I thought I was the only one who felt like you do, but unfotunately, there are many of us. We hate ourselves because we feel so helpless and are infuriated that no one can take the pain away. I know. Sometimes I fly into rages so bad that I think I'm going to burst into flame. I've had shrinks brand me as "the angriest person they've ever seen". They mock me, and I want them to have to live in my body and feel what I feel--they would be forced to understand the pain and anger. If some ass$%^& don't understand, they can go eat dirt. I hear you. I feel just like you do and I totally understand. I am one very pissed off chick.