I can really understand your feelings. I have had trouble sleeping for years now. And on the nights I do go to sleep it's only for a little while to wake up in a terrible nightmare & then I am so scared. I feel so alone & every time I find a (friend) I think I can talk to about it they run from me. What's wrong with me???? I care for others why can't others care for me? I am afraid to trust anyone. I have been hurt so many times. The pain is unbearable at times. I just sit & cry. I stay in my room sometimes for days at a time not even coming out. I just want someone to love me & for someone to understand. I just feel so useless, like a failure. I am so very unimportant when I'm not around people don't even miss me. I just want to belong somewhere & everywhere I go I feel like an outcast. Maybe, I am an outcast. The friends that I open up to & tell about my past say it's not my fault. I try to get that in my head but, can't. Then the friends walk out on me & I'm wondering if maybe they really felt it was my fault. People treat me like I have a disease or something. I just want a friend to lean on. Someone to listen that's all. I can't deal with this pain, it hurts so bad. Tam