Findin' Yer Inner Duck, Deanie

Awwwww, Deanie baby, ya oughta be a whole lot more careful 'bout what yer offerin' up. 'Nother man'd be mighty tempted to take full advantage of such a sweet, tasty, lil'morsel such as yerself. Hells-bells gal, I'm mighty tempted ta take advantage, so it'sa good thang my gennellmanly impulses will out...Light side, dark side, dark side, light side, dark side, light side, light side, LIGHT SIDE!!! Phew!!! That wuzza close one!! Down, devil boy, down!! Stop rearin' yer ugly head!! Thar's no hornin' in on my sweet, lil'Deanie action. Jest git down 'n stay down, ya dirty, low-down varmint!!!

Lucky fer you, Deanie darlin', that I've been 'round 'n 'round the block more times than ya kin shake a stick at. Being a man of the world, or at least of the block, I understan' how easy it is to say thangs in the dark of the Blue Hotel - Can't anyone 'ford to replace a dang light-bulb 'round here!? - that ya might be afeered to say when facin' me in all my beer-bellied, cob-toothed, red-necked, bow-legged, male-pulchritudinous-glory. Don'tcha worry, honey, ya wouldn't be the first gal to look 'pon ol'Bud widda snoot fulla distain, but lemme assure ya that the double-wide's nearly paid fer 'an that says a lot!!!!

Jest wantcha ta know I ain't holdin' ya to anythang, even tho there's plenny of thangs I'd love ta be holdin' ya to...Down boy, I said, DOWN!!! 'Til we gits this "Core a Mystery" business worked out, yer a free agent, gal. Lovin' ya as I do, I'll be takin' thangs widda grain a salt 'n tossin' it ore my shoulder fer good luck.

Which 'minds me, Teacher, I gotta word fer you!!! OK, whattsa "Turducken?" Here'a clue: It's kinna like a core a mystery, in the sense a being a mystery inside a riddle inside an enigma, or else like a collection of cute lil'Russian dolls...Give up? Ya CAN'T give up, yer the teacher!!! Good luck!!!

Which also 'minds me, I jest heard an ol'Elvis song which reminded me a you, you, you!!! Can ya guess which one, Teacher, fer extry credit? Nope, t'weren't "Anyplace is Paradise When I'm With You,"...so true, but not the song..."Love Me Tender"... I wish, but not the song..."I'll Never Let You Go"...nope, never, but not the song..."Gimmie the Right"...yup, right on the chin, but not the song..."Anyway You Want Me"...'at's right, baby anyway, but not the song..."I'm Yers"...true, true, true, but not the song..."Hard Headed Woman"...Ha! lil'joke, please disregard..."Can't Help Fallin' In Love"...don't need no help lovin' you, sugar, but 'fraid it's not the song..."A Big Hunk O'Love" ...all fer you, darlin', but dang, still not the song...

Don't want a four leaf clover
Don't want an old horse shoe
Want your kiss 'cuz I just can't miss
With a good luck charm like you

'At's It!

Come on and be my lil'good luck charm
Un-huh huh, you sweet delight
I wanna good luck charm a-hangin' on my arm
To have, to hold, tonight

I wish!

If I found a lucky penny
I'd toss it 'cross the bay
Your love is worth
All the gold on earth
No wonder that I say

An' I say it again!

Come on an' be my lil'good luck charm
Un-huh huh, you sweet delight
I wanna good luck charm a-hangin' on my arm
To have, to hold, tonight

'An every nite!!!

Good-nite, you lil'charmer you
'N sweet dreams!!!

XO
Bud