It is sad that any human should suffer such pain as many of you have, for I know that you are not alone. Many other women Tam have gone through this horrible experience that you have traveled through. It truly is a dark valley to travel. Some women come out and move forwards with their live but not pain free. Then again some do not come out at all. The darkness of the valley over shadows them into complete destruction. Although many turn from God during the dark hour of their lives (feeling He had forsaken them) I am thankful to see you are holding to His hand. It is easy to question God as to why He doesn't stop all this mess but then He would have to take away the individual's self will. That God will not do. It is not God who is at fault but rather people such as your grandfather who has a twisted self will. In those moments its good that God doesn't allow us to play God for it would be unthinkable what I might do to punish these sick minded people. Their day will come. But for now I shall continue to be your friend and shall lift my hands in prayer for all your web friends who have suffered the same experiences in their lives. The Gain from any Pain is not to feed the Pain. The pain can be feed so many ways such as through fear, inferiority, low self-esteem, and the list can go on. Your story was well worded and is sure to minister to some heart that needs repairing.