I appreciate you all caring. I'm still having such a rough time. I have cried so many tears. I always kept my hurts inside which okay for a while until I found out how much easier it is to talk when my counselor had time to listen. Now it seems I am back to square one. I am back to keeping everything inside & it hurts because I feel so alone. Many people have come & gone in my life & it really hurts so bad. I think something is definitely wrong with me. I hope I will never turn anyone who needs to talk away. I hope I will always be a friend to anyone who needs me. I try to be really good to everyone & do things for people all the time. I never did it to get anything in return but, it really hurts now that I feel like everyone close around me has deserted me. Why? Why do I have to keep being hurt over & over? Will it be like this all my life? I sure hope not. I have dealt with the horrible past & what my grandfather did to me & then been through one divorce & remarried & now having problems in this marriage because my husband cheated on me. It seems men think this is what I deserve. Pain & heartache & hurt. I wish I could understand what is so bad about me? What is so wrong with me? I feel this is what I deserve because this is all I have ever had in my life. I do need you all on here so much. I appreciate the encouragement you give me. It's nice to know somebody does seem to understand & care. I just don't want to run you all away like I have everyone around me. Thanks so much.