into Phililpsburg (than main town on the Dutch side) we went through the island's one and only stop light. For all other intersections where one may change directions there is either no monitoring and control, or they use the ever adventuresome traffic circle.

In any event by late morning we drove to the French side and visited the quaint village of Margot. The French side is known for its many spectacular restraunts, but it being Sunday many were closed for lunch. We climbed a respectable hill to Fort Louis and old fort the French built to protect the port from numerous pirate raids.

It apparently worked and the one attack on the fort failed miserably. 200 British privateers attacked the Fort defended by only 37 French soldiers. The attacking force regretted this decision. Most were captured, a good many were killed (to include their Captain) and only a few made it back to their landing boats to escape. Thus, this Fort is significant if only for its role in one of the few French military victories in history.

When you visit the Fort's its easy to see how it could be defended by few against many. The attacking force would have to come up a very steep hill heavily covered in scrub and cactus, all time carrying ladders to scale the 15-20 foot walls of the Fort. That would really suck with people (even French people) shooting at you.

After the Fort we went back to the town and ate lunch at a nice open air French cafe. The wine was very good along with the food. We returned to the room and snorkeled off our beach. We'd been told it was good snorkeling with reef, but I found only boring, sandy bottom.

We next resolved to go the "Runway Bar" for one of the more unusually entertaining of island features. George, at "The Watering Hole" would love this airport. The runway comes up right to the beach. Going the other direction it runs out of space due to mountains. Thus, large planes coming in for landings come in very low over the beach, often passing less than 100 feet above those on the beach. You may have seen pictures like this one below the internet and thought they were photoshopped, they aren't.



Naturally a bar is located just to the side and it has speakers broadcasting the airport landings so you can know when the next one is coming. It was a good two mile walk down the beach to this place, but it was well worth it.

Standing at the top of the beach as a large commercial jet come flying directly out of the setting sun so close over your head is a thrill. I did it, and I assure you of this.

Then there are the idiots who cross the narrow street to stand at the fence to the airport as a plane takes off. Because the planes must take off quick to clear the mountains at the opposite end they start right at the end of the runway with their ass end facing the beach. People stand right behind the planes, once again maybe 100 feet away, at the fence to the airport. When the planes fully gun their engines for takeoff they are hit by and incredible jet blast that forces them to cling to the fence to prevent being blown across the road. Most unfortunate was a small group of people on the beach directly behind them who settled down there between flights. They got sand blasted hard, and it obviously hurt.

We forgot to bring the camera on that trip, but we plan to return and I'll hopefully have pictures to post when we get back.

After that, it was into Phillipsburg for dinner at a place called "The Greenhouse." I nice place with a large menu. I had the filet mignon and it was very good. My wife and daughter had various fish, and liked it too. My daughter said the shrimp and lobster thermerdour pasta was one of the best meals she has ever had. Service, however, was very slow.

Getting to the place took nearly an hour. As we came into Phillipsburg we took a wrong turn. We got stuck on a very narrow one way street behind a damn garbage truck that naturally frequently stopped to pick up. There were no turnoffs from this street for nearly a mile, which we took but by then we were lost and wound around numerous more one-way streets before finally getting our berings.

Well that's our story of our first day.

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ

New Years Eve on the island. We got up late, and I really am running out of excuses for that. The first order of business was to walk the strip of restaurants and bars along the main road for Simpson Beach. We had decided to spend New Years Eve in walking distance of the condo and needed to recon the options.

We also stopped in at the "Dive Safari" scuba shop and scheduled a two tank dive for Wednesday morning and a night dive for Thursday. Brenda had to be talked into both. She's not a "morning person." In fact there are numbers on clocks that are theoretical for her. She knows they are there, but she has never actually seen them used. She also needed some persuading for the night dive because while Bethany and I have done one, she has not. It was the picture opportunities that fianlly put her over.

We also stopped at a Gilato place because Brenda and Beth "needed" continue their "research" for a book on the best Gilato places in the world. For more on that very serious quest check out their blog at http://theicecreamlovers.wordpress.com/

For the afternoon we went snorkeling off our beach just down from out condo. Following directions from the owner we put in at the wreck of an old fishing boat and paddled around there. It was okay, but nothing spectacular. We saw schools of billions of minnows so thick they looked like clouds in the water, a bunch of boring bigger fish up to about 2 feet long, lots of the black spiny sea urchins that you want to avoid contacting, and I saw a crab that was several inches across.

We then read and relaxed to prepared for the evening ahead. We headed out about 7 pm.

The first stop led to a funny incident with Bethany's tendency to order unusual drinks. We stopped in for a happy hour at bar called "Queens Harbor" that was actually a boat sitting the water of the inner harbor. Bethany ordered a "Pain Killer" and the bar maid got this paniced, confused look and skittered into the kitchen where we could see her talking to a guy. We figured she was asking him if he knew how to make a Pain Killer. However, she shortly returned and handed Bethany some aspirin.

This was good for some laughs. We began coming up with other odd drinks with suggestive names wondering what the bartender would have brought had she ordered say a Fuzzy Navel or a Buttery Nipple. Others at the bar joined in this game and things went downhill fast.

After a few drinks there we went to a nice restaurant Where Brenda and I split a nearly four pound Caribbean lobster tail. More drinks were had.

After dinner we went back to Queens Harbor because they were supposed to have karioke and we wanted to make Beth sing. For those that don't know, Beth is getting her doctorate in "vocal music" (which is singing) at IU which actually boasts the #1 school of vocal music in the nation. I'm just saying she has a helluva voice and is fun at karioke nights. But alas, the karioke was not set up, and after a few more drinks we moved on.

We went to a place callsed "Jimbos" another nice restaurant that features a swim up bar. A live band was playing 60s and 70s rock and roll and they were very good with a guitar player who really believed he was Jimmy Hendrix and was very good. More drinks were had and we counted down to Midnight there.

One thing about Beth, if music is playing she can't help but to get up and dance. It's a compulsion. So she got up and danced completely uncaring that no one else was or that there really was not a dance floor. Brenda joined her, and later I did. The band loved it.

After counting down and singing Auld Lang Syne Beth declared herself drunk enough to just start singing, so she did (did I mention that Beth is not exactly shy?). This promptly got the attention of the band (as they were folding up) particularly that guitar player. He came over and insisted that she sing and sing again for him, so she did. She sang "The Sound of Music" and "My Favorite Things" cause the guy loved Julie Andrews, she did "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom of the Opera, and a good deal more as the guy just could not get enough. He ended up asking for her contact information insisting he wanted to get together and combine his guitar with her voice. They swapped email addresses.

By then it was about 1 a.m and we resolved to head back to the condo. We didn't make it.

As we headed up past the Queens Harbor place, they finally had the karioke going after all. With the multiple Mojitos (yes, that's one of the weird drinks she likes) as inspiration, Beth promptly skipped into the place. From earlier the same bar maid that gave Beth the aspirin remembered that we said she could sing. The microphone was promptly taken from a drunk in the corner and given to her.

Well, let's just say she was once again a hit. She did lots of songs from "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", to "Total Eclipse of the Heart", to Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" to "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" to, well a lot more. The entire place was offering to buy her drinks to keep her singing but Beth suddenly turned atypically boring fearing how much she'd already had and just asked for water. Once again multiple people wanted her contact info and she regretted not bringing her cards.

It was 02:30 before we finally dragged our ass into the condo and went to bed. That's way past my usual bedtime.

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ

Well just another update from paradise. On New Years Day we slept in very late after the above posted events. When we got up we oddly enough still did not feel like doing much of anything. So we lazed around the condo, read and took naps. Late in the day we did manage to walk down to the edge of the airport again, with the camera this time to get pictures of the jets taking off and landing practically on the beach.

From there we took the short walk into Maho for dinner. For those who don't know, St. Martin is an exceptional place that emphasizes fine, gourmet dining more than most any. Authentic French and Italian restaurants with all the gourmet dining experiences are all over the place. The absolute best ones in the Grand Case area and require reservations months in advance.

We did not go to those, but there are plenty of others on the island where exceptional eating is available without reservations, with great service from a waiter with a ferin French or Italian accent. If you want exceptional dining without going all the way to Europe, this is the place to come.

In the last two evenings we've been to two very good French retaurants (and will probably go Italian tongight). Their names are generally not pronounceable by Texans with spelling even more impossible. Fortunately, my French speaking daughter is here and provides assistance in this area for this post. They are called Le Moulin Fou and Le Montmartre and they are both located in the Maho Bay/Mullet Bay areas on far West side of the island.

Some thoughts on this fancified French dining. First, the smooth French waiters are always putting the moves on my wife and daughter. At both locations they actually asked which one was my wife. Needless to say, Brenda enjoyed the Hell out of this, enjoyed it too much in my view.

They are really in to something called "presentation." It took me a while, but I figured out that this means "how the food looks." Basically, this means that they work really, really hard to make the food look nice and pretty on your plate. This, frankly, seems wasteful to me, but once again the two women loved it. They kept oohing and aaahing and saying "look at the presentation, it makes me not want to eat it." I made it clear that I regarded my food as for eatin and not looking at. When they made comments about my "goshe (sp?) (which is apparently French for "bad bull") approach I invoked natural selection and described their view point as "maladaptive" as I dug into my "presentation."

Another thing, you are apparently expected to experience your dining experience. By this I mean you are supposed to take a long time with your eatin. Allow at least a minimum of two hours from when you sit down to when you actually leave (and likely more) if you go to one of these places. I'll admit that experience can be worth it, even with the $50 per bottle limit on wine that my wife imposed (though being the "goshe" fellow I am I had beer). Get something as an appetizer, what you want for the main course, and order the desert (though I ordered beer for desert).

Speaking of desert, from the women's perspective, the whole thing seems to be mere preliminary for the desert. At the first place we went to they tried to order the Creme Brulee for desert and were actually told by the waiter not to get it there but to go to the Le Montmartre for that (which explains why we were there the second night).

In any event, the food is exceptional, and even this goshe guy enjoyed it.

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ

Well it's our final day on the island as our plane leaves tonight and I thought I'd wrap up some final thoughts about this place. Pictures will follow perhaps as early as late tomorrow.

Thursday and Friday were our get in the rental car and see the island days. On Thursday we explored the French side, having only seen Margot and Ft. Louis as described above just across the border.

We first went to Grand Case, the supposed home of the best restaurants on the island, including some that supposedly have waiting lists that are months long. Based on such hype we expected to see a very interesting and nice village. What we found instead was (from what we could see) a third world dump. Grand Case was dirty, gross, impossible to move around in, dangerous feeling and just otherwise sucked. After eating a quick burger for lunch there we got out as fast as we could and were very disappointed.

From there we moved up to the famous Orient Beach. I would not describe this area as dumpy, as it was filled with nice resorts and condos. The beach itself looked very nice with wide, white sands, beautiful blue water, and islands just off it that made it quite pretty. Perhaps too pretty, as it was crowded as Hell and wall to wall people. Perhaps it is nice in the off season, but for our visit it compared poorly to the very nice and practically deserted Simpson Bay Beach on the Dutch side where we are staying.

After this we had to get back to prepare for our night dive, which was just gorgeous. It was my wife's first night dive and she was somewhat nervous about it. But once in the water and seeing the stuff we were seeing she really enjoyed it.

The night dive was at a wreck called "The Gregory", a barge deliberately sunk for divers. It was in good shape, with lots of wholes to look into the center of the ship.

On this dive we saw a good size squid (better than a foot long), shrimp (a whole school of them swam right through me), a great big crab, lobsters, and lots of great big (better than 6 feet long) manta rays sleeping on the bottom or the top of the wreck. We hope we got some good pictures but night dive pictures are always tricky, though if they come out good they can be spectacular. I don't think we will have trouble getting Brenda on the next night dive.

On Friday we drove into the Philipsburg, the main city on the Dutch side. It certainly contrasted favorably with Grand Case. A long boardwalk along the beach makes getting around easy and fun. The boardwalk is lined with little clothing shops, restaurants and bar, adding to the fun. We bought some clothes. Three shirts for me, two more for my wife, a pair of shorts for me, and two tropical style dress suits for our daughter all came to barely over $100. I don't know this sort of thing myself, but I"m told that's a good deal.

We believe we stayed in the right area with the very pretty and almost deserted Simpson Bay Beach on the Dutch South side.

I commented previously on the driving here, and am compelled to do so again. It is in a word harrowing. The traffic is simply awful, at least this time of the year, and the people drive like nuts. You've never seen anything like it and it doesn't take much to produce gridlocked traffic jams on the narrow streets. Some such gridlocks are inevitable with regular events such as drawbridge raisings backing up traffic for miles. While it did not bother me as much, getting in the car was a stress of my wife every time.

Friday night (last night) was our final one and we decided to walk to a Mexican restaurant called "Tijuana Yacht Club." A band called "Jukebox Heroes" was to play there and Bethany had twice met a member of the band while running on the beach and he followed her like a puppy back to the condo. Thus, he had picked up the nickname "The Pet."

In any event, the band was good (as wss the food) and it was not long before Bethany was invited to sing, so she did. When the band finished its set for the evening at about 11:30 patrons were calling for more Bethany, so the band extended its gig and Bethany sang more songs with them till about 12:15. Her songs included "American Pie" and "Piano Man."

It was 1 a.m. before we managed to drag our butts back to the condo. Today we plan to laze around the condo, relax and pack for the trip home that will not return us to Indianapolis until after Midnight.

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ