You know as I was being hurt in so many horrible ways I too wondered why nobody saw? Or if they saw but, just didn't care. My own grandmother was there time & time again when he would hurt me. She had to turn her head at times to miss what was going on. I hurt so bad. I have so many horrible memories of things most people would only see in a horror movie. Why? I can't find the answers either. A few years back I had made up my mind not to blame me anymore but, since then I have decided it must have been my fault somehow. Because I keep being hurt by people even now. I have had pain & hurt all my life. I don't even know where to turn anymore. I am scared & so alone here. I had to have urinary tract surgery at the age of 5 & I know it's because of the things he did to me. I ask myself Why again? Why didn't he see what was going on? I know I had scars. I just feel now like I am worthless & so unimportant maybe nobody cared. I feel so hurt. I'm not sure what's going on in my messed up life. Not sure at all. I'm just tired of being depressed & tired of not being able to sleep at night because of the horrible nightmares. I'm tired of searching for someone to care & listen here around me & no one is ever here. What is so wrong with me? It's like I have a plague or something. Like I am contagious. I'm not though I am just a person that's hurting & needs for someone to care & love me. Give me a hug every now & then be here to listen. I would do the same in return but, there's nobody! Everyone needs friends especially me! Sorry to keep coming on here & whining I am just hurting so bad right now & you are the only ones that seem to understand me. Thanks for listening. Take care & please think about me.