Memory Meadow (Moderated)

This is a safe place to talk about your memories. I've created a safe meadow where you can put the memories and let the gentle breeze quiet the pain. Many of the memories are difficult to talk about, and may be very difficult to read about, so please take gentle care of yourself.

I am back

by Soranyi

ok, the last time i wrote on this board was 5 years ago.. Back then I was sooo scared, was having panic attacks almost everyday. Noone knew what happened to me when i was little... My therapist did not know that "Iwent away alot" (dissociate). I have made alot of changes. I have a thrapist who I trust.. I am slowly opening myself to her.. lowering down my guard.. I still have the flashbacks and the panic attacks, but they are a bit more under control with the medications that I am on. I am going back to school which i have not been able to do up until now.. I have a wonderful baby girl. Everything seems to be going goo dBut then i get back to when i felt like dying... kinda like a roller coater.. IS this ever going to end?

Soranyi

Posted on Apr 25, 2008, 4:55 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Welcome back

I obviously have been absent, myself...even though I'm the creator of this board. Sorry about that....

But I wanted to say, albeit belatedly, welcome back. I'm glad to hear that things are somewhat better now than they used to be, although still very difficult at times. And congratulations on your baby girl! I have a new baby, myself...a little boy...so I know what a blessing that is. But, anyway...you asked if the roller coaster will ever end...and the answer is that it can, but whether or not is does will largely depend on you and what you do to continue your healing. The fact that you found a therapist that you trust and that you are slowly lowering your guard and opening up is a very positive step. Keep up the great work, Soranyi, and even though it may take months to get a reply here (and again, I apologize for that), please do feel free to come back again and share whenever you would like. Despite my infrequent visits here, I very much enjoy reading updates and even answering questions and offering support when I do come here.

Terrie

Posted on Jan 6, 2009, 10:08 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Tormentor

by Watcher

Tormentor died today. Finally.

Why did I cry?

Posted on Feb 28, 2008, 8:24 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi Watcher

It's been almost a year now, huh? I'm not surprised that you cried. They could have been tears of happiness or relief, and/or tears about losing a person who should have been a safe person in your life, but wasn't. Because, you see, when someone dies, all hopes and dreams that are related to that person are affected. So if a part of you wished that Tormentor had been different, then any hope of that happening (no matter how unrealistic that hope may have been) died when Tormentor died. Does that make sense? Let me give a fairly neutral example....let's say that I had a cat who was always biting and scratching me. Let's say that I wished that the cat were a nice kitty that I could just hold and pet and who wouldn't hurt me. I know I can't make the kitty be a nice kitty, but deep down I still wish it were a nice kitty. When the kitty eventually dies, any hope of it becoming a nice kitty is gone. My dreams of the kitty being a nice kitty didn't come true, and even though I knew in my head that the kitty would never change and become a nice kitty (and even if it did, that wouldn't take away the scars from the previous bites and scratches), I still wish the kitty could have been a nice kitty, and now it will never happen. And so I feel sad about losing the nice kitty that I wanted but never had. And it can be the same way with people.

As you approach the anniversary of his death next month, how are you doing? I hope you are doing well...but some people have reactions to anniversaries, so I hope you will take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself as the day approaches.

Caringly,
Terrie

Posted on Jan 6, 2009, 10:21 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

just sad

by katie (knc)

I've been trying not to cry so much today but haven't done a very good job of it so far.....usually my mother sends me $$ for christmas but didn't get squat this year =( last year she game me a subscription to a game site called pogo, and SAID that she would renew it for me for xmas this year, she changed her mind so i didnt get anything from her this year...

I sent my daughter a $50.00 gift card from walmart like I do every year, and so far she hasnt even acknowledged that i even exsist. i am so hurt because my own family seems to not give a crap about me anymore. my daughter doesnt approve of me being a lezbian and says im going to h*ll for it, nor does she believe in people being multiple, she says im full fo d*mons and am going to h*ll. i haven't seen my mother in 8 years and i really miss her. i miss my daughter too, and she has 2 children that i will prolly never get to see EVER =( .....

I know that xmas isn't about the gifts, but it sure is nice when u DO have something to open on xmas day, i havent had that in nearly 21 years (since my daughter was 4) i spen alla my $$ on her while she was growing up. i raised her by myself and now that shes grown she hates me. i tried to be a good mom really i did, guess it wasnt good enough =( i broke my back making sure that my daughter had a roof over her head and clothes on her back and that she had a good education and everything she wanted for her xmases. now i feel like a cast out piece of garbage and it just plain ole hurts ;-(

katie-n-krew
(katie)

Posted on Dec 24, 2006, 2:56 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

{{{{{{{{{{{Katie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Katie and all,
I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much this year. I can hear your hurt. Please know that you are in my thoughts, and I'm sorry that I can't do more to help you right now.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Dec 27, 2006, 2:26 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

i haet this

I can not shake this.
I had a flashback and it was not just any flashback. It is a flashback with the feelings. I can feel him touching me feeling his finger slide into me. I can feel him kiss. me . I can not stand this. I can not live with things like this. I can feel the rope I can feel him tighten it around my hands and put the pillow over my head. Why will this not stop? Why do I have to feel it? His hands will not stop it hurts. I do not like it. I want daddy to stop. Why it hurts I hate it. No more touching no more kisses. No more feelings. I can not stand it. Why? I want this to end. I do nto want to be bad I will do anythign to be good. He likes the games and I hate it. I want to disappear. I want a real daddy not one that hurts me still. I can not stop this.

It won't stop the images the sensations keep coming. I am such a bad girl. I do not like it he wants me to like it. I hate it I want to cry. I can't let him see. It won't stop I see them everywhere. Me laying there on the bed his is doing it he is touching me he is hurting me. HELP. I want it to stop I do not want to see or feel it. I hurt :"( :"""(. STOP STOP NO NO . Why no one hear? Why no one come? It hurts it hurts

Posted on Nov 5, 2006, 12:11 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hm comn

hs comng. hs comng int he rom wit the cape on it drk otside so drk. so vry drk n the hose too hs cming wth tht cape on, covring al but his face his eys his eys scare me comng closr hs comng closr i am seepin kant yu se i seeping go way. bt hes stil comng hs comng closr to me wile i seep.leve me alon plese leve me alon. it drk i cnt run i cnt hid. i strt shakng bu hav to stop no kan moov no kan moov or hm wil hrt me mor. no hav to sta stil hav to let him do wat he wans and hm wil go way fastr. oh plese stop don tuch me don do tha plese no. al i se ar his eyees his eyes scare me. i cant cry, no cuz gud gurls dnt cry hav to be gud. but he tels me i bad and hav to be punishd. it hrts, but i trid to be gud, i trid i relly trid but no gud no i not a gud gurl i so bad. he hurtng me but it wil be ovr suun. yas, it wil be ovr suun as lng as i sta stil an don cry. it hrts so mch it relly hrts. jus wan it to end. cnt cose my eys thts bad. hav to look at hs eys. his eys scar me he tuchs my fac no plese don tuch me. finaly he goe i se ehis blak cape as he leves it flows as he waks. blak capes al aroun me don like ths tim of yer lts of blak capes lik his. they all look lik his no mor blck capes. they ned to go way.

frm

lacey jo

Posted on Nov 5, 2006, 12:06 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

this is me

Inside of Me

Something a little off
Something a little different
Something a little strange
Something not quite the same

A cry heard from a young child
A scream from a angry teen
A young girl in the corner with her knees pulled in tight
A soothing word of love spoken for all to hear.

A little kids room there
A neat living room here
A lot of room around every turn
Sounds like a house
But it is the world within me

This one holds a memory of pain indured
That one holds the hurt of what was done wrong
This one holds tight to the lies she was told
That one fears everyone.
They are the ones inside of me.

Do not point.
Do not laugh
Do not reject me
This might have been you
For who knows you may have done the same to survive.

I did not choose this
I did not ask for this
Could it really be a blessing
Could it really be a curse
It is the way I survived
It is DID - Disassociation Idenitiy Disorder

Posted on Nov 4, 2006, 6:32 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

I DONT LIKE DADDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Jenni_KnC

daddies are badbadbadbadbad
they touch you wen you dont wanna be touched
they make YOU touch them on their naughty places
they make u put ure mouth on their pickle and touch their peanuts
i choke and gag and cant breath and wen i cry he hits me and tels me to
shut my dirty little mouth and get back to sucking

then he hits me more and more and more until i bleeding
he puts his stick inside of me and kisses my mouth and it makes me feel very
sick and want to throw up

i dont like daddies not at all

jenni_knc

Posted on Nov 4, 2006, 12:47 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

just me again :\

I hate the flashes and memories and nitemares I hate that he did things to me that NO child should EVER have to endure, I feel so worthless and useless ATM and I just want to curl up in a big fat ball in the corner and cry I just want to give up and stay inside forever but NO I cant do that I'm EXPECTED

(as some people would tell me)

TO JUST GET OVER IT the abuse started when I was just 1 1/2 and went all the way through my childhood, it totally scarred me for life so to all those peeps who have NO idea what its like to endure THAT kind of horrid abuse, I tell THEM to get over themselves.....

Sorry for sounding so mean, but it irritates the crap outta me when people tell me to just get over it, dont they realize that if I COULD just GET OVER IT I woulda done that a long friggin' time ago? I mean come on get real...

My abuser didnt care how much he hurt me or what the lasting effects would be on my entire life, he used FEAR to keep me locked in HIS world...and...even though he has passed it seems like he is STILL reaching from the gr*ve to make my life a living H*LL!!!!!!

Ok I'll shut up for awhile, just had to try and get that offa my chest, thank you for letting me cry, bawl, kick, scream, whine and complain you're the BEST!!!

Katie_KnC

Posted on Nov 4, 2006, 12:44 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

remembering sux =(

why cant i just forget things?
why does it have to hurt so much?
sometimes i just want to kick and scream
and people tell me to just get over it
its easy for them to say, but a person who goes
thru what we've been thru CAN'T just get over it
wish to god i could just hit the escape button
like on a computer and erase ALL the bad memories
all the bad nitemares, and flashbacks and body memories
but it doesnt work that way does it???

sometimes i just want the world to stop so i can get off of it
or open my head, take my brain out, set it on a shelf and let
it air out for a few days and get all the junk and gunk outta it...

i know i wound like a B I G F A T baby but i can't help the way i feel sometimes, and people always say TALKING about it helps, but sometimes it DOESNT help and people just DON'T understand that...

why can't things just settle down in my life from time to time and give me a break every now and then...guess i'll never get THAT lucky...ok i've rambled enough, sorry if i rambled toooooo much...

katie_knc

Posted on Oct 10, 2006, 11:20 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Katie

Katie, first, I want you to know that you are welcome to "ramble" here as much as you want...that's what this board is for.

You're right...remembering sucks. I understand about not being able to just get over it. And unfortunately, the more you try to push them away, the more they insist on interfering. I wish there were a way for life to be easier for you. I care.

Terrie

Posted on Oct 23, 2006, 11:44 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

ugh :(

Its pretty bad when a kid wishes they could just die, which is what i wished almost every day in my childhood because of all the abuse that was going on in my life. All I wanted was a daddy that REALLY cared about me and loved me but I didn't get that, all I got was beatings and him telling me how worthless and useless I was. "If you werent so bad I wouldnt have to punish you" he would say. (or) "I should've killed you the day you were born, I knew you were useless and worthless the day you were born!"

Ok I'll shut up now, sorry for rambling...

Katie_KnC

Posted on Oct 7, 2006, 11:52 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

i hate memories and dreams

IM SO FED UP WITH THESE MEMORIES AND NITEMARES
I MEAN THE "SOB" IS DEAD AND I'M STILL DEALING
WITH MEMORIES AND NITEMARES OVER AND OVER AND OVER
AGAIN, IT HURTS, IT SUCKS, AND IM SO D@MNED FED UP
I JUST WANT TO GO INSIDE AND NEVER COME OUT AGAIN

***crying and feeling so alone right now***

katie

Posted on Oct 6, 2006, 11:14 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

remembering hurts :( MTMTMT

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

i remember a time when i was about 9 years old and im standing in a garage and theres 2 naked men standing over me. turns out it was my d-d and one of his friends. i could smell the alcohol on their breath, and i was tied up with duct tape hands behind my back, and duct tape over my mouth and they started feeling me all over and ripping off my clothes. i dont remember much else except they were too big to penetrate me so they used their well u know their fingers

i cried and cried and begged them to stop but they wouldnt listen to me they just kept telling me to shut up and stop crying to quit being such a big baby (BUT THATS WHAT I WAS DAMMIT A BABY!!!) gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd im so tired of hurting and remembering shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

katie_knc

Posted on Jul 27, 2006, 10:33 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

im sorry :(

by KnC (Katie)

i didnt mean to write so much bad stuff

katie_knc =(

Posted on Jul 9, 2006, 8:30 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

No apology needed

There is no need to apologize for that sweetie...that is exactly what this board is for...to write about that awful stuff that happened either in real life or in dreams. You did just fine writing about it here, ok?

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Jul 16, 2006, 4:15 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

are you sure?

some of these memories are really bad and can trigger people
that is the last thing i want is to trigger anyone. some of these mems
are more horrid than anyone could ever imagine and most people
dont even believe me when i tell them, so i guess it may be a fear of not being believed

katie_knc

(going back to hiding)

Posted on Jul 18, 2006, 10:30 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Katie...

Of course I'm sure...and this is a safe place where people will believe you...I promise you won't get any replies from anyone who doesn't (cuz if they try to reply, I won't approve the message!). It's ok to say it here....and this particular board is specifically for triggering stuff, so anyone reading here already knows that and is asked to take care of themselves if they choose to read stuff here, ok? I created this board so that there would be a seperate place to write about this really triggering stuff....that way the people just at the main board won't be triggered by it, and those who read it have chosen to do so knowing that it's triggering. So feel free to write any of it...it's ok....I promise.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Jul 20, 2006, 10:02 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

awful memories

by KnC (Katie)

I HATE THESE MEMORIES
THEY COME AND KEEP ON COMING
WITHOUT ANY REST =(

I JUST WANT THEM TO SLOW DOWN SOME
ITS NOT FAIR
I HATE THIS

katie_knc

Posted on Jul 7, 2006, 9:38 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Katie...

I know it's hard....

If you want to write them down, you are welcome to do so here. If not, that's ok too. Just know that I care.

Terrie

Posted on Jul 7, 2006, 9:42 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

I know but...

by KnC (Katie)

Of all These awful memories, the one that bothers me the most is when my brothers tied me up and gagged me and locked me in the trunk of my mothers car. It was a hot summer day, and I was playing out in the backyard, and they rushed me, knocked me to the ground and tied me up, put duct tape over my mouth and eyes and put me in the trunk of my moms car. All I remember is the fear of not being found and I actually thought I was gonna die. My kid brother heard me pounding from the inside of the trunk and hit the release button...they told me if I ever told anyone they would beat the crap out of me, so naturally I never told anyone =( and have kept this inside all of these years and its killing me inside, and I am tired of it, it hurts so bad that I just want to hide ;-(

katie_knc

Posted on Jul 8, 2006, 10:16 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Oh Katie...

I'm so so sorry that happened to you...how very frightening! I can sure understand why you kept it in all these years, and I'm so glad you are finally sharing it! Please know that I care sweetie.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Jul 16, 2006, 4:11 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

i know and i did but

havent seen it posted yet, and this sucks

i am so tired fo alla this crap all the flashbacks
all the nightmares i am so tired of being sick and tired
and the new memories are so overwhelming i almost cant stand it :-O

katie_knc

Posted on Jul 14, 2006, 10:50 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Sorry

I'm sorry I did not get it approve sooner so it would show up....I can be a bit lax about checking, I admit, and it's not fair to you. I want you to know, though, that I will approve them all, even if it takes some time....and if for some reason I don't approve something, I will let you know (of course, I don't let spammers know why I didn't approve spam, but I know you don't write spam, so you don't have to worry about that).

I care, ok?
Terrie

Posted on Jul 16, 2006, 4:14 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

traumatic memories haunt me to this day

My name is Lily. This is my first time posting here. I was abused physically emotionally, and sexually throughout my childhood and teens, and even into my adult years. I was a really screwed up teen and everyone treated me like shit for it. Despite how noticeabley screwed my homelife was not much was ever done. I couldn't get police to understand, and Children's Aid never believed I needed a stable environment. I was nearly committed a few times but my family stopped that from happening and deny it ever happened.

This may be traumatic to hear. One of my strongest memories in my teens is my mother allowing an older sibling to beat me for talking to a school guidance counselor. This was also after an incident where an aquaintance was a little bit sexually abusive with me.

I would act "crazy" afterwards and people would judge me for it and sometimes be downright cruel.

15 years have passed since that time in my life and I am blown away by how angry I still am, and how judgemental and cold our society typically seems to be with people who have difficulty coping with life after such a shock.

Lily

Posted on Jul 14, 2005, 10:05 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Lily

Welcome, and I'm so glad you are here. You are by far not the only one who was not helped or believed, nor the only one who acted "crazy" to try to get some attention and some help. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and your anger is very understandable. It's some tough anger to work through, and it can taint our outlook of the world. Please feel free to share whatever you need to share. I, unfortunately, do take a while to check on the boards and approve posts, but if you can be patient, you will get some good support here (even though there are not a lot of people here, those that are really care). I hope you come back.

Terrie

Posted on Jul 23, 2005, 9:59 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

sorry

by im twinkle

i wrote too many bad things

Posted on Apr 16, 2005, 3:38 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Twinkle

Hi sweetie.

It's ok that you wrote about those bad things. I'm really sorry that happened to you, but it's not your fault and I'm not mad at you and in fact I'm very proud of you for telling about those things cuz I know it can be scary to talk about. You are welcome to write more if you want to.

Love you lots.

Posted on Apr 25, 2005, 3:47 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

new mummy

by im twinkle

i dont know if i allowed to tell what they did when they make me sit on the cold table and burned my feet

Posted on Mar 25, 2005, 3:14 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Twinkle

Yes, Twinkle, you are allowed to tell about that sweetie.

Posted on Mar 26, 2005, 9:21 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

frightened

by im twinkle

mummy im frightened

Posted on Mar 28, 2005, 10:52 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

story that true

by twinkle

once upon a time there was a little girl named jena, thats me and today is a special day for jena its her turn to wear the pretty red dress and you never know what but it goes all the way down to my toes and has a little hood on it. i know it�s a little hood because i can see my face in the mirror and you cant see the faces when it has a big hood like the black and green dresses the big people wear.im not allowed to put the dress on yet i have to wait for when mummy takes me out at bedtime because sometimes mummy do that. i seen the dress before when i peeped and secret wear it but the man he talks to secret and make me go to sleep so i know it special to wear it. see the man he does that sometimes when it�s a special day he makes everyone else go to sleep.and sometimes there is lots of different mans and ladys that take turns to make us sleep i think because not everyone listens to the same people.when it bedtime mummy take me out i go to the little room it not very pretty just white and tiny i get to wear my pretty pink dress first and have a drink it not very nice drink.mummy tell me she loves me in my pretty pink dress and i a good girl and then mummy go out of the room and i stay with richard he the man with the funny stick it funny because it has a fork on the end but you don�t eat with it and he tell me i a special girl today and i going to meet a special man who be a king that very exciting i think but you know what it wasn�t he didnt have a crown or a nice clothes on he was big and black and scary and loud and oh richard coming have to hide now i get in trouble else i finish story later

Posted on Mar 30, 2005, 9:43 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Twinkle

Hi sweetie. Would you like to tell me more about what happened? I'm listening......

Posted on Apr 5, 2005, 3:41 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Re: story that true

by im twinkle

richard he puts a star on a ribbon round my neck its bit big and i not like it and try to hide it, he get cross with me and tell me to leave it alone and it has to stay showing then he tell me not to pull that face either you know the screwed up nose one .i go to the big dark room now and some peoples have black dresses on and one has a green dress and some ladies do look very prettys like from the television. i haves to sit on the cold table i know its cold because i not wearing any panties and its making by bottom cold it has candles behind it a lot of black ones and always one white one and i can see that picture infront of me of the goat then the man in the green dress he hits the big gold circle more times than i can counts i know up to 3 and it more than that and it makes a noise and he turns round and round and points a sword at the walls hes talking away to himself then he stands infront of me with mummy on one side and i not know who on the other side and he has a drink and so does the other person but not mummy and the green man he starts talking in his funny voice he say funny words like notahoa and gono and soba

Posted on Apr 8, 2005, 6:13 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

then

by im twinkle

then he talk more and he put a black candle under my toes and waves it and says to walk left path and lots of things and then he gives candle to other person and rings the bell then he puts dirt on my hands and feet and then he puts water on my hands and feet, i not liking any of this then he gets his big sword and i think he going to chop my head of but he just poke my face by my eyes and talk about fairys and frogs and cats and dogs and things and everyone they all put their hand up in the air

Posted on Apr 10, 2005, 7:30 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

dark

by katy,5,

seek outside of them and it destroy you and whoevers you meets

must go back

safe

spider stick

needs

tummy hurts

dark

Posted on Mar 23, 2005, 3:39 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Re: dark

by im twinkle

i dont think you should have the spider stick again i tell my new mummy and she can tell you that you dont have to ok because she tell me i dont have to go back in the cage so i think you dont have to have the spider stick

Posted on Mar 30, 2005, 9:48 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

trigger. im tell the truth. its not like a happy story i see yall say trigger if its bad

i dont no u and i dont rite on bords. but u no what. i saw my bigs find this thing earleier and let the littels rite and i want yall to no befor they even think of riteing u that they r full of crap.pure crap! im 9 and my job is to be a model i take good picters. but my big shes 25.well guess what. they act so sad in theropy they act so hurt and so poor them. well they are lying.and ive had it and im telling there theropist on tusday to! no why? well i am part of them and i no the truth. im not going to let them lie no more. this cant happen. you see they liked it. it felt good and i liked daddy to love me so much. i even liked that he loved me more like awife then he did mommy. and u no what. when he told mommy that and shed hate us for that id like that to. i liked to see her in pane and hurting. no why? cuz shes a bich.u no y? cuz i HATE HER HATE HER HATE HER and i love my dad. he thinks im beautiful. he thinks im special. he loves me. hes the only one who ever love me. fuck the state and the childrens homes and the syciatric wards. they are the ones who are bad! thanks to them for runeing my life. thanks a hole lot. my daddy is gone and so are we!

Posted on Mar 11, 2005, 1:08 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi trista

I'm so glad you wrote. I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer, but I have been on vacation and just got back last night. I think you must be a very good protector to have learned how to like what happened. I know that learning to enjoy what is happening to you sure makes it a whole lot easier to do, doesn't it? I'm wondering, though, why the fact that you enjoy it means that they are lying? I'm wondering if it is possible for you to enjoy it and them still not like it? I've known other people who were many and that has sometimes been the case with them....that some of them liked it and some of them didn't. I would love to talk to you more about that and I would like to get to know you, if you want to write some more. You are welcome here any time.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 23, 2005, 7:51 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Re: trigger. im tell the truth. its not like a happy story i see yall say trigger if its bad

by im twinkle

you know what i think i think its all muddled up because i love my mummy lots and my mummy hurt me lots and i not know that what she did was hurting me i just think she love me but i think sometimes mummy and daddy forget how to love nicely and they forget you just a little girl and do grown up things that little girls not really should do and sometimes they say things that make you really believe that its a good thing to do and you know what i think now i dont have to love my mummy i dont because i dont think i real did i just did because i got told to and told that it make me a special girl but i think i be special all on my own now oh i got to go i in trouble bye bye

Posted on Mar 30, 2005, 9:56 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

to twinkle

hi twinkle im sorry u got in trobule how come u did at the end ?did ur bigs get mad at u for say that? thats what mine do. i dont like mommys nether. i do love my daddy tho. well ok im gone to go. by twinkle from trista

Posted on Apr 20, 2005, 7:26 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Re: trigger. im tell the truth. its not like a happy story i see yall say trigger if its bad

by tabitha

trigger

Posted on Sep 4, 2005, 11:33 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

How come?

Hi, my name is Whitney and this is the first time I have posted anything on here, but I just keep thinking to myself why can't I get over my past? My father was an alcohlic and so was my mother. My mother is recovered and my dad is in the process of recovering and I always think back of how bad my life use to be. And I just can't get over it even though it is way in the past. But my father has never come to the terms that he has hurt me and that he and I will never be the same again after all this has happened. But why can't I just be the bigger person and forgive him? Why can't I even just forget about all the things he has done and be over with it?

Posted on Sep 23, 2004, 5:35 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi Whitney

Welcome...I'm glad you are here. I know it is hard to get over past hurts. Growing up in an alcoholic home usually have a tremendous effect on people's internal beliefs. And then being abused also can have a huge effect as well. Have you been to therapy? Because forgiveness is a process that comes through healing, and healing takes time. Please feel free to come back here whenever you want to talk about things...you're not alone.

Terrie

Posted on Sep 24, 2004, 6:05 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Create your own forum at Network54