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A reply

June 4 2002 at 3:34 PM
  (Login Dr_Douglass)
from IP address

Response to Destruction and Creation


I was not trying to imply that A B and C are not important. I think I dropped the ball. Damn my lack of communications skills.

I was trying to imply that some times, placing things in text book style aplications fails to make the true point. A B and C is some times to cold, to sterile to really hit home and be digested.

Like your brief look into the WTC in your last post. That's far more likely to hit home and stick for some people than the ABCs being tossed around. ABCs only lead to alphabet soup in the long run for most folks. A confusing jumble of words to sit down and degest. But real life examples often do far more to convey the point.

People are so busy looking for the forrest and the trees that most of the times they miss the ecology, the life contained therein. Forrests and trees are nice, but, some times tis far better to see the squirrels once in a while. Or to lift that rock and find the hidden salamanders. The simple bits that most people miss.

As for my wife, she really is better off now. Even her family thinks she is doing better now than she ever was on medication. The environment has changed, and, it is much safer for her to be her true self. My property is large, and, quite secure. She can go off and chase butterflies and bugs with out the fear of running her self into a bad spot with people who do not understand her. She can run down and run through the creek and track mud through the house with no fear of consequences. She is very much an adult at times, but, there are moments when she has the reasoning capasity of a small child. In the outside world, not paying attention to things like tracking mud through the house as an adult can be fickle. Or going to into somebody else's yard and checking out the animals. People, well, adults seem to fail to understand how what looks to be a grown woman could be so careless or immature or however the fools wish to look at it. Or they fail to understand how or why somebody might forget to put clothes on. (Yeah... these are real issues to deal with) There is a total failure to understand that some times, with her condition, you become so focused on doing something that you neglect to do the responsible bits first. She might fly out of bed and instead of getting dressed, drinking coffee, and eating breakfast like a normal adult, she only has one thing on her mind. She must go out and see the animals or go down to the creek, or go check out the bird houses or any of the other million things that race through her mind at light speed. She has an honest fear that she might be missing something INTERESTING. She gets down right freaked out if she thinks that something special might happen like tadpoles hatching or something and she might miss it. It drives her bonkers. That is her driving motivation. In her mind, this leaves no room for the baggage of what normal responsible adults might do. Life is a thing to be lived for her, not something to be simply existing in. Do I understand all of it? Well no. I wont lie. I have no idea what goes on between her ears most of the time, and, rather than talking about it with me, she would rather go do something interesting. So I am forced to trust that she has at least a little common sense before full acceleration into bumble bee mode. (Zip around at nearly the speed of sound and check out everything) I have to trust in her promise to me that snakes are not "interesting" and should not be played with or handled, and they are something I am far more suited to deal with. I am forced to trust in her one encounter with said snake was enough to teach her a lesson that even with her simple mind that she does not forget. (She got bit by a copper. Made her very ill. Only got one fang in her. She wanted to pick it up and look at the "pretty" skin)

I realize these are not common trust situations for most folks, these are rather odd circumstances (Well when dealing with adults anyways. Any parents reading this might feel the same way about their own children perhaps.)

I know one thing I trust however. And that is my love. I can't see my self loving any body else. When I see her streaking by stark raving naked, covered from head to toe in the red clay mud that is the dirt of the South, seeing what a free creature she is, (No, it's not about about the nudity you sickos) I see what more people should be. Most women I know would just die if they did so much as chip a nail much less being slathered in mud. She lives entirely in the moment and inspires me that there is still some good in the world. Pure simple goodness, with out any complications. She has reignited my faith in God, seeing what the faith of a child really is from her actions. When she comes running into the house with her nose swollen up to the size of an egg because she got stung by a bee when she recklessly stuck her head into a flower patch with out checking for danger first, I am reminded of the real risks of life as I go and get the meat tenderizer and the hydrocortizone cream.

I trust in these things because they are the real source of the Salvation of my Soul. Christ might have saved me, but, it was my wife made me realize what salvation really is. She has saved me from my self.

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