First of all, I am so sorry you had to go through all that when you were a child. Sometimes I think that mothers truly cross the line and it is the children that pay for it. I have choosen to raise my children differently than I was raised, so I have the choice to change things.
Have you ever read "A Child Called It", "The Lost Boy" and "A Man Named Dave", by David Pelzer? They are three separate books about a boy who endured a lot as a child, teen and as an adult. These books may be triggering for you, but I found it very inspiring. It's a true story.
I wish my best for you and please know that a lot of mothers choose to sweep things under the rug. Mine chooses her pervert son over me, but that's her choice and she has to take that to the grave with her. I won't.