getting help for yourself probably makes your friend the happiest out of anything you can do
I know it's a tough one...I really, really do.
Remember the saying by Camus..."If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, it never was."
Just get well for yourself...then, things will work out.
I'm sorry you are hurting so much. I can understand.
blessings to you
riley...