I know that denying my truths is not the answer, but I'm really wondering lately...why not? Since the memories have come back, and more are coming, it seems like my life has and is still falling apart. Before, I was self destructive and angry, and didn't know why. But I also had happy times and beleived I had strengths which now I cannot even remeber what they were! I don't care about the things I did before, don't want the same things, am not attracted to the same people, don't feel the same as before! I feel as if everyone is speaking a language I don't understand or that I am speaking a language noone understands is probably more accurate. I find myself wanting to test limits with everything, all the time thinking what's the worst thing that could happen? Nothing I think of scares me. I can't see any good in my life or myself. I see myself as so emotionally screwed up, crazy, stupid, ugly, incapable, less than, (than what? EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!!) I feel like damaged goods and that I am a product of these memories. And sometimes I feel like I can just lay down and die, and I wouldn't mind! I'm not suicidal, I just don't care. Anyway, the point of this very long message is that I feel I was not like this before the memories. I had problems, and in a way am glad to finally start making sense of where the feelings and anger came from, but basically, feel remembering and concentrating on the memories has really messed with my head! Thankyou for listening to my LONG rambling message, I hope you are well, Kira Oh yeah, it does make me feel good to hear what you said about getting lost, thankyou for hearing me and understanding me.