this is just a story about what happened to me as a child abuse victim
i was a young 7 yrs old when my mum moved us children to sydney with her boyfriend(ex very much now)we lived in a 1 bedroom flat where my brother and myself were sleeping on the floor( yes they had the bed). i am not sure how long we were there before the abuse started. the real abused started the night when we went out for dinner in a pub. i don't remember much about that particular night except that my brothers' penis got cut i remember going back to the flat and somehow the police and the ambulance were called. the ambulance took my brother and my self to the hospital while the police took my mum and the ex boyfriend to the police station. we arrived at the hospital on a bed and the nurses were getting ready to take my brother to the ward.(there wasn't anything wrong with me except that i had welts on my left leg from the hip region to the ankle bruises over lapping themselves) they couldn't see anything wrong with me so they were going to send me away but then i must have turned around and they saw the welts on my leg( they r similar to ordinary bruises except that u get them from an open hand smacks constantly and they r reddish color)they then kept my brother and i together. we stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks ( my brother had to have an operation to fix his penis. i was scared as i didn't know whether my brother was coming back or not.) a social worker came and saw us to let us know that we were not allowed to go home with our mum. the police brought our mum to see us once while we were there. (later we found out that she and ex boyfriend was charged with i am not sure to this day)the social worker had to find us a temperary place for us to stay while court proceedings started. that placement only lasted for 5 mths as the courts deemed my mum unfit.
we then was awarded guardianship to (facs) family and community services(which now is department of community services).burnside was our main carer but with facs as our guardian though we were state or ward(which i just recently found out)we still had to go to court to find out for how long we were to be put into care. my brother had to testify at my mums and her ex's trial. after all that( that i am aware about)my mum got 2 mths stint in jail. the ex had his parents put up his bail as he was getting hurt in jail. we were not allowed to go home till we were 16 yrs old legally.
well things only got worse from there. we were in a group home for 3 1/2 yrs before they found us a foster placement. things were good for a short period before things for m got bad(not my brother till i moved) when ever i did things wrong i would be punished by going to bed with out any dinner then when the dad(foster) got home he would pull me out of bed by my hair(physically) i believe that lasted for a while before i began to say something. i was then moved to another group home for nine mths before i was fostered out again. again this only lasted for a short while and i was then placed in another group home for a very short while before they moved me to an organisation called sisters of mercy. that only lasted for 4 mths as they shut down due to a lack of funds. i was then again placed in another group home for a short while while another group home was getting set up/running.
this was my last group home i was there for 3 yrs before i decided to go home to my mum at the age of 17 1/2 yrs old. through out this my mum had contact with us when it was suitable for her. i just wanted to know what a family is all about but that was my biggest mistake as my mum and i never got along( we still don't to this day) i have never forgiven her for what she done. she doesn't want to talk about it so how can i move on? well i couldn't and i still can't.
after what i had been through i decided if i had children they would be treated differently. i was going to do something hard by breaking the cycle.
i have now since had my own child and it didn't start out well. it was harder then i thought to break the cycle. i shook my son 1 which scared me enough to dob my self in to D.O.C.S as i knew that i didn't want things to be the same.
believe me it is so much harder to break the cycle then to give in and abuse ur child.
i am still to this day a very angry person because my past has made a path to my future that i don't want to follow. i have chosen my own path that i want for my son and myself with no support from my family nor his dad or his family. i have just recently found out that i have a personality trait which my past has dictated cause i don't know any better at able to handle life. i can function normally like other people i just need self confidence and self esteem etc etc
don't get me wrong i am a happy person its just i have had a crap life and it can only get better from here.