I am usually a happy person. Then, out of nowhere, I get so angry. I yell at and belittle my supporting fiance. I don't know what else to do when I want to hurt the person who loves me the most. I want to break him...I suppose the same amount I have been broken. Sometimes I feel like the abuse will always affect me. I obviously don't want to make him feel pain, but I get defensive and only after the moment do I have any remorse. I want him to hate me sometimes, because I don't want to hurt him anymore. I want to rip the anger out of my chest, but I can't.