Hay's fer Horses, Deanie!

Ya looks absolutely 'dorable with all that straw stickin' outta yer hair 'n blouse, Deanie darlin'. Ya gotta strange way a paddin' yer bra but it works fer ya, girl. Jest steer clear a' the pitchfolk, honey. Ya makes a much better Daisy Dukes than that thar Jessica Simpson skinny-minnie ever could! Fer one thang, yer accent's a whole lot better! Hope ya don't mind, but while ya wuz gone, I saw the most fantastical cheap-seat matinee imaginable. Wish ya could been thar. I woulda boughtcha all the popcorn yer lil'heart desired. Milk duds 'n bon bons, too. The sky's the limit at the candy counter, whar my Deanie's concerned.

The movies were "The Dukes a Hazzard" with "It's a Dirty Shame!" Talk about the double bill from hog heaven! I purty near split a gut a' laughin' my can off! They wuz absolute genius! An' the actin'! Oscar Meyer quality all the way, if'n ya ask me! My fav'rite line from "The Dukes" wuz, "Please, dontcha go callin' us 'hillbillies,' we purfur ta be known as 'Appalachian Americans!' Hahahahahah! An' "Dirty Shame" was jest chock fulla great lines like, "Hey, this here ain't California!" 'n "I ain't no prude, I married an Eye'talian!" Hahahahahahha! Gonna hear it from the Appalachians, Californians 'n Eye'talians, but it'll be worth it!

Now that I'm finished with the movie reviews, jest wantcha ta know how wunnaful it was a' hearin' from ya agin, Deanie darlin'. Please doncha worry 'bout that tellyphone number none. When yer ready ta volverme, I'll hitch up the crop-duster 'n write it 'cross the sky in fertilizer. 'Lessen ya git a terrible crick in yer neck, all yule haveta do is look up. If'n ya can't look up, I'll jest land on yer lawn, swoop ya up in my powerful arms 'n sail off with ya, inta the wile blue yonder.

I 'pologize if'n I made ya worry when I talked about ya bein' a free agent, Darlin'. I wasn't a meanin' ta cut ya loose or anythang. Jeeze Louise...Jest the opposite as a matter a fact. I keep fergittin' whatta fine line it kin be 'tween holdin' tight 'n lettin' go, 'tween havin' faith 'n not carin'....'n I gotta remember that some fillies like a tight rein ta give'em direction 'n let'em know who's boss, even a bit a' spur, tho'those are the kinky ones...jest jokin' darlin'! Fer myself, I believe in a light touch 'n gentle hand, tho' I know that some have been traumatized by rough treatment so's all they know or expect is rough treatment. Ya oughta know me well enough by now, darlin', ta see that jest ain't my style. I wantcha ta love me, not fear me, ta trust me 'n feel my caress with every look, 'a fore I ever git 'round ta touchin' ya, 'tho I assure ya I will git 'round ta touchin' ya...

In other words, darlin', yer a free agent 'til yer no longer a free agent. I won't fence ya in, til' I fence ya in....with me...

Oh, give us land, lots of land under starry skies above
Don't fence us in - lessen it's together
Let me ride through the wide open country that we love
Don't fence us in - lessen it's together
Let us be by ourselves in the evenin' breeze
Listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send us off forever but I ask you please
Don't fence us in - lessen it's together

Jest turn us loose, let us straddle our ol'saddles
Underneath the western skies
On our cayuses, let us wander over yonder
Till we see the mountains rise

We want to ride oto the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon till we lose our senses
And we can't look at hovels and we can't stand fences
Don't fence us in - lessen it's together
Then you kin use cyclone 'lectric fencin'
Wid 6 feet a razor wire, please!

XO
Bud