This is terribly embarassing, hence, a good laugh for all of you, a biting painful wound to my pride for me.
My wife and I, we play pranks on each other. It's one of those quirky romantic sorts of things that people do. I have done horrible things like replace the creamy middle of her Oreos with toothpaste, etc, nothing to terribly mean spirited, just harmless stuff.
The other night, I feel asleep in my old lazyboy recliner. I do this quite often, as the lumbar support is good and takes pressure off of my aching back. It's getting harder to sleep in the bed. My wife usually wraps a blanket around me, and, I have become so used to it that I seldom wake up now. Curse her....
Anyhow, I woke up the other morning, and, realized there was something not quite right. For one thing, I was wearing a cheezy head dress, you know, like some crumby Indian Chief in the movies would wear... Nothing dignified I assure you. I was wrapped up in my blanket, arms over my chest, and wearing some goofy looking head dress. With red, white, and blue feathers. As I slowly focused reality, I knew for certain, that I had Been Had. Beside me, on the table, there was a polaroid picture. The picture was of me... Wearing the head dress, and, with black and red war paint smeared on my face. (She had broken out her finger paints just for the occasion it seems... Me oh my aint she clever) My hand woven Navajo blanket wrapped around my shoulders, my arms crossed over my chest, and me slumped in my recliner. And written on the bottom... "Great Chief Shitting Bear."
That was mighty low... Taking advantage of racial stereotypes. I desire revenge, and, am currently cooking up something (I hope) to get even.
I hope my humiliation provided you with a day's worth of laughter, and, any ideas on revenge would be welcome.
Fill the first third of the toe of each shoe with shaving cream. When she pushes her foot in, she might get a surprise explosion. Harmless fun.
Replacing face powder with chalk, or bath power with chalk, is sort of harmless, as just getting back in the shower washes it off, but depending on where it is applied, could be seen as an escalation.
A glass of white wine vinegar, with three or four ice cubes, presented as a glass of ice water . . . but now we are getting into nasty. Which I would not do to my wife, so I doubt you would do it to yours.
Then again, in re the Shitting Bear, you can provide Ex Lax candies . . . but that too is rather nasty.
I have in my arsenal, among other things, a canister of squirrel pheromones. It was purchased to keep squirrels away from my bird feeders. One little squirt on a tree or a stump someplace has the squirrels gathering around looking for sex, and, away from the bird feeders.
I am pondering the option of placing a tiny squirt into my wife's shampoo.
Edited for mispelling errors.
This message has been edited by Dr_Douglass from IP address 188.8.131.52 on Mar 27, 2003 9:43 AM
...imagine if one of those little squirts has a little squirt in your wife's hair...
If she wears pants, find a pair she plans to wear in the recent future and squirt the lower bottom of them with the phermones...if not pants, then some shoes...imagines having squirrels acting like a dog....
Be sure that you wife has her tetnus (sp?) and other shots to boost her immune system since I highly doubt she'd get away from either shampoo or pants being squirted without scratches and/or bites from squirrels. I don't know what diseases they might carry (other than rabies possibly), but I'd hate for a prank like taking a picture of you to turn into her getting some infection and requiring a doctor.