Hi,
I understand your anger against God, who in my mind too, is all knowing and all powerful. I struggeled with this same anger for years because of a 15 year failed marriage to an abuser. I prayed diligently for him to change. When i realized that he might hurt my two children, well... I left for good with no turning back. Yes. I am sad to say that I was willing to take the abuse... I guess I felt I deserved it somehow and was actually used to it. I married at 18 to a 32 year old man.... (looking back I see where I needed a father in my life that I was deprived of... sigh..)
Anyway, I was angry at God for a long time that he did not change this person and answer my prayer. I did not want my children to have to be seperated from their father and to go through a divorce. However, God did show me that his love is pure love.... He will not possess a person to change... That is not pure love... That is control. So no matter how hard I prayed, it was truly up to my ex-husband to want to change.... If God possessed him to change, that would not be true love... That would be control.... God loves us all enough to let us have our own choices.... So, I understood that it wasn't really God's fault... I was grateful that God did show me that he would not change and I felt released to divorce him when my son was 14 yrs. old. I still have to be honest though... I wanted to be like the Canadian Geese who mate for life... I did not want to be like a duck who was raped and raped and raped over and over again only to feel used and unloved..... But in spite of it all, I have learned and do believe that everything good or bad in our lives only helps us to be more compassionate and loving to others. There is a possitive in every negative experience if we will allow it to over power the negative.