Yes, they are lying. No, you are not crazy. If I had a dime for every time I asked myself what you ask, I'd be richer than Bill Gates. But really, you are not crazy, nor are you lying.
The therapy thing is hard. Take a break if you need it! Taking a break is important, but so is having that support of therapy. I'm sure you'll know the right thing to do.
My partner is totally amazing. She is very supportive. I never imagined that I would find anyone who could support me so much. In fact, I used to think that I could never be in a relationship of any sort, cause I was too messed up. But things change!!
One nice thing about the ocean...if you can't get in it (or a warmer version of it!) you can picture it in your mind. And if you live near it, you can at least go look at it. Very important thing to me, to look at the ocean.
I hope you are doing okay. As usual, I am thinking of you. Hang on through those sad 5 AM times. You will make it. Can you have something nice by your bed, like a picture of a good friend, or a stuffed animal, or whatever, so that when you wake up, you will have something RIGHT THERE! That helps me when I get the 4 and 5 AM misery wake up calls.