Angry Expressions (Moderated)

This is a place to talk about things you are angry about, and to let you express your anger in an appropriate way. I will be monitoring this board closely...I hope to not see passive-aggressive behavior here, and if I do, I will try to confront it, regardless of what or who it is regarding. The idea here is to express anger in a healthy way. Strong language is allowed, so please be warned of that if you decide to read other people's posts. I am giving this a test run to see if this board will work...if I see lots of inappropriate anger expressions, I will discontinue this board. Please show respect to all persons here.

STOP FITING...STOPPPPP..THIS IS TERRIE PLACE NO FITEEE

by lisa

HAVE ENOUFF FITE HOME...NOT HEER TOO......

J-L...SOMTIMES BIG/ADUTLS ESPLAIN DIFFERNT ..BUT IS OK....TEY MEEN WELL...TERRIE DO....AN MAIBE JOAN TO I DONT KNOW HER...

GIVE THE BIGS A CHANCE...OK...PLEESE...

IS OK TO NOT LUV EVRYONE....YU CAN NO STOP SOMONE TO LUV YA THO.......

PLEASE......SO FITE IN TERRIE PLACE....

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 10:42 PM

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OK...................................

by annonamuss

from J-l

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 11:20 PM

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see yas

by J-l

am written here 2 say terrie was right an joann was right an ya all win ok. i was wrong 4 tellin some1 who i dunno they suck an i dont full get this bein disrespectin stuff but ok that was wrong...i 2 think it was wrong 4 joann 2 accuse me of bein lisa an bill an 2 accusin them of bein me realy cause thats what it was.. spose i dont not understand adults like i should but then i dont reckon i realy wanna understand em neither....realy why should i anyways i used 2 go on bout how young peeps should listen more an shit an sometimes adults had stuff worth listenin 2 but its done nothin good 4 me thinkin that ways..thing is adults expect us 2 do what they want an when they want an its like totally kool 4 a adult 2 say what they wanna say but hey when some 1 younger does then it aint not ok an well thats ok with me now 2 cause i dont not care no more.... an i 2 no that most peeps here will be real happy 2 see me go cause ya no what else i no u peeps dont not like me but well some of ya pretened u did an i guess i should say thnx 4 that so thnx but i 2 dont not care if peeps dont like me cause its kinda somethin u get used 2 an i dont want no one liken me anyways but good luck 2 ya's all an hope ya futures go ok 4 ya's........later..........
oh an p.s.......i type an i punchuate an talk an shit like this ways cause i feel safer this ways an i aint not comfortable with bein who i used 2 be no more so if thats makes me sound like other peeps then i dont not care... an the history of the person who tells me why i like talkin this ways now is.......a phychoanalist with heaps experience an other degrees......

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 8:27 PM

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Hi Jamie-lee

by

Hi Jamie-lee. I'm sorry you are so upset over this. I know you don't see the way I spoke with Joann as a valid way of confronting her, because I did not say "do not do this"...but sometimes it is not necessary to say it outright like that in order to get one's point across, and when I clearly stated that I know you are not lisa or bill and I stated what I have to base that on, I was giving the message of "no, it is not ok to accuse jamie-lee of being lisa and bill". Yes, Joann pretty much accused you of being lisa and bill...she did so by way of asking questions, so I answered those questions in a way that gave a clear answer. How I confront someone does not depend on their age at all, but rather, what it is that I need for them to know. You may interpret that any way you like, but it is not at all personal or about you so much as it is about what was being said. I know that healthy communication can be confusing when it's not what you were taught. And although I can't teach everything to everyone, I can lead by example. And also, so what if some people don't like the way you talk/write. Anyone who truly cares about you unconditionally will not judge you for that. And I did not know that the way you type and punctuate makes you feel safer, but I'm glad to know that, so thank you for sharing it.

Still love you,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 9:33 PM

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hey, I didn't even know how old you are

by watcher

But I just think everyone can say what they think. Joanne can say something, but you still get to make the decision for what you do with that. If you don't like what she said, then you dont have to listen to it.

I thought I would like to talk to her some more because for me it made a lot of sense but seeing how mad it made you I thought maybe she would email with me. I didn't see where anything she said made you out to be bad or stupid or anything else. I figure you can talk however you please, it doesn't bother me any. I don't think it bothers anyone else either, you have posted here a while and nobody said anything, just that she made a comparison is all.

Posted on Oct 2, 2002, 6:59 PM

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Watcher....hi

by Bill

from wat i get from tis discussion...is tat some peepls don lik to be compar to oters....tey are wo tey are........so wen tey are compar tey get mad...

lisa was not appi...she waz tinking joan dint no belive she waz reel....for jaimi lee...she mai be felt she waz accuse of somting to...wo nose??

it is nobodis faut...juz lots of no undrstanding


tis is wat i tink...
tanx to listen....


Posted on Oct 2, 2002, 10:43 PM

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Joann

by watcher

For what its worth I don't think you did anything wrong. You tried to help. I don't think it is possible to assess the value of your work through a couple of posts. You could be one way or the other, but without given the chance to speak no one will ever know for sure.

I wish I could email with you if you have an addy. I am a survivor looking for ways to feel better. If you are indeed a professional willing to spend a little time on email to help someone I would like to be that someone.

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 2:07 PM

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Joan.......If you ave douts on some one...please ask...an no assume

by lisa

I am real....I am not Jaime_lee, and Jaime _lee is not me...she is my friend .
Bill is 11 an body protector.....
I am 9.....

if ave question ....ask please okai

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 11:03 PM

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Bravo lisa!

by

Very good response!

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 7:37 AM

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dammm dont kno wwat i spose to do????

by Bill

I aint spose be out so often....am lost..dont no wat to do....there ar kids too.....i never took care of the body for so long..only for the beatings...no more beating but pain...i am ok with pain not with the rest....like food.an kids...an fones....loud noise...and all the oter stufff....Max help an Lisa...but she skad....so dono wat to do....

get me maddddddddddd.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgrgrgrgrggrgrrrrrr
@¢£¢¤¤¬¦\±¢\\±±@±\£¢@¢@££@±\¬¤¢¢£³²¦¬¤~{{}[°°±\£¢¢£¤¢¬¢£¦¤²¦¬²²

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 9:20 PM

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Hi Bill

by

I know it's tough to learn about how to be the outside person. And it's frustrating not to know what to do about stuff. I am glad Max can help some. And I understand about lisa being scared, cuz things in y'all's life have been pretty scary lately. Please feel free to write to me any time if you have questions that I might be able to help you answer. I sure don't know everything, but will be more than happy to help when I can.

Terrie

Posted on Sep 28, 2002, 9:46 AM

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Miss Terrie..Where I write to ya??

by Bill

Here or what?
is ok for me to write here....i dont mind...

we hav to take pills for nfection.....an cleen in spescial wai the ..yu wundz ..Max iz duin it now...
Lisa help lik she can but ya she is very ckard.....i aint gona hurt her..yu kno...
wat is hom work? the kids go skool.....wat they eet? wat am spose to put in a lunch?
an close, the kids hav not lots of close...Max sai I hav to wash it?how the machine work?gees way too hardd..
tat get me more angry at him...
bill

Posted on Sep 29, 2002, 9:06 PM

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hi Bill

by anonnamus

hey i no ya post is to miss terrie but did wanna just say some stuff 2 ya in case it might help...how old are the kids....?an like can they help u out with tellin u what they like eatin or what they have in there lunches an stuff..?can they make the lunches instead of u... or if they 2 young do u got a neighbour who can help u just 2 show u how lunches can be made...?do u got apples in yr house or some other kinda fruit or cookies or do u no how 2 make a sanwich...?an if u dont got any of that stuff can u get some or u dont have money..?an if u dont got no money i can get some an send 2 u if u want an i no u dunno me or nothin an it wouldnt not be charity or nothin from me doin that an just would be like helpin a friend an i no u dunno me but i no lisa an so it would be like helpin her out... an about homework stuff well thats like school work but u have 2 do it at home..the teachers give the kids stuff they want em doin at home an is why they call it homework...its borin an most kids dont like doin it an maybe the kids can explain it 2 u..?.....well gotta go ... just did wanna say some of that stuff 2 ya..can u plz tell lisa i say hi an that im am thinkin about her.. from jamie-lee

Posted on Sep 29, 2002, 11:52 PM

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Hi Bill

by

You asked some very good questions, and I will try to answer (and I see Jamie-lee gave you some good answers as well). Homework is school work that the teachers assign for kids to do at home to help them practice what they have learned. Lunches vary, but a good basic lunch might be a sandwich, some chips, a piece of fruit, and a boxed or canned drink. As Jamie-lee said, the kids might be able to help you know more about what they usually take, as can Max. Washing clothes, I would recommend having Max help with this. Basically you will put a capful or scoopful of detergent in the machine, turn it on (probably cold water, permanent press cycle...but if it's in French I don't know the words on it), and put the clothes in...light colors in a seperate load from dark colors. As for where you write to me, here is fine, or if you want to e-mail me click on my name up above and it will give you my e-mail address. I will certainly do anything I can to help you, ok?

Terrie

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:59 AM

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lunch stuffs

by dawni

hi bill,
hope you don't midn us replyin here too just wanted to give some suggerstion for lunches... um, it depends how old the kids are, n how hungry they get.. if they're little, a piece of fruit & a lil bag of chips or somehting might be enough, if they're bigger then they can help you make sandwiches for them for lunch, a sandwich, in case you don't already know, is just two slices of bread with something between them -- like ham, or cheese, or even just peanut butter. um if you got juice boxes/poppers, they can go in a lunch for the kids especially if you freeze em the night before, fruit is good for bigger kids too, especially apples and oranges coz they don't go funny in the lunchbox, somethign that the kids enjoy, like chips or cookies, are good too.

hope that helps some
love, dawni

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 9:39 PM

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WOW

by annonamus

do wish u an Terrie did make my lunchs when i was in school........

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 12:21 AM

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Tanx All who post to help me...

by BIll

I apriciate it....i rite is all down....
the kids ar like 11 an 7....so i let them make te lunch

an laundry...forget it...to komplilkated.....Lisa doing it....

who is this Joan tho..lisa is upset about her?

Bill

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 11:13 PM

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Hi Bill

by

Joan is a misspelling of Joann, who wrote lower down on the page trying to say that Jamie-lee is inside with y'all. We know, of course, that she is not, and we are letting Joann know too.

Am glad lisa is helping out with laundry. And am glad we could be of assistance for you.

Terrie

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 7:40 AM

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itsnotfairitsnotfairitsnotfair

by tonights sky

sister in law is pregnant again this is her second kid and she never looked after the first so wonderful anyway and we got NO KIDS and maybe could never have kids thankjs to what people did we know its possible we just don't know if that's how it will be for us coz since we aren't able to try right now we haven't asked but itsnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfair dawni would give anything to have a kid but we're not stable enough because of what happened to us ad because we just aren't and we want to give our kids a good life when we have them but itsnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnotfair and if we had money now maybve we could have kids but itsnotfair because were too responsible but it hurts and angry and not fair because it hurts to want htem so bad and she got one and dont' even careso much and getting a nother one

ts

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 6:10 AM

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Hi tonight's sky

by

I'm so sorry y'all are having such a rough time with this. I can sure see why it is difficult for you. I do hope that one day y'all are stable enough to have kids, cuz I am sure you would love them alot. And I also hope that the sister-in-law can learn to appreciate hers more and will be a good mom, cuz all kids deserve a good mom.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 7:30 AM

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hey

by anonnamus

i agree with ya it aint fair an it just stinks huh......specially when ya sister in law dont not even look after the 1 she already got..its wierd huh that some peeps cant not have kids like 4 eva an just cant have em 4 what eva reason an them peeps could be so real great mums an then ya get peeps who can have kids an they aint real good at bein a mum...well i reckon some peeps just shouldnt not be allowed 2 have kids an maybe if they werent then maybe there wouldnt be so many messed up kids round an then there wouldnt be no adults round who go on about how kids need a kick up the butt an how they got no respect or nothin 4 them olders when its the adults who mess the kids up in 1st place... u no i hope ya can have kids some days cause i reckon u will be a real good mum an i reckon yr real good 4 noin u not stable anough an not havin kids just cause ya want em an chose 2 wait 4 when u are stable anough an i reckon that makes u a heaps better person then ya sister in law an lotsa other mums who aint no good......

Posted on Sep 28, 2002, 4:16 AM

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correctin what i said

by jamie-lee

ok i been thinkin an i reckon sayin some 1 sux at somethin aint real nice an that was wrong...but i will change it 2 i reckon she aint real good at it an that aint bein not nice 2 her an only given me appinion on what i think from what she said....an ill will tell ya why i think it 2... her title said handle it another ways but she dont bother tellin ruth a better ways...then she says her advice 2 every1 here is 2 let go of your anger rather an wallow in it an find some ways 2 let it go an move on with ya lives...yeh well i dunno about u or no one else but lettin it go an movin on aint somethin thats easy but did she even bother sayin that...nah she didnt an peeps like her from sayin stuff like that make ya feel like yr weak as shit 4 not handlin stuff better an then she desides 2 tell us shes a proff cousellor that works with victims yeh well i reckon ya survive abuse an i aint no victim an a good cousellor will tell ya we survivors......NOT VICTIMS........so am sorry 4 bein disrespectin an tellin her she sucked an i wont neva tell no one they suck again....

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 11:31 PM

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Hi there

by

I think that this is very good feedback and very clearly states why you feel the way you do. Good for you!

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 7:27 AM

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you can say I suck

by joann

It doesn't hurt my feelings. You have no reason to trust me. But I have a question for you. I could be wrong on this, but your posts look an awful lot like posts from more than a year ago by someone named lisa. Spelling, topics, and even punctuation are the same. Your anger is very strong. And what's good about that is that you can take that anger as a tool to grow. Or you can let it eat you alive.

You correctly criticized me for not suggesting how you can use your anger as a tool to heal. Part of the problem is that each person has a different journey. But it is important to take that journey, and not get stuck along the way. And that's what I worry about.

So here are some ways that people I know have worked to get through the wall of anger. They may or may not help you, but you'll at least get some ideas.

1. If you're angry because you have had bad counselors (or even because you're angry at me), then use that as motivation to go back to school and become a better counselor.
2. Most survivors have been told over and over that they are a failure. Prove your abusers wrong. Become a success. That might mean holding down a job, or going to school, or at the beginning just getting out of bed every day. But take the energy from the abuser and put it toward a positive goal for you. Each step you take toward your goals takes one more bit of power away from your abuser.
3. Plan to do one nice thing for someone else every day. This could be very small (say hello to an elderly neighbor) or even a little bigger (donate some food to a food pantry). Pretty soon, you begin to plan your day around good thoughts. And in return, others will be appreciative and you will see a brighter side of life.
4. Do the same as above but for yourself.
5. Give yourself some time each day to be incredibly pissed at your abusers. Tear up their name, throw a pillow, write them a letter you may or may not send, write on this message board. Follow this with a cleansing ritual. Some people burn a candle, others take a shower, hey-- you can eat a piece of chocolate. Whatever. Just do something to transition to the rest of your day, where your energy is spent on you, not on anger.

There are many other ways you might want to try to get through your pain. Maybe others are willing to share what works for them. Maybe you already have some ideas yourself. It is not easy making this move, but if you have been stuck in that anger for a really long time, you're missing out on the beauty in life that you deserve.

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 9:33 AM

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GET THIS AN GET IT GOOD..................

by Jamie-lee

listen up ok an listen REAL GOOD.................i aint not interested in nothin u gotta say ok so dont bother writen nothin more 2 me....u no nothin about me ok......NOTHIN........an as 4 ya advice well this will probly get me in trouble with the owner but u can stick it ok....DIDNT NOT ask 4 it an I DONT NOT want....i got a shrink already oh an maybe i do sound like lisa but id rather sound like her then u.....I WILL TYPE HOW I WANNA TYPE GOT IT.....yeh yr a real good shrink huh...u no i aint stupid an i no what ya was sayin from sayin i sound like lisa cause we post the same an same topics an all well i dont need that shit alright an hope u dont not call ya clients liers like u just did with me...u got no clue ya no that....NONE AT ALL......


Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:18 AM

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AND

by Jamie-lee

HEY SUPRISE SUPRISE THERES POSTS OF ME AN LISA THAT HAVE THE SAME TOPICS........WELL GUESS WHAT IN CASE U AINT NOTICED WHO THESE BOARDS ARE FOR....SURVIVORS OF CHILD HOOD SEXUAL ABUSE...SO DUHHHHHHH NO WONDER WE POSTED SAME TOPICS.....DO U ACTUALLY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE SURVIVIN THIS SHIT...NAH YA WOULDNT OR ELSE U WOULDNT NOT HAVE SAID HALF THE CRAP U DID SAY...YEH WELL AM HAPPY 4 YA CAUSE U NO I HATE THIS SHIT MORE THAN I HATE LIFE AN U DUNNO EVEN HOW MUCH THAT IS........SO GET STUFFED....................am real sorry terrie.........

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:25 AM

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Re: AND

by joann

What exactly about my post angered you?

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:42 AM

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Hi Joann

by

Jamie-lee IMd me and it appears that what angered her is that she feels like you were accusing her of being the same person as lisa, when in fact, she is not. Hope this clears up your confusion.

Terrie

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:48 AM

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terrie

by joann

Question for you: Do you think lisa=jamie lee=bill?

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:50 AM

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Joann

by

lisa and Bill share a body...Jamie-lee lives in a totally different country, as I know from e-mail addresses and ISPs.

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 11:00 AM

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question 4 u 2 dude

by Jamie-lee

yeah an a question 4 u 2...do u think if ya was a proff counsellor u would no exactly who lisa an bill are...??? i reckon ya need more trainin dude.....


Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 7:46 PM

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NOTHIN DUDE

by Jamie-lee

would ya quit it with the anger crap cause ya no what nothin u say angers me so u didnt not anger me so dont even think about thinkin u do an i just dont like ya...an well ya wanna accuse me of bein lisa an bill now 2 well what eva an ya got me ok...so ya no what i do..well when i wanna make a post with me real name that im am usin now i just do it an then if i wanna make a post with lisas or bills name i just goto the airport an i fly on over 2 there country an post an then i just fly on back here...kinda gets real tiren an all but its is real good fun...so there ya go an now me secrets out..gosh ya realy are good at what ya do huh..see ya got me 2 spill me guts an tell ya the truth or um sorry maybe that should be ya got me 2 tell ya what ya wanna hear an if u happy with that well thats totally kool dude.. an now its time 4 me 2 do the accusin.. u no what my carer told me is was that she dont realy like me comin here cause she reckons the net is another place 4 pedophiles 2 hide....u a pedophile huh...??? u no how i no me carer aint not lyin 2 me bout that me an me step dad neva eva let me be on the net unless he was with me an we used 2 go in chat rooms an i had 2 talk dirty 2 peeps why he sat next 2 me jerkin off an then i had 2 suck him when we went 2 them rooms that got sounds of peeps doin it on there mics so yr probly like him exept u pretend 2 be normal an ya no he pretended 2 be normal 2 when he didnt not want peeps noin he was sick.....

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 7:45 PM

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Hi Jamie-lee

by

I know you already don't like Joann, and that's ok. I want to say, however, that I do think the suggestions she offered are very good ones, and if you want, you might look at them again after you cool down. You certainly don't have to...the choice is yours...but I just wanted to mention it.

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 10:49 AM

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what eva terrie

by Jamie-lee

u no i no the choice is mine an i aint gunna look at no suggestions again cause i didnt not ask 4 her stupid advice....an u no u dont gotta say ya luv me lots just cause u want me thinkin same as u an same as this stupid shrink.......hey bet ya glad now i didnt say i wanted u 2 keep on checkin if u could do what ya did email them peeps about the other day.........told ya i aint so great....an u dont gotta tell me i cant not say shes stupid an i broke ya rules again cause i aint gunna be back eva again so just dont gotta tell me that again.....u no ya tell me i cant not disrespect her an tell her she sux but u dont not tell her it aint not nice accusin me of bein lisa an that only says she reckons am a lier an i reckon thats heaps worse then tellin some 1 they suck but is ok 4 her huh cause shes a adult an i no why u didnt say nothin 2 her an its cause u both adults an adults always kiss each others asses but i just did think u was different.............
AN I DONT NOT LUV YA.........

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 5:02 AM

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jamie-lee

by

It's ok with me if you don't want to look at her suggestions...I was just letting you know that there were some good ones. I certainly don't expect you to think the same as me, because you are your own person. And I did confront her on her behavior, and let her know that you and lisa are definately two different people, and I tried to talk to both of you with respect because respect is what I prefer here. I know you are having a hard time with this, but I am still here for you and would be more than willing to talk about this with you if you want. I love you, even if you don't love me...

Terrie

Posted on Oct 1, 2002, 7:35 AM

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joann....i aint finished an got more 2 say.....

by jamie-lee

what was wrong with ruth from the cru offerein 2 kill some one who hurt her an screw up lots of her life...?an i dont not reckon thats got nothin 2 do with anger an think it was a real great thing she done an i also have been told that its real normal 2 wanna kill ya abuser anyways an i 2 have been told that u dont not let go of ya anger an ya gotta work threw it so where did u get ya trainin from...?an i dont reckon peeps here wallow in the anger or nothin an u no somethin angers real hard 2 stop an it aint so easy 2 just let it go an move on an doh we no it dont not mean forgiven an forgettin..it aint like no one heres gunna forget nothin u no even if they do forgive... an anyways who did ask 4 a appinion of some 1 who reckons there a proff cousellor...?no one did an so shouldnt not give it unless u been abused yrself an ya no if ya have then u shoulda said that an not gave ya background as what ya did...u no i reckon u either aint realy a prof couselor or u just suck at what ya do but hey dont worry bout suckin at it cause most of ya's do anyway....


Posted on Sep 25, 2002, 11:13 PM

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Hey Jamie-lee

by

I can hear your anger at joann for her input, and I think you have made some very valid points in what you have said to her, such as pointing out that anger is something that doesn't just go away but that needs to be worked through. I think it's even ok for you to say you are angry at her and that you don't think that her background makes her any better than anyone else. It is very healthy to be able to express your opinions and feeling and to talk about how someone's comments affect you. I have to draw the line at saying that she sucks at what she does, because I think it is important to show respect to everyone here. I know you don't like counselors, and that's ok. It's even ok to tell joann that you don't appreciate her input because you don't like counselors. But it's not ok to attack her or anyone else here. So as you are letting her know how you feel, please try to remember to show her that respect that we all deserve, ok?

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 10:20 AM

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hey terrie

by jamie-lee

am real sorry i did upset ya terrie an i wont neva do it again....an that ONLY means am sorry 2 u cause this is yr board an yr rules but i aint sorry 2 joann an thats is cause i been i should only say am sorry if i realy mean it an if i reckon what i done was wrong an so i aint sorry 4 what i said an who i did say it 2 an only just am sorry 4 where i did say it....
luv ya

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 4:53 PM

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Hey jamie-lee

by

You didn't upset me, jamie-lee. I just wanted to make you aware of the rules for here, because I think healthy communcation is very important. If you want to discuss it more, I will be happy to do so. In the meantime, I do accept your apology even though I was not upset with you.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 7:25 AM

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well

by jamie-lee

glad i didnt not upset ya an just am sorry i broked ya rules....an nah dont wanna discuss it more cause its yr place an yr the boss an them are yr rules an so there aint nothin else 2 discuss.....
luv ya.......

Posted on Sep 27, 2002, 11:06 AM

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"!$/%$%/%$@¢£¤£¢¤£¬¤¢¬¢¬

by Bill,....

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHH GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGRRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG

DAMMM F=DAMMMMDAMMMMDFAAAAAAADAMMMAMMMMDAMM MEMENNNN
MEEENNNNN MEEENNNNNN MEEANNMMMM FUKINGGG MENNNNNNNNN FUKINNNGGGG MENNNN ALLL SAMEEEEMEEEEESAMEEEEEE

BILL


Posted on Sep 25, 2002, 10:02 PM

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Bill

by jamie-lee

am sorry yr upset an angry an all about the mean men who are all the same an i dont not blame ya 4 bein angry...an i hope u can find somethin 2 help u feel some bit better soon.....
bye from jamie-lee

Posted on Sep 25, 2002, 11:20 PM

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tanx jaimelee

by bill

for ansering ...ya men sux

Posted on Sep 30, 2002, 12:15 AM

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Hi Bill

by

I'm glad you are here, and I hope you feel better after letting some of that out. Please feel free to come vent here anytime.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 10:09 AM

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thanks terrie

by

thanks for being suppostive and listening to us. we don't do loist and stuff real good except a few and it is good to have this place.
see ya
nici

Posted on Sep 23, 2002, 1:56 PM

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You're welcome

by

I'm glad to be able to provide this place and to be able to be here for you. I look forward to talking more as y'all feel able.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 24, 2002, 7:43 AM

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i hate the father

by

they called this morning, someone from the biological family, and told me he is in the hospital dieing. i got so excited at his leavign this earth i almost danced across the table i was sitting at. i forgot to ask how they got my phone number and how they found me. i want him to die. i wanted to be the one to torture and kill him. i got over tha in counceling but only bcause i would suffer in prison. if i could legally get away with it i probably would have. then the pother call came. it was him and it was the same voice that paralized me with fear when i/we were children. this time i offered to coem and end hi life and he hung up. the son of a bitch stii thimks he can control and use me/us. my protectors want to go and hurt him, but we do not because we are survivors and he is the looser. called my t and we got a restraining order so he and no other biological family member can talk to me. i will have them arrested and i do not care how old theyare. i ahte them all and i want them all to die a terrable death. i hate them.
ruth from the cru

Posted on Sep 13, 2002, 10:53 AM

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Hi Ruth

by

It sounds like you handled yourself well. You stood up for yourself and stood your ground and legally did what you could to keep yourself protected. This shows so much growth, and I'm so happy to hear that you are doing such a good job with this. It's sure not fair when they continue to try to control us, but it sounds like you have learned how to deal with it. Thank you for sharing!

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 14, 2002, 8:31 AM

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handle it another way

by joann

I'm not sure that offering to kill someone is the best way to handle your anger. When we continue to actively hate and despise others, we invest a tremendous amount of energy in that hate. Energy that could be used towards more happy pursuits. My advice to all here is to try to let go of your anger rather than wallow in it. That does not mean forgiving or forgetting. But find some way to let it go and move on with your lives.
My background: professional counselor with more than a decade of experience working with victims of physical and sexual abuse.

Posted on Sep 25, 2002, 2:26 PM

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joann

by jamie-lee

well no affence but where ya said ya advice 2 all here is 4 us 2 let go of our anger an what eva well my advice 2 u is mind yr own business an DONT NOT TELL ME WHAT 2 DO....i dont not wallow in me anger an its there cause of oh u no forget it cause u aint worth wastin me typin time.....but as 4 ya backgroud who cares... why dont u go do what shrinks do an rip some 1 off whos dumb anough 2 pay 2 listen 2 ya crap

Posted on Sep 25, 2002, 9:46 PM

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Hi Joann

by

Yes, I agree that actively holding on to hate takes a tremendous amount of energy, but I'm
sure you as a counselor know that letting it go is not generally all that easy. I offer this
board as a place for survivors to express their anger and hatred as they struggle to
process and work through those feelings. I hope that eventually each person here WILL be
able to let go of that anger, but until they are able, the ability to express in a healthy
rather than destructive way , rather than holding it bottled up inside, can be very healing.
What I heard ruth saing was not that she was offering to kill anyone, but rather that she
was feeling like killing and chose to do otherwise. She made a healthy choice and spoke
about her feelings rather than act on them. I do appreciate your input, but as I'm sure you
know, having a rapport with the survivor you are trying to assist will make a big difference
in how they perceive your input. I would love for you to spend some time here and offer
your insight, but I do ask that you consider the importance of rapport and the PROCESS of
healing rather than just suggesting the end goal.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 10:09 AM

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dude

by

that was just too well said. you're way cool in my book.

ana/sc

Posted on Sep 26, 2002, 5:54 PM

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Holy fuckin christ but I hate Terrie

by Sean

Man, this girl drives me up the fuckin wall. My buddy has got patience, I'll tell you that cause I would have throttled this fuckin retard's neck YEARS ago. She's such a goddam drama queen, christ, why can't she be normal, I don't understand how all my friends get hooked up with maniacs. FUCK!!!!!

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 11:25 AM

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Hi Sean

by

I'm sorry, but I'm a bit confused...are you talking about me? Or someone else named Terrie?

Terrie

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 5:35 PM

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I HOPE HE AINT

by Jamie-lee

AN IF IS HE NEEDS A REALITY CHECK................

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 9:51 PM

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if ya aint talkin about the good Terrie

by Jamie-lee

am real sorry the girl u talkin bout drives ya up the wall an is a drama queen an aint normal an i hope she can change...am 2 sorry yr friends get hooked up with maniacs an maybe u can get some diff friends in future.....hope stuff can get better 4 ya.....
later...Jamie-lee

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 10:13 PM

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thanks terrie

by

just wanted to say ty and it is nice to have this place to come to.
ty
ruth/thecru

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 11:14 AM

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Hi Ruth

by

I'm glad I can be here for you and that you can come here.

Terrie

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 5:35 PM

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i am pissed

by

i am pissed at all of the ignorant people who tell me to just get over it. if i could just get over it i wouldn't be spending all of this damn money and time on therapits, deprogrammers, and drs. i want to just get through one day witout being exhausted from emotions from flashbacks. i want to be a nonsmoker without being fat. i quit smoking so that i could breathe and i got fat. i have absolutley no idea what that has to do with my being pissed at the shit that i am dealing with from my childhood but it just threw itself in there. i am not always like this bu tthis is a hard time of year and i am triggered and pissed. my therapist says it is healthy because i am pissed and not sittingin a corner trying to do myself in. she doesn't know that no wi want to kill the perp. so which is healthier.
ruth

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 2:29 AM

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Re: i am pissed

by

Hi Ruth. I can sure understand your anger. And I agree that some people are SOOOOO ignorant. I think your t is right about you moving forward. I know that it's no healthier to kill your perp than to kill yourself, but having the FEELING itself is healthier, because you are no longer taking the blame for what happened...you are putting the blame where it belongs. In time, you will move through the anger enough to no longer feel homicidal toward him/her/them. It could take some time, and it will take some work, but it's worth it, and you are already on your way by having made it this far. Please feel free to come here to vent your anger any time you want, cuz this is a healthy outlet as opposed to hurting anyone (self or others). Keep up the great work...I'm proud of you.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 7:43 AM

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not fairr.......

by lisa

yu the cop hav tu wait tat we ar so hurt to do somting? is like they dont believ uz cus wer DID so wat if we are??? huh does DID mean liars?i domt think so....
is not like we no call them wen he was coming over an skairing us..we calld them all time..not that he cam in an hurtd us again an had go hopital now they say.....ho sorrry ..we get im tis time.....mai be he is mean???

i hat cops i kne tey dont care never did....but wat i do so wrong? we so bad???
all i wan is be saff ..an no pain for litl wile..is alll....is alll

terrie...sorry for karol....she wen in deeppp soo deep....i not find her....

lisa

Posted on Sep 4, 2002, 10:42 AM

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Hi lisa

by

I'm so sorry that the cops are being so unhelpful. You are right...it is not fair. You deserve to be protected just like everyone else does. You did not do anything bad to deserve to be treated bad or not believed. I wish I could do more to help, sweetie. As for karol, she will come out when she is more ready. I am thinking you all need to be in a safer place for her to feel safe again....with him not coming over and banging on the windows or anything.

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 4, 2002, 8:30 PM

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terrie

by lisa

he did more then bang on window tis time ...he git in home.....he git in terrie....he....hert agin....terrie....

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 12:43 AM

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oh no!

by

I'm so sorry. And the police didn't do anything????? If they won't do anything, I'm afraid y'all might have to go somewhere where he can't find you.....I really want you to be safe!!!!!

I love you,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 7:39 AM

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TEERIEEE

by lisa

hee wuz bdbd terrie....cops took him....dem fanily sai we wqzas rite but it took dem to see....i so mad...n max....well max an david.are real upset aNGRY
the cops finali lissen onli bcus he hertd uz.....an neibour call cops.....oter wize the cops no believ.....

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 7:49 PM

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Hi sweetie

by

I'm glad they took him away again, but so sorry he hurt you again and that it took the neighbors calling before thc cops would listen. How long are they gonna keep him locked up? And what will happen when he gets out, to help keep y'all safe? I am concerned about you...and I love you.

Safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 7:32 AM

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duunooo

by lisa

how keep saff ...paule want look into other plse.an makel list ofthigs be safe....
terrie i skard........we all skar
an we need more surgeriess.... he can find us in hospital....is cuz of him...
we sakr terrieee


Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 8:13 PM

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Hi sweetie

by

I know you are scared. I hope Paule does look into another place...even though moving can be scary, it might help you be safer. And as for the hospital, let the staff know when you go in that he is not to be visiting you and why. Keep them on their toes watching out for you. I love you sweetie.

Safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 7, 2002, 6:26 PM

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hi lisa

by

no you are not bad. the cops and the laws are stupid. they protect the bad people and not the good people. i am sorry you got hurt and had to go to the hospital. i hope you are better.
ruth from thecru

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 2:33 AM

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ty

by lisa

for saiin im not bad....i think i am....im bd...bdbdbdd

Posted on Sep 5, 2002, 8:11 PM

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lisa

by Jamie-lee

am real sorry u got hurt an NOOOOOOOO DID dont not mean liers an i reckon them cops are dumb asses....an i reckon it totally sux u got hurt b4 them cops done somethin...tell em 2 fuck off if they so stupid again....an as 4 him an if he goes bakc 2 ya house get a base ball bat an hit him over the head with it....wish i did live close 2 ya cause i would loook out 4 ya an i would get a base ball bat an belt the crap outta him 4 ya.....hope u can be safe.....from Jamie-lee

Posted on Sep 6, 2002, 9:58 PM

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Survival for gay men

by Reuben Garza

I am so anrgy at the fact that some people can push this issue aside especially when it comes to men.
Sure there are clinical books for the survival for men, but hardly any personal stories about the actual survival for gay men...
Come out already!!!

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 12:06 PM

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Hi Reuben

by

You are right...there are not a lot of personal stories from male survivors, though I am sure there are many like you. One site I am aware of where some males have written their stories is http://www.stardate.bc.ca/survivors/survstor.htm (I have not read all the stories, but Thomas, David, Charles, Mr. Twix, Anthony, Mike W., Jerome, Robert Ingram, Roger Meddows, Fred, Sam, Vince, Peter, Ronald Partridge, and John Tweedy are all men who have written there). Also, the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization ( http://www.nomsv.org/) has information, message boards, and chat. And here also is a list of e-mail addresses of male survivors who are available to support other male survivors ( http://www.soc-um.org/survivors/emailsupport/emalesupport.html). I hope that you will find these resources useful. Believe me, I know how hard it can be to heal when you feel so alone and unvalidated, and you deserve to heal as much as any other survivor. I wish you peace and healing Reuben. You matter.

Terrie

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 8:57 PM

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hey Reuben

by Jamie-lee

i no terrie gave ya lotsa stuff 2 check out but did just wanna put another link here for a place calld Rainbow...male survivors network..gay an bisexual survivors of sexual abuse
http://rainbownetwork.org.au/
later.....


Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 9:20 PM

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Reuben

by Jamie-lee

hey me again...just did realise that site i gave aint all that good.. theres only just one story an the hole site aint all that good realy...i did think it was like another place on the net with the same kinda name thats is for lesbian survivors...sorry i shoulda checked it out more b4..anyways i hope u can find what ya lookin 4 from terries links...
later.....

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 9:37 PM

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i aint got no title

by Jamie-lee

i HATE me so much....i aint got nothin 2 talk bout an only just need 2 read some 1 cares an i dunno how else 2 say it......an thats is all.........

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 7:11 AM

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We care

by TonightsSky (dawni etc)

We care whole bunches! *rainbows*
Hope you are feeling better now.


Love,
TonightsSky

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 6:45 PM

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TonightSky

by Jamie-lee

1st....LUV the new name....an 2nd thnx heaps ay...4 carin an 4 the rainbows...am feelin better...is a new day....the suns out an the nites FINALY OVER..
luv from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 9:23 PM

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{{{{{{{{{{Jamie-lee}}}}}}}}}}}}

by

I care a whole bunch about you, and I sure hope you feel better soon. I'm always here for you, and love you tons.

Safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 7:31 PM

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{{{{{{{{{{Terrie}}}}}}}}}} :=)

by Jamie-lee

thnx 4 the hugs an 4 carin an thnx 4 luvin me tons an yeh i feel better ....
luv ya....from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 30, 2002, 9:27 PM

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j-l

by lisa

hey i care bout yu....all tim i tink of wat u do an wat yud do if u was heer....

tkae care frimd

lisa

Posted on Sep 4, 2002, 10:37 AM

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fed uppppp

by lisa

tird erting fed up iz no fair....notin fairr.....dont awant be gronw up..an kant tak it....

±@¢¤¢¦³¼½¼½¾`^`:É{{][¾¾½³¦¦¬¦¬¢££@@½³¼¼²¼³¦¦¬°´­¯{}}{[~]¾[[¼³¦¬°@±±°­¾

tak it all awaiiiiii
grrr grrrrrr grrrrr....

i hit himm himmmm dammm it ,,,git tu go agin tu hospital.cuz of himmm himmmm
he desrv be .....hutr tu..i angryyyyyyy
is noooo faiiiiirrrrrrr.....

mikee cryiinnn....he too litl he hurtinnnn

Posted on Aug 14, 2002, 1:02 AM

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Hi sweetie

by

I'm so so sorry you are hurting so much. I know it is hard. You do not deserve to be hit, and you do have the right to fight back and protect yourself. I'm here for you sweetie....please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Holding you and mikee safe,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 14, 2002, 6:13 PM

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why does doing the right thing hurt so much?

by alex

i actually had the restraining order served on my ex last night. i was supposed to do it while she was at work, but she called in sick, so i went to the bar she goes to, hoping she'd show up. of course she did. i tried to talk to her. i tried to get her to see that picking the nasty meth addict over her son was a bad idea. she told me i was controlling her. i probably am, but i'm also trying to protect my son. it's hard to know where the line is.

i was ready to concede that she could see meth guy as long as she didn't bring him into our shared home, if she kept that part of her life separate. i told her that i would be ok with that, and wouldn't serve her. she said that wasn't acceptable and told me to go ahead and call the police. first, i don't think she thought the papers i had in my hand were real. secondly, i don't think she actually thought i'd call the police. but i did. they came and she was so upset.

she cried and cried. i felt bad like i'd done the wrong thing. but i gave her every opportunity to come home. i gave her every opportunity to be with this wonderful son that she's raised since birth. sure he's legally mine, but she loves him so much. it's so weird. she said i'm trying to control her life. the only stipulation i had to her coming home was that she can't bring her f-buddies into our shared house. that seems reasonable to me. she wants to have many sexual partners, i don't want that around where eli plays and all that. but she can't see it. she makes this out to be ME controlling HER life. and it wasn't like that at all.

she picked nasty meth guy over eli. i served her with a restraining order. it's done. she was crying. i felt like crap.

i don't know if i did the right thing or not. i don't know anything anymore.

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 10:46 AM

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actually

by alex

i do know this. i can't pay my rent or my bills. i still have her cats and birds that she isn't taking with her. and i have a whole houseful of her stuff i have to get rid of.

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 10:50 AM

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well.....

by

how much of her stuff can you sell to get the money you need to pay the rent?

So sorry you're having to deal with this hassle and hurt.....

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 5:35 PM

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well

by alex

her stuff that's left isn't worth much. and i can't have a yard sale and let eli watch me sell off her stuff. he's having a hard enough time as it is.

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 8:09 PM

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can anyone help u out

by Jamie-lee

im thinkin yr american an so maybe what im am gunna say wont be much help cause i dunno how things im gunna say go over there but herd it aint real good....but where i live u can get help from the goverment an stuff with if u cant not pay yr rent or bills an stuff....like we got places that can pay it for u an other places that can lend u the money an u pay it back in lil amounts each week till u pay it back but just with no interest an stuff.....an some times places like the savation army an other places like that help pay bills an stuff....maybe u could try lookin for some places like this in yr phone book or on the net an see if they can help u at all....im am real sorry yr havin these problems an i no its is real scarey when u cant not pay the rent an bills...

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 10:55 PM

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Many can get help

by Mary

You can call your government center. They have contacts for single parents and such.

You did the right thing.

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 11:54 AM

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hey Alex

by Jamie-lee

ya question was why does doin the right thing hurt so much...?well i reckon its cause good peeps do the right thing an good peeps have good hearts an a consience an thats is why it hurts....i dont realy reckon that helps nothin but just did wanna answer the question of why i reckon what ya did hurts cause i think what ya did was right...i dont reckon u were tryin 2 control her life an sounds like more of that yr tryin 2 give eli a safe home where he can play an all an thats is the best thing u can do...luckily for eli that he has u in his life an i reckon u should be real proud of yaself for bein such a good parent 2 him...
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 10:39 PM

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Hi Alex

by Tam

I understand exactly what you're saying here. I've been through a divorce & even though you try to do what's right it does feel bad sometimes. My ex is lazy & into allot of bad things & I have been in & out of court for over 7 years now. It's just a mess & he won't work & pay child support so me & my husband now have it pretty hard with the three kids & buying what they need. But, I know you were trying to do what's best for your son & there's nothing wrong with that. We have to protect them & watch out for them, there's nobody else to do it. And even though it made you feel bad just keep telling yourself you had to do it for your son. You did the right thing no matter how wrong it may feel. And I sure hope things get better for you. I know from experience being a single parent is rough. Financially,physically & emotionally but, sounds like your number one priority is your son & that's great. There needs to be more dad's like you in this world. Hope things get better for you soon. Take care. (((((((((hugs to you)))))))))))) Tam

Posted on Aug 12, 2002, 2:17 PM

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Suggestions?

by

I don't usually get too much feed back on this subject matter, but I was wondering if someone could help me. I know I'm beating a dead horse, so to speak, but I seem to be stuck in this rut with this.

Yes, my "mother". My two sisters and I have planned this retirement party for her on Sunday and I did the invites and did not invite her "son". Now I'm having these panic attacks already on Wednesday just by the mere THOUGHT that she may have said something to him and invited him on her own.

How do I go about resolving this issue that doesn't ever seem to want to get resolved. Why do I have to always be the one who is left out when it was HIM that is the wrong-doer? That just does not make any sense to me whatsoever. I'm always the one who is cast out.

Posted on Jul 31, 2002, 12:43 PM

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hey Mary

by Jamie-lee

i dont got no suggestions that can help ya an i dunno a whole lot about what yr goin through with ya mother an her son an all the rest of ya family cause i dont got no family i have 2 see but i did want ya 2 no i did read ya post an ill will be thinkin of ya on yr sunday..im am real sorry u always get made 2 be the one who is cast out an that just aint fair..sounds lots like ya family dont not respect ya an thats means they the ones with the problem an yr a much better person then them...i hope ya mothers son dont not goto the retirment party an if he does i hope ya can get through it ok...
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 1, 2002, 10:15 PM

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Thanks, Jamie-Lee

by Mary

You are wise indeed. And, you're correct, they do not respect my wises. I actually did talk to my mother that day and I asked her to respect my decision and where I'm at in my life right now and she said that she doesn't. If he does show up, I will leave and will not speak to my mother for quite a long time. I told her over and over again that it was not my fault and I refuse to continue feeling like it is. And she blamed me for tearing the "family" apart. I told her, no, that was not me, mom, that was your son who ensured that years ago. It was not me. Whatever. I told her how I felt and got it off my chest. Whether she understands or not, I don't know. She made excuses for him, saying he can't change, he doesn't know how. Blah blah blah blah blah... I told her he's 39 years old, I think he can change if he really wants to. I accomplished it. And then I sat down and wrote "him" a letter. And I even sent it!!!

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 11:51 AM

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GOOD ON YA

by Jamie-lee

for everythin ya did about tellin yr mother how ya feel an of how stuff realy is an i reckon that took lotsa guts an courage....an i reckon how ya sat down an wrote 'him' a letter an sent it 2 is totaly awesome an u should be real happy with yaself for doin that...WAY 2 GO.......

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 1:30 PM

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