Of course it's not OK, sweetie. I think what your friend was saying is that we have a choice of whether or not to spend our efforts worrying about things that we cannot change...after all, if we can't change it, even though it is NOT ok, spending our effort worrying about it will not make it any better, but will keep us focused on the bad and feeling miserable about it, rather than trying to focus on other things that are not as bad and might help us feel better, despite such wrong being done to us. It is true that many things that happen to us are not right and not fair, and this is one clear example of that because she is very wrong to do this to you.....but how it affects us is largely up to us (not completely, of course, cuz we have no control over other people, but we are in charge of ourselves and how we react and deal with things). I think it is important to acknowledge how things hurt us, and to grieve those hurts. But then it is also important to move above and past what happens TO us and find new options in life to move around those obstacles. Dawni, I am so sorry that she continues to cause problems, and that it affects so many of your relationship.....you do not deserve that at all. So how can you now focus on those relationships not affected (such as ones here) and also find new relationships that feel good to you. You deserve to find happiness hon...you really do.