Memory Meadow (Moderated)

This is a safe place to talk about your memories. I've created a safe meadow where you can put the memories and let the gentle breeze quiet the pain. Many of the memories are difficult to talk about, and may be very difficult to read about, so please take gentle care of yourself.

.trigger.warning.

by .poppet.

.nikki.says.not.to.write.it.but.i.need.to.ask.someone..
.does.it.be.ok.to.be.jealous.of.someone.who.died?..
.i'm.very.jealous.of.the.brother.and.the.stepfather.because.they.both.killed.themselves.and.left.me.here.to.exist.in.this.horibleness.that.is.life..
.i.try.so.hard.to.be.good.and.quiet.but.inside.i.wish.that.i.was.dead.too.and.i'm.not.allowed.to.be.dead.because.nikki.promised.the.mother.that.we.wouldn't.be.dead.too.because.it.would.hurt.the.mother.too.much.after.the.brother.and.the.stepfather.got.dead.already..
.nikki.says.we.have.to.say.sorry.about.no.spaces.in.this.letter.but.spaces.are.scary.because.bad.things.can.be.in.spaces..
.bad.things.can.hide.in.dark.spaces..
.so.no.spaces.allowed..sorry.if.it's.hard.to.read..
.love.poppet.

Posted on Oct 31, 2003, 12:42 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Poppet

by

First of all, I want you to know that I was able to read your message just fine. As for your feelings, I think feelings are very real, and it is ok to feel feelings, as long as we know what we can and cannot do because of the feelings (such as, it is not ok to make yourself be dead just because you want to be, but you can work on trying to make this life a better life instead of a horrible life). Does that make sense? If not, feel free to ask more questions to try to understand.

Terrie

Posted on Nov 5, 2003, 1:34 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

mes scard

by jen **one of tessas**

sowry mes not meen to bofr yousis al
has anyon her loses days an weks at on tims, caus mes scard me los weks now an ovrs insid hav los days an weks
is scard caus no on membr wat hapen durin vos time
wen wil fa bigs cum bak? fa ben gon fur long long tim wich awso scar usis!!
papa say no wori but hows can we no wori, wat if somfing rely bad hapen an bigs no rond to hewp us?
so we wori and scard
sowry if wes no supose to post her, mes no meen to brak ruls or bes bad so if mes did bad mes sowry terri

hihi sam sowry bout yousis grandma, big saf hugs fur yousis and donna kks me luvs yousis sam tc ttfn
jen

Posted on Oct 30, 2003, 1:28 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi jen

by

Hi jen. Sorry I did not answer sooner...I have been busy getting married! I just want you to know that I know lots of people who have lost days and even weeks. What happens when one of you loses time is that someone else from inside is out instead. As for the bigs, I'm not sure when they will be back. How old are those of you who are able to be around? And who do you live with? You mentioned papa...who is that? Is papa a good person? I want you to know that it is ok for you to write here, ok?

Terrie

Posted on Nov 5, 2003, 1:29 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi terri

by


hihi terri,

on nov 5th yousis sen emawls to mesis and it has som qustons in it vat mesis wud no fel comfutble fur al to no kks, cun mes sen it to a privte emawls of yousis afer mesis sen it tos yous me wil get wid of yousis emawl ks fis way yousis kep yousis privtecys ks
pwease let mesis now ks fen mes can tewl yousis wifowt al ovrs knowin mes no wan awl peple to nows ks
yousis fren jen (mes hop)
mesis wil wait fur yousis answr ks
ks by bye

Posted on Nov 7, 2003, 10:42 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi jen

by

Hi there. You can write e-mail to me at terrieangellady@aol.com and you don't even have to destroy my e-mail address when you are done. You are welcome to write to me anytime.

Love forward to hearing from you,
Your friend,
Terrie

Posted on Nov 7, 2003, 10:43 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hello Terri

by



Hi Terri,

I am Tessa and I have no problem answering your questions but for privacy I asked jen to get you private email addy which after the email is sent will be destroyed, not all want there names out for all to see but they want you to know who they are and how old they are I truely hope you understand if you don't sam can help explain.
Thank
Tessa

Posted on Nov 7, 2003, 10:44 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

mes very sad

by

hi hi this be sam my granmapassed away this morning. in her seep.. mes fell very very sad... the body,s daddy phoned last week to tells us we come an say our good bys.. mes glad we did. cause her not here any more.. her with the angels an god.. mes hear that granma her not surfer.... mes is going tos miss her.. we go to see our T. on friday an that is the day we go tos court the judge her is putting grandpa on trail for all the bads him do to us.. so mes will come backs here later an tell everybody what happen tos granpas kk. so mes go now.bie bie from mes sam....

Posted on Oct 27, 2003, 7:09 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

sam

by

sam, I am so sorry about the loss of your grandma. I know that is very sad, and even though she is with the angels and God, and is not suffering anymore, that does not make you miss her any less. It is so hard to lose someone we love and care about. My thoughts are with you sam.

I look forward to hearing from you about how it goes when your grandpa goes to court on Friday. I'm sure your t will be an excellent judge and that your grandpa will be sent far away for a very very long time.

Terrie

Posted on Oct 27, 2003, 10:39 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

im so sorrys

by Alyssa (from Nikki's people)

im so sorrys that her died. thats so orful. wishh we coud do something to help. yor rite but. hers will be with the angels in heven. maybee at nite yoo can pik a speshal star in the sky and that can be her star and evry time yoo see it yoo can think of her. sorrys if thats dum. we rited a leta to our stepdaddy wen he dieded and nikki tied it to a balloonn and let it float up in the sky so maybee our stepdaddy in heven gotd the leta. that made us feel beta.
nikki seys to say good luk at your t trial cort thing.


Posted on Oct 29, 2003, 1:13 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

ty from sam

by

ty u for writing mes mes will pick a star an that stare will b for my granma. an wen mes see it mes will talk tos her... u prety smart tos think about that cause mes never thought about that. that makes mes feel beter... we gos to trial on friday....an we fine out what the judge is going tos do wif granpas ... mes will writ here tos let you all no what hapen at the trial... kk. mes thank u for writing tos me. an being my fren... mes go now bie bie from sam.....

Posted on Oct 29, 2003, 4:11 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

sowry sam

by jen n tessa

sam mes so sad yousis lose yousis granma me sen yousis tons of ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) al of ven ar saf hugs kks
Donna when your ready to talk I will hopefully be online so we can chat sorry hun about your lose it couldnt have happened at a worse time
tc ttfn

Posted on Oct 30, 2003, 12:38 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

ty terrie

by Shandra


thanks terri for clearing the confusion up
but we are not doing good at all and no one not the hubby or the t or the doctor wants to admit it may be time for further intervention
so instead of waiting for them we are going to do it ourselves, which means we won't be posting here or anywhere else not till we can feel better and stop feeling like no one cares
actions speak louder then words
Shandra


Posted on Oct 26, 2003, 2:43 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Shandra

by

Don't know if you will read this or not, but will post it anyway.

I'm sorry to hear that no one in your life is willing to admit that you are needing a bit of extra help at the moment. I'm glad that you are going to do what you need to do to take care of yourselves. I know that even though I just met you, I will miss your presence here, but will look forward to when you write again. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts. Not sure how much I'll be online myself for the next week or so, as my wedding is going to be on Saturday so I'm pretty busy, but I will check in as often as I can and if you post, I will answer as soon as it see it. I have a very trusted friend who helps me watch the boards, so she will see to it that messages are approved, as she is able (she is moving, so might be a bit of a delay on her part too). In any case, I do care, and will look forward to talking to you and yours whenever you are ready to post again.

Caringly,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 26, 2003, 10:02 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

mes scared

by

hi hi all this is sam. on friday oct. 31 our T. her is going tos be the judge an her is going tos sen granpas way if him found guilty.....mes a little scared that him is goingtos hurt mes... an him goingtos make the judge believ him ... that him not hurts us.....him not realy here just for pretend so that way all 49 of us can heal an nots be scared of him no mores..our T. her is going to hab a mock court to sen granpas way... the judge her say him b charge for everl one of us him hurt so there is 49 of us alters an the body so that make it a total of 50... so mes guess him will bes gone for a long long long times if him found guilty..... so mes will come backs an post to everybody tos let you all know what the judge did tos our granpas ok.... mes wood like tos hab some fren tos talk tos so if u wan u can emails me kk mes will check in later this week bye bye for now sam.....

Posted on Oct 25, 2003, 8:17 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

it bes k sam

by jen


sam it be kks
mes big elen say hers wil hug yousis and howd yousis tiht
but vat yousis t no sen yousis way hers sen yousis grampa way
mes gota goes way fur wile sam mes wil stil be wif yous in spirt fur va twial fouh me no no if bigs tell dona whys mes hav to go but mes hop yousis wil forgiv mes
luv jen

Posted on Oct 26, 2003, 2:46 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

tooo msuhhhh flashh ....trigr

by lisa

have to put some here fpr litle while
im having too much an is too hard to keep ...

iis heavi on shoulder......memoris .....is from oters..not alll mine.I amm the pain holdr...so i feel all the pain.....hold them and mine pains........it is for them to deel with it so i can let them go...
memoris hurt them alll....hate it....
need sumon to help...lisa

Posted on Oct 24, 2003, 8:41 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi lisa

by

I'm so sorry you are having to feel the pain...I know it must be hard being the pain holder. I hope that the others are able to deal with their memories so that you can let them go. You (and they) are welcome to write here anytime. I'm here for you.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 24, 2003, 10:11 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

spose be strong

by lisa

cant be goin to party with pain
it hurts...
memories i have a re soo bad..an they hurt..
truggr by movie...
we see a movie an ther was cops an gunz an othrs. an
hrut inside..
terie helpppp
help helpppp be ded.....

Posted on Oct 25, 2003, 7:47 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

lisa

by

I'm right here lisa. Sweetie, it's ok to not always be strong. It's ok to cry and yell and let out all the feeling of anger and fear and whatever other feelings are in there. I know it is so hard when the memories hurt so badly. I'm sorry that the movie brought back so many of the memories and feelings. Lisa, I'm here for you....feel free to keep on writing to even to call me if you want (may or may not be home, but you are welcome to try). I love you very much sweetie.

Safe hugs
Terrie

Posted on Oct 26, 2003, 9:48 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

:(

by lisa

i duno if is ok....it hurt lots..
a lot of it is my memori
i feel on body tha pain..
strange..make me feel so dirtyy
an i swer i feel feel it
going crasiii
going crasiii
need momi to hold me...:(:(

Posted on Oct 27, 2003, 10:06 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

lisa

by

I believe you that you do feel it, lisa. I'm so sorry that it makes you feel dirty, but I promise that you are not dirty. And you are not going crazy either, even though it feels that way. I love you lisa, and I'm here and would be glad to hold you nice and safe.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{lisa}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Love,
Terre

Posted on Oct 27, 2003, 10:41 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

:(

by lisa

:(:(:(

Posted on Oct 28, 2003, 9:56 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

lisa

by davey

hi lisa. im sorry you having such a hard time. since you feel the pain, can you talk to the other people and ask them to not give so many memries right now? maybe they can share with someone who wont hurt so bad from it? its hard to be having all the one emotion. i hate that too.
i give you a pretend hug? is that ok? i give you smile too. :)
davey

Posted on Oct 25, 2003, 8:14 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

davey...cant...

by lisa

tell oters to not give memories.is my job...is what i do,,,and a lot is my memoris...

i take yur hugs....is just too bad is pretand....never got one wit no pain..

ty davey

Posted on Oct 27, 2003, 10:08 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

i am really scared trigger warning flashbacks

by


hi sorry to bother anyone my name is shandra i live inside tessa
last night the hubby was watching a movie where people were getting hurt in bad ways and it triggered tons of flashbacks and we hid in the corner with a teddybear for awhile but he didn't seem to notice i guess, he didn't stop watching the movie or mute it or anything and we could hear all the bad stuff and it scared us badly and jen and a lot of us where crying really hard.
hes never done something like that before it surprised us !
sorry if i bothered anyone
shandra

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 9:15 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Shandra

by

Hey there....I'm glad you wrote. It sounds like that was awfully scary for you and some others when the husband was watching that movie. I'm so sorry that the husband did not notice how scared y'all were. I hope you are feeling better by now...has anyone talked to the husband about it and asked him why he didn't notice how upset y'all were? I hope that he will be understanding about it. Please feel free to write here anytime, ok??

Terrie

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 9:53 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Terri

by


hello Terri

yes is was very scary and the hubby saw our reaction but did not change the channel or mute it we had to just get up and leave the room one of our parts is deaf and she came out for awhile.
i must tell you something jen one of the littles is confused, she doesn't understand you post to her about posting scary memories at the other group she belongs to, she was under the impression she could do that here and get more support the littles are going through a seriously rough time and now they are confused by your post.

Thank You
Shandra

Posted on Oct 24, 2003, 12:42 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Shandra

by

I'm so sorry that I confused jen, but am glad you let me know so I can clear it up This is the board for posting the scary messages, and this is the board I was referring to. Again, thank you for letting me know of her confusion.

I hope you are feeling better,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 24, 2003, 10:08 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

mes sorrie

by

mes realy sorrie that the papa him watch scary move him shouldf of seen that u all were scared.didn,t him hear u cry... u should get a big inside tos tell papa nos do that no more cause it scare u an jen... mes no like that wen ppl watch scary movise an they no that scars u..... next tiomes u tell papa no no no kk.... thisis sam tell jen mes miss her an lub her kk... an tell papa no no no scar jen no mores kk so mes go now bie bie from sam

Posted on Oct 24, 2003, 8:08 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi sam mes sowry me tak so wong

by jen

hihi sam it mes jen mes sowry it tak mes so wong to ansr yousis, papa no car much if it scar usis litles usualy wes gos insid and becky or somon ews com owt, but papa not no fa beging of movi be vat bad
ellen towd hims vat he can no do vat wifowt cheking wif us to se if bigs awond befor watchin scary movis he say kk he wil ask firs
mes luv yousis too sam and ebryfing wil go gud cum trial days yousis judge will mak yousis grandpa go byby an kep yousis wound mes would wik to tawk wif yousis soon kks
luv jen

Posted on Oct 30, 2003, 12:36 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hello Terri

by


Hello Terri,

Sorry but I need to ask a question, one of my littles has posted here and is upset that it hasn't shown yet and I totally understand the need to keep the site safe, actually I appreciate you doing that, but she is confused and when she gets confused she is always upset.
So I thought I would write let you know that and maybe tell you a little about us?
My name is Tessa, I keep an eye on the littles when they are online so they do not get hurt. I am on in a system of 55 personalitys, we see a therapist once a week for one hour so not enough time, most of those inside are children and we have set up the teens on a teen site the adults on an adult site and we are trying to find the kids more help with an aditionall site for them since there are so many.
Donna sent me the link to this site, saying how safe it was, how sam liked it here, and jen and sam have become boyfriend and girlfriend ok.
I hope that this gives you some if not all info you need about us if not please email us at the above email addy.
Tessa

Posted on Oct 20, 2003, 2:53 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Tessa

by

Welcome! I'm so glad that you and Jen are here. You and anyone else from inside is more than welcome. I actually have several boards for various types of conversation. I wrote to Jen below and gave her the addy to the kids board, and she and any other lils are welcome there and she is welcome to share it with sam as well. The main board I have for general conversation is http://www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/45600 and I have links there to here and to a board for anger as well. If you have any questions, feel free to post them or to e-mail me anytime. I sometimes take a day or two to answer cuz I get busy, but I do answer, and I also have a friend who helps watch the boards and approves messages so that they show up.

Hope to hear from you again soon,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 22, 2003, 10:37 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi can mes cum her

by


mes nam is jen mes be 6yrs owd mes new her mes hav boyfren who awedy her his nam sam, can mes cum tawk her pweas
jen

Posted on Oct 20, 2003, 1:42 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi Jen

by

Of course you can come here and talk here. This board is for some of the scarier things that some people have to deal with, so please be careful about reading what others write so you don't get scared. But I have a few other boards that are available too, and one of them is even for kids! That one is at http://www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/45591 so feel free to stop by there anytime as well as here, ok? I'm really glad to meet you.

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 22, 2003, 10:32 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

fanku terri

by


fankus terri mes be careful, wen litles on putr ver aways bes a big wif fem ks but wes bokmarkd va ovr pag an wes hav anovr growp mes go to to ks
yousis fren jen

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 1:23 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

mes hurt bad

by

hi hi my name is sam i,m a boy you don,t know me but i,m one of donna,s inside child in her system. there is 49 of us boys an girls.when we were little our granpas hurt us bad bad. so we see a T. her is very nice tos us.our granpas him dead now but alot of times me see,s him an him still try to hurt us. so our T, her is going to hab a mock court,her be the judge an the teddies them on the jurer. an all of us r going to tell the judge what granpas did tos us. an her is going to lock him up for ever an him can no get out any more...i,m a slider 6 & 12....we lib in canada.mes scared that the judge her going tos sen mes way an not granpas...so mes no no what tos do..maybe me hab a fren that would like tos talk tos me kk... bye bye for now mes sopost tos b sleep.but mes scared tos mes think ganpas comes to get an hurt mes..mes no no were to hide to b safe...kk mes go now an hide so him no get mes...from sam

Posted on Oct 18, 2003, 9:09 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

sam no ned be frad ks

by


sam mes big tawk wif yousis big an wes awl no yousis inocnt an can no be sen away va gradpa wil be sen away wer he can no cum bac an hur yousis anymor
mesis be wif yousis in spirt wen twail day cum k.
mes luv yousis sam
fankus fur sowing mes wer to fin yous
luv jen

Hello All,
Sorry if I have barged in uninvited, but a very dear sister of mine sent me this site and we are very close, close enough that sam and jen have fallen in love.
My name is Tessa I am one of 55 personalitys within one persons system, I hope you will allow us to stay we not only ask for help but give it when we can.
tc ttfn
Tessa

P.S. hello Donna :-)

Posted on Oct 19, 2003, 7:27 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hii

by Pat

hi sam
im pat am 10....
im glad yu writed here...
i think yut brave to go to court and tell bout yur granpa. he hav no rites to hurt yu...is good he go to be away
the juge wont punish yu..only yur granpa
yu do nothing bAD he do it

hey gues wat i live in canada too...is kewl huh?

by pat

we can be frinds yu lknow

Posted on Oct 19, 2003, 8:08 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi

by

hihi pat thank u for writing mes mes glad u wan tos b my fren. mes scared cause we go tos trial next fridays.just for pretend cause granpas realy dead. so our t her be judge an her is going tos sen granpas way cause him is very very bads,him dos bad things tos all of us we hab 49 of us inside the body her name is donna her is 46 her is our mommy an her is very good tos all of us. so if u want u can sen mes email to mes at me addy kk mes go now bie bie sam

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 3:19 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi sam

by elijah (from Nikki's people)

hihi sam me beess frm nikkis peepl an i jus wana say that u tel dem t judge da trooth an den u no get in trubl an u no get locked up just de bad granpa get lockd up so he no get u no mor. u mite eben feel beta wen u tel t woat hapened. it bees k to bees skard. me bees skard 2 sumtims.

u is a soldier? wow thats way kool i luv soldiers i even gots a toy wun sumwher.

we thiinks you bees beri brave.

elijah

Posted on Oct 21, 2003, 9:34 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi

by

hihi thank u for writing mes mes feel a little beter now that u writ mes mes wood like tos b your fren if that ok...we gosto trail next friday, mes a little scared cause mes no no what the T, judge her going tos do mes hope her not sen us way,,,cause if her dos then me no see my mommy an daddy no more. kk bye bye maybe u can sen mes email an we can talks kk . from sam

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 3:25 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi sam

by

Hi there. I'm so glad you wrote! It sounds like your t is a very good t, and I really like the creative way she is helping you to talk about what your grandpa did, and then locking him up. You don't have to worry about her locking you up, though, cuz you didn't do anything wrong. And you know, even if you did do some things wrong, you are a kid and all kids do some things wrong until they learn to do those things right. So even that does not make you bad, ok? And it's ok to be scared, too, because you can only be brave if you are scared....cuz you see, being brave is doing something that is good for you or someone else, even though you are scared. So I think you have been brave already by writing here, and when you are ready to talk to the t you will be brave again. Please feel free to write here anytime, and I would love to hear about how the mock court goes.

Terrie

Posted on Oct 22, 2003, 10:29 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

hihi

by

hihi terrie this is sam thank u for writing tos mes mes thought no one wants to talk tos mes...we go to trail next friday oct...31, mes hope our t the judge her no sens mes way an her just sen granpas way.mes a little scared cause mes no no what the judge going tos do... our t her is very nice tos us all an her talks to us all the time wen we go an see her on friday...my granpas him tie mes up u no an him put his big umm big snake insides mes an him hab sex with mes mes had tos tell him mes like it an want more... mes were not aloud to cry him say its not aloud. him told mes why him do that cause him lubs mes mes no no about that.. so if u wan an if its kk can mes come backs an talk tos u. bye bye from sam

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 3:33 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi sam

by

I'm so glad to hear from you again. I think you are so brave to write here. I'm sorry that your granpa did such awful things to you, but I know it is not your fault, and I am sure your t knows that too, and so the judge will definately only send your granpa away and not you. You are welcome to write here any time you want....this and with your t are just the right places to talk about those awful things that your granpa did, so that you don't have to carry all those memories around inside anymore. I'm glad you are here sam.

Terrie

Posted on Oct 23, 2003, 9:41 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

no like it......bad

by lisa

i no like badmemory
is nbak
an hate it and
cant no contorl
an kkep tinking ishapining
i not is not but is haping in head
i skar
i alont
iwant am umi
i want a mumy
i nothave momy
is because i bad ...
i no i bad...
i sorry i bad,,,,,,

Posted on Oct 18, 2003, 8:39 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

lisa

by

sweetie, you are not bad. I'm sorry that the memories are so scary for you. I know it is hard when it feels like it is happening. You are safe now though, ok? It's ok to keep writing here, and even to write out the memories if you want to. I'm here for you lisa, so you are not alone. I love you.

Safe hugs if you want them,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 22, 2003, 10:20 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

skard

by chelsea (from nikki's people)

mi an bethie bs beri skard an beri lonli coz ebri persen bs bad an dem no bs saf an dem do yel at us lowd an skari an we wona hid an bs go wa 4eva bethie bs rieeli skard an mi tri 2 mak it bs beta but it bs not beta 4 hers
ho kin i mak it bs beta an not bs skari 4 mi bethie i duo luvs hers sososo mushc an i no won hers 2 bs skard no mor coz hers bs speshul
luv chelsea
terrieee u no bs skari u no yel lowd u bs saf mi wihs u bs hir 4 reel luv chelsea an bethie abit

Posted on Oct 12, 2003, 5:54 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hi there

by

Hi chelsea, and bethie too. I'm so sorry that so many people are so scary and yell, cuz I know I sure don't like being yelled at either. It sure doesn't feel good at all being yelled at, huh? Who is it in your life that is still yelling at you all? Or is a lot of the yelling inside? One thing that might help it not be so scary is to get some headphones with pretty music and listen to them instead of the yelling. It might be inside headphones and inside music, or it might be on the outside. Or, if it's on the inside, maybe you can even listen to a nice soft calm gentle voice on the headphones saying things like "You are safe now. You are a good girl. You're going to be ok." Let me know if any of that helps. And please know that I'm so glad that you feel safe with me. I think you are such a sweet girl and I think it would be wonderful to be able to spend time with you for real.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 13, 2003, 6:27 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Re: skard

by angie

chelsea frin
bethie hi
me pomis no yeln
me jus frin
angie sar jeli bens
chelsea an bethie
jus sar jeli bens
an b saf
no yeln
no skry
sar angie saf blanky
angie

Posted on Oct 14, 2003, 1:22 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

angie

by

You are such a good friend. Thank you for being there for chelsea and bethie.

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Oct 14, 2003, 11:07 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

tank u

by chelsea

tanku angie fren u bs dem bestes fren mi luv m jeli bens an sof blanki taknu los luv chelsea

Posted on Oct 15, 2003, 11:22 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

To the person posing as me

by

I very much do not appreciate your posts on my message forums. You say that we are the same and that you are trying to help me out, but I have been running these forums (quite effectively, thank you) for many years now. I would appreciate it very much if you would choose to leave these forums alone, as you are not welcome to post.

Terrie

Posted on Sep 29, 2003, 2:12 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

About the Forum

by

Our spammer has returned once again, and in an effort to keep this board safe, I now have set it up so that all messages need to be approved before showing up. If all stays quiet for a while I will try the open forum again and see how it goes, but I will not tolerate this spammer and will put it back on moderated again if necessary in order to keep you all SAFE. Sorry for the inconvenience everyone....

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 29, 2003, 2:10 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

!!!!

by Watcher

Building my wall higher and stronger. Nobody will ever ever touch me again. Love and caring are all a fake. If you aren't perfect then you are beaten and thrown out like garbage.

Posted on Sep 25, 2003, 8:43 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Hey Watcher

by

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been hurt again...I know that is frustrating and just really hurts so deeply. If you don't mind my asking, can you tell me what happened? If not, I understand, and it's ok. I just want you to know that I'm here for you and that I support you and am thinking about you.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 26, 2003, 5:45 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

I have lost everything.

by Watcher

There is no firm ground. I tried to overcome the past by working hard and changing things but it isn't possible for me. I am jinxed or something.



Posted on Sep 27, 2003, 7:04 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

understand

by Nikki (from Nikki's people)

I don't know what to say to help, but I can say that I totally understand. I feel the exact same way. I'm sorry.

Nikki

Posted on Sep 27, 2003, 9:45 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

thanks nikki

by watcher

sometimes understanding really helps even if thats all there is.

Posted on Sep 28, 2003, 9:26 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

If I might ask....

by

What things have you tried to work hard on and change?

Not sure if I can help or not, but if I have any input I will be glad to offer it to you....

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 28, 2003, 8:28 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

I did this

by watcher

I fought my way out of bad situations from my youth by studying hard and getting a good job. I saved, I bought wisely, I invested in property. I don't have a lot, but I had "enough". I had finally reached a point where I felt sorta safe.

The economy failing has impacted me financially and I have lost my job. I was also robbed for a good amount and now my property value is jepordized because developments have moved in next door. My property value dropped 60% overnight. Put that together with loosing my job and some other things and now the fear is back again.

I am on shakey ground again and try as I might I can't see a single way out.

Posted on Sep 28, 2003, 9:31 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Watcher

by

It sounds like you have done a lot of good work. I'm so sorry that the economy has impacted you so heavily, even leading to the loss of your job and additional financial burdens. I know that finances are not always easy, even when you do all the right stuff. When things crash financially, it does take time and more work to get back on your feet. It's no wonder you are on shakey ground. Can you tell me what the fear is? Is it fear that you will not be able to provide for yourself? Fear of loss of control? or some other fear? Perhaps we can talk about where the fear stems from internally (now that I know the external situation) and see if we can process some of it or something. Because if you can re-establish some more confidence, it will make it easier to work toward a solution (maybe not the ideal solution, but a solution none-the-less)....

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 29, 2003, 6:49 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

this is getting too personal now

by watcher

thanks for your concern.

Posted on Sep 30, 2003, 3:14 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Ok.

by

I understand about it being too personal. If you would like to e-mail me to talk more, you are welcome to, but that is up to you. I know that sometimes even that is too much cuz sometimes one just isn't up to talking about things. But the offer is there if you wish to take me up on it.

Hope you are doing ok,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 30, 2003, 11:00 PM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

2 years ***trigger warning***

by Nikki (from Nikki's people)

It's been 2 years today (september 19th) since our brother took his own life. he did it at home and we found him. i remember it like it was yesterday. it's all so clear. then the police came and the ambulance but they were too late and he was already gone and they even put him in a yellow body bag and they had trouble getting him down the stairs because our staircase is really narrow and i'm sorry i shouldn't have said this but i can't khelp it sorry

Posted on Sep 19, 2003, 3:00 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Nikki

by

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I can somewhat relate to it because I just found my roommate (not my partner, but my other roommate) passed away earlier this week, and I can still see the pictures in my head. Fortunately, she did not take her own life, nor was it someone I was related to, but it still is something that stays in my mind, so I can somewhat understand how it is for you. I hope you feel better soon, and are able to deal with the feelings this all brings up for you.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 20, 2003, 1:22 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

About awful posts

by

Hi everyone. I'm so sorry about those awful posts by someone posing as me. I have deleted them. I must say I am confused, because they were written on an ISP shared by me, Hope, and Soranyi, and I know none of us would write such awful things. In any case, Thank you to Katy for letting everyone know that it was not me, and for alerting me to the problem so I could fix it.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 12, 2003, 8:30 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

re:Terries replies

by Katy

Terrie always writes with BLUE in her name, I don't think these are Terries replies,just some idiot stirring up trouble.

Posted on Sep 12, 2003, 1:53 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

or

by katy

Terrie always has her email address linked to her name

Posted on Sep 12, 2003, 1:55 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

orgasm

by

My wife who is 38 was raped a year ago and we have both had counselling! I found out recently that she had an orgasm during the rape something she has not told her counsellor! I am also having great difficulty coming to terms with that! Is this common??Is this perhaps her secret fantasy??
Pluto

Posted on Sep 11, 2003, 4:13 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Pluto

by

I'm glad you have decided to seek an answer to your question. It is actually quite common for a woman to have an orgasm while being raped. The body is made to respond to sexual stimulation, and does not differentiate wanted stimulation from forced stimulation. Many women who have orgasms during abuse or rape feel like their body has betrayed them, but in reality, their body has only responded in the way it is hard-wired to respond to sexual stimulation. Having an orgasm during rape does NOT mean that the woman enjoyed the experience, or that she wanted it to happen. It simply means that her body responds to sexual stimulation in the way it was created to do. I hope this helps you in your understanding, and you are welcome to share it with your wife as well if you wish, because it can actually be quite difficult for a rape victim to come to terms with this aspect of it.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 11, 2003, 7:39 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

*trigger warning* sorry

by *shelly* from nikki's people

sorry
i can feel them
i can see them
i can feel what they do
im so scared
please make it stop
i hate this
i can see his eyes and feel their hands
i hate it
im sorry this is bad
im bad
i shouldnt write here but i dont know what to do
im sorry
me bad

*shelly*

Posted on Sep 10, 2003, 6:20 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

shelly

by

shelly, you don't have to feel bad about writing here...that is what this board is for. I know it is hard when you are actually re-experiencing things. Try to focus on being in the here and now, shelly. stap your feet on the floor...put an ice cube or something cold on your arm...remind yourself that you are safe now and that he is not there. I hope you feel better soon, but we're here if you need anyone.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 10, 2003, 7:32 AM

Respond to this message

Return to Index

Create your own forum at Network54
 Copyright © 1999-2009 Network54. All rights reserved.   Terms of Use   Privacy Statement