That's right, darlin' Deanie, gotta ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive!

Mothers who eat their young?! Suicide Drivers!? Darlin', what kinda crowd you been hangin' with!? Know what you need?! New friends!!! No wonder you had a rough weekend, by the sound of it. Hope you're doin' fine, now. If it was up to me, you'd be pullin' outta that Fast Lane you been cruisin' in, and parkin' down Lover's Lane with me, baby. I promise that this sexy beast'd be a perfect gennelman, too, takin' it slow and easy with my girl. Why, I wouldn't so much as nibble a delectidbit ear, 'lessen you hollared the magic words, "Bone Appetite!"

Oh, darlin', just writin' the words is gettin' me hot under the collar. Men are so visual, ya know? 'Course, I know it's not up to me, but if it was... bet you know 'xactly what I'm thinkin'...So, before you have me arrested, or served with one of them silly 50-yards-away subpoenas, just want you to know that you've got a friend, and better yet, a rain-check for that drive down the lane, lover.

Rain or shine, it's always wonderful hearin' from you, Deanie, and knowin' you're doin' OK, or even better than OK, in this crazy mixed-up world. Personally, I feel you've improved it considerably just by bein' in it. That's right darlin', you're my very own "sine qua non," actually, my "Deanie qua non," without which I'd be all alone without a friend. Now, don't you worry your pretty head over me one lil'bit. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself. I'll never follow my dad's flight plan, not without a parachute anyways, and I'm too scared of heights for that. The closest I intend to get to fallin' will be Niagra Falls with you, baby, 'cuz you've got me over a barrel.

When you're upbeat, I'm upbeat, too. Frankly, I had a perfectly hideous holiday, too. There were bombs burstin' in air, rockets, fireworks, the fire department even. Hope no kids try it at home, 'cuz it's the very last time I'll be reheatin' old foil-wrapped take-out in the micro-wave. Wave good-by to that oven! Still, I wanna wish you a very happy, tho' belated 4th of July. Havin' already offended the Catlicks 'n Canucks, I shall now turn my attentions toward outragin' the 'Publick'ems and Democraps. Can't say I'm not bi-parmesan, but we'll get to the sexual preferences later, darlin'...

Jose, can you see?
If not, get glasses!
By the dawn's early light
And pay the 'lectric bill!
What so proudly we hail'd
See, even Francis Scott shortens words!
At the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
Those stars and stripes better go the right way
Or you'll look as big as a house!
Thro' the perilous fight
Couldn't have shortened it better myself!
O'er the ramparts we watch'd
UN observers, perhaps?
Were so gallantly streaming?
No, USO entertainers!!
And the rockets' red glare
Whattaya mean ROCKETS!?
The bombs bursting in air
That's it!! I'm no Bob Hope
This'll be my LAST tour!!!
Gave proof thro' the night
That our flag was still there
I was even more relieved to find
That my ass was still there!!!!
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
Yup, miracles do happen, proof-positive
O'er the land of the free
Let freedom ring
And the home of the brave?
There's no place like home!
Good bless America!
Good bless you, baby!

Don't feel bad 'bout missin' the show, darlin'. I have a feelin' whenever we're together, there'll be plenty of fireworks...

XO
Bud