Hey Kira, I'm not exactly sure how I dealt with the memories at first. I remember not being able to talk to anyone at all, and especially my therapist at first. It took a long time before I could tell her anything, but the relief when I did was amazing. I learned a couple of coping strategies that helped.
The feelings, though incredibly intense, and overwhelming, are just feelings. The abuse happened, and its over, and now you're safe to have the feelings. If you don't feel safe, do something to get safe, like calling your therapist, or a friend, or just getting in a physically safe place. Breathing is really, really important. Deep slow breaths. Literally tell yourself in your head that the abuse is over and that you are okay now. When I first started remembering stuff, I couldn't tell anyone what had happened to me, but I could tell them that I needed to not be alone. That really helped, to physically have another person in the room or on the other end of the phone line.
I also had a really debilitating anxiety disorder that left me literally unable to function. My t helped me develop cognitive and behavorial things to show me what triggered my panic attacks and how to deal with them. It was a slow process, but that work, plus meds, really helped a lot. I haven't had one in years.
About telling your t about your scholarship...can you write it on a piece of paper? Sometimes if I can't say things, I can write them. Also, if it helps to tell someone else, you could email it to me, and then it wouldn't be the same secret, and maybe it would be easier.
I know the feeling of thinking you really are stupid, even though you have this totally great scholarship and others obviously don't think so. I know you aren't stupid. So there.
Hang in there. You will get through all this. And write anytime.