you articulated so well how i feel- Terrie's right- we did deserve to be a priority and not some obligation that served to make them look good. So often my mom especially did things because it was the "right" thing to do or to avoid someone thinking she was less than the "ideal mom"
it's hard to admit that you don't love your parents- because it's the norm, the expectation- but love is a two way street Mary- parents who are loving are loved by their children,I know the guilt can be overwhelming- but you are not at fault- your feelings are your feelings and are genuine.
Hang in there and be gentle with yourself
Margaret