The memories hurt and can be hurtful. It's hard to get past them without going through them. THe memories resurface to remind us of some emotional aspect of the trauma necessary for healing.
I wouldn't doubt if you not wanting sex from your husband anymore is very connected to your memories- that's very common.
The tears will come when you're ready for them to come- be patient with yourself.
Do you have a T or a good support system? Is your husband aware and supportive? Those things help. The folks here are very supportive- I'd encourage you to write here as often as you want or need- sometime it takes a few days to get a response. Usually Terrie who runs these boards is here- she's wonderful to talk to.
Hang in there Lisa.
I look forward to talking to you more.
Margaret