hi
i am 36 and a mom of 4
how i have managed to get this far in life is unknown to me as i am feeling the same way
when some one says man u are such a nice person
a great mom i think
no u dont really know me or understand me
i am tired of this all the feeling of inadaqute
not good enough the daily struggles to get through each day
as they sit back and seem to float through life
i understand what u are saying
i wonder if it will end i think maybe tomorrow but so far tomorrow doesnt come
i look at my kids and i am amazed that i have raised them with no abuse i have not turned to drugs or drink.
i have lost one mariage and now due to what is inside me i am losing another relationship but than i think maybe this is what god wanted for me to learn about me for now
i pray to him and tell him that i am tired please no more
i have had 6 wonderful years with the man i am now with but losing there are great people to show us that the world is an ok place to be
one day i will be able to scream at my fathere when he is dead
my uncle told me that i should walk up to him in public and give him a what for and tell him what he has done
i dream of this and play it over in my mind
makes me feel good and strong as i come from a family of abused people
i have written many letters to the abusers never mailed them but it helps clean inside me
i have never hidden what has happened to me from my kids and others u will get strong and be able to say i am good i am innocent