You know things have been so bad. I seem to get weaker every day from this battle I have been trying to win. I am so depressed because I seem to have no friends & nobody to turn to just to talk anymore. It's like nobody ever cares. I feel like an out cast like I don't have anywhere in this world I belong. I feel so worthless & unimportant. I wonder at times why I keep going. It's not like many would miss me if I was gone you know? I have been treated like a piece of trash for so long I think now I am trash. Something is wrong with me I can't have friends. It seems every time I think I have a friend to turn to when the time comes I need them just to listen or give me a hug they run. Always have & I guess always will. Because of my abuse I feel less than a person. People say it wasn't your fault well, then why is it so easy for people to treat me so bad? I mean people say they care but, then when I need a simple hug nobody is here. I'm so tired of hurting. I seem to just exist for people to hurt me more. What's the point? I don't sleep because of what my grandfather did to me. He ruined my life & still continues to do so. Not because I'm letting him because I have fought so hard to get this out & feel better but, it won't go away. Then people hurt me so often I stay in a just cry. Why do I stay here just to be hurt more? I try to be so understanding & kind to others just to be pushed aside. I no longer even have a counselor. After posting on here even he has run away. What's wrong with me? Why can't anyone love me? I am so tired of this pain. Sorry to bug you all with this. Just have NO WHERE else to go & NOBODY else to care!!!!!! Tam