I obviously have been absent, myself...even though I'm the creator of this board. Sorry about that....
But I wanted to say, albeit belatedly, welcome back. I'm glad to hear that things are somewhat better now than they used to be, although still very difficult at times. And congratulations on your baby girl! I have a new baby, myself...a little boy...so I know what a blessing that is. But, anyway...you asked if the roller coaster will ever end...and the answer is that it can, but whether or not is does will largely depend on you and what you do to continue your healing. The fact that you found a therapist that you trust and that you are slowly lowering your guard and opening up is a very positive step. Keep up the great work, Soranyi, and even though it may take months to get a reply here (and again, I apologize for that), please do feel free to come back again and share whenever you would like. Despite my infrequent visits here, I very much enjoy reading updates and even answering questions and offering support when I do come here.