I am afraid of my anger. I am afraid that I am a time bomb ticking and almost ready to explode at any time. It scares me.
I so appreciated reading your venting. It was great. It felt safe. I want to be able to do that against my perps. For what they took from me. For the struggles I have had because of what they took from me. For the lost innocence and lost years. For the lost memories of anything good... For the shattered sel-esteem. For the struggles to cope and survive. Oh, I want to feel that rage and release it in a safe place. Sometimes I feel like I could beat my bed half to death with my fists and scream and cry but I still hold it inside..... I want to release the anger... I want to let it go. I want to acknowledge the hurting child inside who desperately wants to fight back but is unable to move..... She is frozen in fear.... I want her to strike back at the bast***s that hurt her so!!!
Thanks for showing me it will be safe to vent here when I am ready.