Hi Alicia....I like the nickname you chose....and I want to welcome you to this message board. Sounds like you are really struggling with these feelings of wanting to hurt yourself. It's hard enough being 16 without having those extra thoughts and feelings to deal with. I'm wondering if you would care to share about your relationship with your mom....how did you treat her so horribly, and why? Maybe with some help, you can work through those guilt feelings that I think I'm picking up on. Please know that you are not alone. Feel free to write here anytime, ok? Don't give up....you're doing a good job reaching out.