| Original Message |
JusSonic (no login)
Posted Apr 15, 2009 3:50 PM
They watched as the car approached. Then, he smiled, standing up from his seat.
McBean: My friends, I have seen they've been treating you mean. My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean. I know presicely why you're unhappy and that I can fix that; I'm the fix-it-up chappie.
Max: Boy that sounds a bit weird than when someone say 'Skarr'.
Jack: (sticks his tongue) Pphhhpptt.
Rika slaps Jack in annoyance.
Rika: Not here!
Jack: Ouch!
Geek: Did you guys hear something?
Most of the group: No.
He then pulled a lever, making the car part raise up. It turned as a box with a tube landed. Then, came many parts automatically before it was set up. Finally, a sign saying "McBean's Star On Machine" was seen as he set a stand.
McBean: I've come here to help you; I have what you need. My prices are low, and I work with great speed, and my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed.
He pulled out the contract, letting the others read it.
McBean: By my new patent proccess of polarpotoxis of the inner subnuclear noose bomb nogoxis, (points to a Sneetch) you'll get a star like the Star-bellied Sneetch for the mere payment of uh (points to a sign) $3.00 each.
Plain Bellied Member: (grins) A star? (points to his belly) Here?
McBean: Yes, my friend, there. And the first to go through gets the trip at half fare.
Mr. Stubborn: Oh, he is obviously screwing them! You can't put stars on bellies!
Mina: Never stop Hollywood.
McBean was given the money by the first Sneetch.
McBean: Thank you.
Then, he was given the money by the other plain bellied ones.
McBean: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Quickly and swiftly, the Sneetches with no stars went inside. The machine went to work as it bonked, clonked, jerked, berked, and bopped them around before they finally came out of the machine. To their delight, they smiled, noticing the stars in their bellies.
Plain Bellied Sneetch: It works!
Sneetches: Yeah! It works! It works!
Swiper: Well, Mr. Stubborn?
Mr. Stubborn: Painted on! Just painted on!
Hope: I got a bad feeling something bad is going to end up here.
Lorne: Nice job!
Max: (annoyed) How did you get here?!
Lorne: (confused) Am I here? I got lost.
Mr. Rude: Then go back to the jungle and get lost again!
To the star bellied Sneetches' surprise, they gasped, noticing the stars on the former plain ones.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) Them over there, they got stars upon thars
And we over here, we got stars upon ours
We got 'em also, we got 'em too
The true star ones looked shocked and surprised at the smug looking Sneetches.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) We're every little bitty bit as good good as you
One new star bellied child smirked to them, holding a marshmellow on his stick.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) Now we're socially acceptable at marshmallow toasts
You'll have to send us invitations to your frankfurter parties!
They walked happily and passed the true star bellied ones.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) Stars, stars, bless our lucky stars
All the Sneetches on the beaches not got stars upon thars!
However, the ones with real stars looked unimpressed.
Kyle: Dude, they shouldn't be smug like that! That's what made that stupid smug crap back at South Park...
Stan: (annoyed) And those dumbasses I call my parents and other town folk made me to help out destroy those stupid cars! It's their own fault!
At a meeting, the true star bellied sneetches had a meeting in the cave as the leader tapped his stick for attention.
Star Bellied Leader: Ladies and gentlemen, we are faced with a most awkward dilemma. We're the true star-bellies, we had them first! We're still the best Sneetches and they're still the worst!
Star Bellied Sneetches: Yeah!
Star Bellied Member: But how're we going to prove it? Which is which? I can't tell us apart.
Just then, a familiar figure pushed through the crowd.
McBean: Let me through. Excuse me. Step aside, please. Thank you.
He then got on the stand, looking at the true star bellied ones.
McBean: You don't know me, my friends, but calm down if you can. I'm here to help the original Star-Belly clan. (points outside) Those upstarts, it's true, now have stars just like you. But follow me, my friends and you know what I'll do? I'll make you again the best Sneetches on beaches, and all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.
With that, they followed him. On a part of a beach, the sly man looked at the star bellied ones.
McBean: Belly stars, my dear friends, are no longer in style, and I'll have yours off in a very short while in my wondrous machine which eradicates stars.
He then pointed to a huge green machine with the sign saying "Star Off Machine".
McBean: Then you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars.
Star Bellied Leader: (points to his belly) Eradicates these?
McBean: Eradicates these with the greatest of ease. Provided you pay your 10 bucks, if you please.
Star Bellied Leader: Here's 10 for the boy and 10 for me.
McBean: Thank you.
The heroes, Horton and Morton the Elephant-Bird arrive.
Morton the Elephant-Bird: Now what is he up to?
Horton: Oh, I get it! A star eliminater!
June: Oh brother.
With that, the father and son went in. Then, the Sneetches with stars placed the money in the 10 dollar bin with McBean grinning.
McBean: Thank you. Thank you.
With that, the Sneetches went into the machine, where it was somewhat dark. They slid down, landing on a conveyor belt, being towed to pipes and bounced around. Then, when some were near a circle, one was zapped by electricity, making his fur fluff. Then, splashed with water with the next one about to go through the same. They went through the dark before being twirled, and finally, they slid out the end pipe, now without stars, to their delight.
Star Bellied 1: How original!
Star Bellied 2: How distinctive.
Star Bellied 3: How exclusive.
Mr. Stubborn: How fake. Those stars are painted on and he probably clean them off.
The only ones with stars left looked stunned at what they saw before glancing at the now new plained bellied Sneetches, with their heads held high.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) Now, we know who is who, and there isn't a doubt.
The best kind of sneetches are sneetches without.
The old-fashioned custom of walking about
with stars on your belly is O-U-T, out!
They looked concerned about it.
Sneetch Choir: (singing) Abdominal stars we cannot obide.
Abdominal stars are abominable.
Abdominal...abominable...
Abdominal stars are abominable.
O-U-T, out! O-U-T, out!
That old-status symbol is O-U-T, out!
Stan: Dude, smug alert.
Psycho: This is the part where things probably go nutso.
That only made them frown. A bit later, the newly stared Sneetches came to McBean's Star Out machine.
Rini: (narrating) Then, of course those with stars all got frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.
Then, of course old Sylvester McMonkey McBean
invited them into his stars-off machine.
With that, they placed the money in the bin, running to the machine.
McBean: Thank you. Thank you.
They went into the machine, going through the same progress the real star bellied Sneetches went to before. When they came out, they smiled having their plain bellies once more. The former star bellies frowned, heading to the star on machine, paying McBean.
Rini: (narrating) Then, of course from then on, you can probably guess,
things really got into a horrible mess.
Then, as time was going on, the sneetches with and without stars headed to the machines as they tried getting the stars on and off.
Rini: (narrating) All the rest of the day on those wild screaming beaches,
the Fix-it-up-Chappie was fixing up Sneetches.
Off again, on again, in again, out again,
through the machine and back round about again,
still paying money, still running through,
changing their stars every minute or two,
Danny: Wait, which one is...I think...I know, uh...
The Sneetches went around and around.
Rini: (narrating) They kept paying money, they kept running through
until neither the Plain- nor the Star-bellies knew
Mr. Scatterbrain: (angry mark) WILL YOU STOP RUNNING AROUND?! I think I identify one of you twice!!!
Just then, they stopped, looking at one another, looking confused at one another.
Rini: (narrating) Whether this one was that one or that one was this one
or which one was what one...or what one was who! |
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