I find it hard to write words at this hour of the eve... All about me sleep, though I still stir restless. For the reason, may be warrented by the news that has come to my ear and not theirs.. Only mere hours passed since M'lord chose to meet with I in secret council.. His words though broken brought forth both promise and fear within thy.. Words he nor I ever wished spoke.. I, for a moment felt him mad, perhaps driven to this coarse by another.. Such temptious thoughts even break the hardest of cores of a heart at times.. Still, a dying mans wishes I shall see forth.. I know not how I shall tell the others, other then by means instructed. Some shall know more then others.. Tis nae fair.. However, tis what must be done to keep such a secret to thy grave..
I find such humor in the mind however, with the gravest of news still pending on my mind, it finds ways to flush it out. I find myself looking foward, at what maybe and not the present, at what shall be.. The times and trials I and others have endured, both seperate and together. The strength one finds in unity and alone. Mine father would be proud of the pains I've endured and scornful at such status I've chosen at this moment. With no other words, I care not. Tis the placement in life I've chosen. Matter not, if I sit aside him within the ranks of our Redcap brethren or a lowly thieves guild. I've found a place in life and shall serve to my grandest.. Still, I do feel an emptiness within part of me.. I write now what I never spoke.. For soon we shall be moving, and times to write such as now will be fleeting at best.. Mere scribbled words never to match the impact this one entry shall hold..
I wish I bore a love that drives M'lord toward this unsettling madness.. He sits stirred each night.. Only to craddle the love he lost by his own bitter tongue and hand alike.. What daggers of pain plague him none WILLING could ever heal.. The power resides within one to warrent him peace before his death.. A peace he knows will never see.. I questioned not why he took the child. For once the greatness of his light outshadowed the haunting darkness.. Tis be sad to watch it fade shortly from this world. Once more, I wish not to interfere in his aspirations.. Only to stand fast at his side upon beckoning call and fight if need be.. There is no debt of gratitude I can cast to ever repay such a man for what he hath give me..
I wish silent prayers over my company.. Wishing the best for them after thy word of M'lord is cast.. I do hope to see them once more.. Within the brilliant light of that grand castle miles from the shaded halls of the Vallenwoods around this den.. Or within the light air of our Gods daylight. Basking in meery praise and dance.. I do hope such visions are what shall come.. Only fate and destiny shall show forth... With the dying of this candle before me and the smoltering of light, my words fall short.. Time fades ever so quickly.. Time I only wish I had once more.. May the light shine over us.. Even when we seem our darkest.. Protect us.. and save our souls...
