No, you don't have a plague. I think it is very common for abuse survivors to continue to suffer more abuse until they are more healed...it really does seem as if they have a sign on their forehead that says "abuse me"....but you don't really have that. What happens is that our unconscious sends off signals of vulnerability. People who hurt others pick up on those signals, and also send out signals of their own that survivors often pick up on. I know it's confusing. I once heard it at an alanon meeting or in a book like this....if a codependent personentered a room full of strangers, the one person they would be most attracted to would be the alcoholic or some other unhealthy person that they could then "take care of" and "try to fix". It's amazing how the vibes we are not even aware of work. As we heal and become more able to exude our inner strength, though, we are more likely to give off vibes of not being a victim, and therefore less likely to attract others who will hurt us. I hope I'm making some sense.... Anyway, all this is even more reason to work hard on our recovery, so that we become less vulnerable and less likely to attract others who will hurt us and more likely to attract others who will be healthy in our lives. I wish you peace and healing, and I'm glad you can come here to talk.