Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners.
A/N: I decided to co-write this fic with my friends. I hope you enjoy it.
Prologue:
"Julayla, Neros, & Company Present"
"A JusSonic Production"
"Starring Banjo-Kazooie & the Babylon Rogues"
On the throne room, while the lightning flashed, two figures, one looking sadly at his friend, the other depressed with anger, slowly drank their milk. As they did, we pan back from the two, with us seeing many creatures of some sort around the throne. The male was a brown bear with blue eyes, wearing yellow shorts and a blue backpack. The other was a red breegull with blue eyes. They were known as Banjo and Kazooie.
Banjo's Voice: Well, there we are, Banjo and Kazooie the king and queen; rulers of all the land. Who'd have thought that?
Kazooie's Voice: But how did we come to this, you say. And who are those strange fellows that surround our throne. That you also say.
Banjo's Voice: It's a long story. Come closer and we'll tell you.
Kazooie's Voice: It all started yesterday, and what a day that was! It's what we'd like to call, a bad fur day.
"Banjo-Kazooie's Bad Fur Day"
Then, as we finally stopped, the front door leading to the throne closed in front of us, making the scene black.
This message has been edited by Julayla on Jul 7, 2009 4:34 PM
Now we see a room where two birds exercising while another was sitting down and relaxing, all of them listening to their headphones. The first bird exercising bird was a green hawk wearing goldenrod-lensed goggles on his forehead, white gloves and red boots with black marks on them.
The second bird exercising with the green hawk was a pinkish purple female swallow wearing a white headband, orange-lensed goggles on her forehead, white gloves, a white shirt, white pants with violet flames and red boots under the pants.
The last bird was a big, burly, brawny gray albatross wearing blue-lensed yellow goggles on his forehead, orange gloves and black sneakers with yellow horizontal lines on them. These three are known as Jet the Hawk, Wave the Swallow, and Storm the Albatross, the Babylon Rogues. Unknown to the three birds, who were listening to the music on their headphones, a telephone was ringing. Then, an answering machine was playing.
Jet's Voice: Hey there, you reached the Babylon Rogues' place. We're not around to kick it right now.
Wave's Voice: If you got anything to say, make sure you say it while we get back to you.
Storm's Voice: And if this is Sonic and the others, we want another race! We're still not satisfied with you finishing like that. And we think you cheated.
Jet's Voice: Storm, quiet! You're ruining the message!
The phone then beeped before a familiar voice began speaking.
The scene changes to a bar, where Banjo and Kazooie are at.
Banjo: Anyway, we're going to be running a little late. Can you watch Tooty while we're gone?
Kazooie: We also met some freaks, especially Goggles over there. They said they were going to, I dunno, some war.
The scene changes back to the phone.
Kazooie's Voice: Anyway, see ya. Love ya, Storm. (kisses)
Back at the bar, Kazooie looked at her friend.
Kazooie: I think they bought it.
Banjo: (frowns) Kazooie.
Voice: Hey, Kazooie, put the phone down.
Kazooie: (as she hangs up the phone) All right, who's round is it?
Voices: Yours.
Banjo: Oh bother! Again!? (sighs) I guess I can turn in early. Good night.
With that, the bear went to sleep.
Kazooie: Good night, Banjo. (to the others) Hey, can someone lend me a few bucks?
Later, Kazooie, now drunk, is feeling really woozy as she wobbles a bit.
Kazooie: Ugh. I don't feel right. (to the guys at the bar) You guys enjoy yourselves and all that, and we'll probably see you sometime next week. Banjo and I gotta go home.
With that, she did the Talon Trot, but she still feels dizzy from being drunk.
Kazooie: Whoa... using the Talon Trot is gonna be hard this time. (as she looks around) Anyway, I'll go this way. No, that's the toilets. I'll go this way then.
Soon, she finds the exit.
Kazooie: Ah, there we are.
She then starts walking woozily towards the exit. Outside the bar, she looked around and sees that it's raining.
Kazooie: Doesn’t look too good tonight.
Just then, Kazooie felt something painful and uncomfortable in her stomach.
Kazooie: Ugh... Ooh... Hold on.
Next to the duo was a monk, who was looking at his slab. Kazooie turned to it and puked on the ground next to the monk, getting the vomit to splash on it. After that, the monk hissed angrily at the bird.
Kazooie: Ohh... Sorry about that, Christian viper. We gotta go.
The drunk bird carrying the sleeping bear went off, and soon, they were up to a sign, which read "Normal" on one arrow and "Mutant" on the other. Unfortunately for the bird, her vision of the sign was blurry.
Kazooie: Gee, this is confusing. Looks familiar to me, though.
Unknown to the duo, a few buzzing figures are flying by, holding a beehive.
Figure: C'mon, c'mon! Quick! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
After the figures passed, Kazooie turned around, but didn't see them.
Kazooie: Huh? What was that? Oh, well. Guess I better go this way.
With that, the duo went off to a different direction as the screen fades black.
Meanwhile, somewhere at a castle, a storm brewed up as lightning flashed. Inside, a big mammoth awaited for something, sitting on his throne while holding a glass. He was a big brown mammoth with gray eyes and big tusks. He wore a beige business suit with a big tie, matching loafer shoes, and held a cane. He was known as Mammoth Mogul.
He glanced at someone arriving with a carton of milk. He was a brown furred wolf with a red nose and some fur missing on the top of the tail. He wore only white gloves and blue pants with one strap around. He was known as Bobcat.
Bobcat: (bows) More milk, sire?
Mogul: Hmmmm...yes.
He then poured the milk onto the cup. Swiftly, the mammoth drank almost the whole glass, sighing in relief. However, when he placed down the cup onto the table with a short leg, it tipped over before the glass fell down, breaking. He motioned it back up before glaring at the wolf, who only gulped in fear. Mogul growled in anger before he trumpet out in anger, blowing some milk mist around.
Mogul: AAAAAAHHHHH!!
Meanwhile, somewhere in a field, Kazooie groaned, coughing a little. The bird groaned, looking around before frowning.
Kazooie: Oh great, don't tell me I got myself lost.
Banjo yawned a bit before waking up, sitting up as he spoke.
Banjo: That was the weirdest dream I've ever had.
Kazooie: What dream?
Banjo: I was dreaming that you went the wrong way and...
He gasped, looking around as Kazooie groaned, with Banjo taking off his bag, letting Kazooie stand, though she wobbled a bit.
Banjo: Kazooie, did you get us lost again?
Kazooie: (groans) Oh no...it's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?
The breegull wobbled a bit, going around the fence area while Banjo was helping her a bit.
Banjo: This is what happens to those who drinks too much.
Kazooie: No, it comes from having maps that make little to no sense. I mean, how stupid can they be anyway?
Just then, he noticed something waking up and wobbling. It was a pumpkin headed scarecrow wearing a red coat, brown pants, black shoes, and had wooden hands.
Scarecrow: What's that, what's that? (notices) Um...who are you?
Banjo: Oh. Hello. Can you help my friend here?
Kazooie: (groans) We need to get home and go to bed cause I don't feel very well at all.
Scarecrow: Err. Home? No. No.
Banjo: Oh. So you can’t help us at all?
Scarecrow: Actually, yeah. Yes. I can. Maybe.
Kazooie: (sweatdrops) Um, okay. What’s your name?
Scarecrow: Scareferno.
Kazooie: Inferno? But you don't look anything like a blaze of fire.
Scareferno: No. Scareferno. I scare anything.
Banjo: Okay, Scareferno.
Kazooie: (quietly) Fake name.
Banjo: How can you help me?
Scareferno: Right! Step over here.
The gate opened up before the two stepped on the pad with a letter B on it.
Scareferno: You see those buttons? Actually, you'll find that they're called context sensitive. And, eh, well, actually, they eh, press B.
Banjo: Press B?
Kazooie: Is this gonna be like that Mumbo Jumbo making us into different animals? Because I can't handle that crap today.
Scareferno: Oh...no...anyway, the light comes on and it makes this noise. Ting! Ting noise. It goes ting.
Then, a lightbulb appeared over the two's heads.
Scareferno: There you go. Ting. That’s it.
Banjo: That’s it?
Scareferno: Yeah.
Banjo: Okay. We'll press B.
Then, Kazooie took something out of her bag.
Banjo: Did you pack in that?
Kazooie: What?
The scarecrow only snatched the drink.
Scareferno: Ah. Don’t mind if I do.
He quickly drank the whole thing in one gulp.
Banjo: So what does that mean?
Scareferno: It means context sensitive. It’s sensitive to context. Try it over there.
The gate opened, showing another B pad as the two nodded.
Both: Okay.
Scareferno: Or you could try it again.
Kazooie then pulled out a bottle of helium.
Banjo: So that's where my bottle of helium went off to.
However, the scarecrow snatched it, inhaling it deeply.
Banjo: Hey!
Scareferno: (in a high voice) Really nice helium.
Kazooie pulled out another bottle before Scareferno snatched it.
Scareferno: Ah. Don’t mind if I do. Thank you very much.
He chugged it all the way down before he yawned, groaning.
Scareferno: Ah. I’m going to bed now. Night-night.
Banjo: Uh, it's almost dawn.
However, he only went off to sleep.
Banjo: Come on, Kazooie.
He placed the backpack back on before the bear headed to the other B pad. When the lightbulb appeared, Kazooie popped out before pulling out something.
Kazooie: So that's where the aspirin was.
He took it before placing it in a cup, then scooping some water.
Banjo: Here, Kazooie.
The bird chugged it down before she sighed in relief, with her eyes returning to normal.
Kazooie: (grins) Wow. Just what I needed. In fact, it would seem to me that these give us just what we need at that moment in time...ooh...I see what he means. Context sensitive. Clever! And I feel loads better!
Banjo: Right! Let's get out of here. After this, no more drinking out like that.
Kazooie: (frowns) Spoil sport. (to the camera) Oh, and by the way. If for whatever reason you want to skip all these wonderful cut scenes, then just pull the left trigger. But, you will have to have watched them at least once. Heck, even I don't know why I said it since it's just a fanmake.
Banjo: Maybe we should go where those ledges were.
Kazooie: Right
With that, the two got onto the water, with Banjo placing on floaties on his arms.
But then, after a couple minutes of waiting, Banjo spoke.
Banjo: I can't seem to get any further. The only moves I'm used to is my ones from my game series. There must be something...
Kazooie: I know! Hold down the right trigger and you should crouch. Um... what else? Oh yeah! Press A to jump
extra high. Then A again to do my flap thing. Hold A to fall slowly. Only temporary, though.
Banjo: This is a fanmake, though. How could their be video game actions?
Kazooie: Never mind that, Banjo. We got adventuring to do.
Banjo: Yeah. We should easily get across that gap.
With that, the duo got in the water, swam to a platform ahead and jumped over the gap. The next thing they realize, they headed inside a room, and a door suddenly slammed on them.
Banjo: Hey!
The two noticed a keyhole and the breegull groaned.
Kazooie: Oh great, we have to get a stupid key, is that it?
Banjo: Come on, Kazooie. We're pretty much locked in here, so we may as well.
They notice a key, which was lying on the ground.
Banjo: There it is!
Kazooie: That was easy.
But then, the key, revealing to have eyes, jumped up and yelled out in shock before hopping away.
Kazooie: That key's alive!
Banjo: Let's get it!
The duo charged towards the key, but the second they went near it, the key hopped off really fast.
Banjo: Well, this isn't good, the key's too fast.
Kazooie: What we need is a weapon of some sort.
Banjo: I think we got two in the bag, don't we?
Kazooie: Yeah, I believe so.
The breegull got in the blue backpack and comes back out with a frying pan.
Kazooie: This might work.
But then, they got hit by an imp who ducked in his armor, getting his spikes out, hurting the duo.
Banjo: Oww!
Kazooie: Oh crap, don't tell me we gotta get rid of those stupid things in spikes. I thought the authors were gonna change those roles!
Banjo: Maybe they ran out of ideas, Kazooie.
Kazooie: (sarcastically) You think?
This time, with careful timing, the two hit the imp, getting it to explode into a puddle of blood.
Banjo: (disgusted) Ugh, nasty!
Kazooie: Least it won't annoy us.
Then, after the duo got to the key again, the key was about to hop away again.
Kazooie: Not this time, you naughty little rascal!
She then hits the key with her frying pan, knocking it down.
Banjo: (picks the key up) Got it!
Kazooie: Finally, we can leave this stupid place. Why did we come here in the first place?
Banjo: First off, to ensure we have our own weapon demonstrated, and second, it was in the script.
Kazooie: Uh, good point.
The two then got to the keyhole and Banjo put the key inside it and turned it, getting the door to open.
Outside, the two continued upward before they came to the bridge. However, they stopped, noticing a gargoyle with dark skin, red eyes, white hair, and in some sort of armor. He was known as Thailog.
Banjo: Ah. Who's this guy?
Thailog: If you think you're coming this way, you can think again.
Kazooie: (sarcastically) Oh, you're a real charmer.
Banjo: We just wanna get past, please.
Thailog: (frowns) No! I don't think so.
He sat down as he continued.
Thailog: I've only just got comfy. Have you ever sat on a piece of Gothic architecture for 200 years? Gets right up your rear you know. Thought it was about time to move to a bridge, say, and I'm not moving now.
Kazooie: (annoyed) Isn't it a little bit early in the day to start talking about gothic architecture?
Thailog: Well, if you care to come a bit closer, we can discuss things of another nature.
Kazooie: Oh yeah? Take this!
She was about to hit Thailog with the frying pan, but he grabbed it.
Thailog: Hmph, a frying pan. You stupid little bird and bear.
He then tossed it away.
Kazooie: Hey!
Banjo: That wasn't in the script!
Thailog: It is now...
Kazooie: (ponders) Hmm. Wasn’t he meant to fall of here?
Banjo: I'll ask. (to Thailog) Excuse me, Mr. Gargoyle?
Thailog: Thailog, bear.
Banjo: Right...Thailog, weren’t you meant to fall off here?
Thailog: Yes. But the designer and authors thought it wise to change the training level a bit. To fool the audience into thinking that the rest of the game would also be different. I’m afraid you’ll have to try something else.
Kazooie: Hmm. Well, lucky we brought this as well then.
Then, the breegull pulled out a wrench with the Mumbo head symbol on it.
Kazooie: And you said the wrench was a bad idea.
Banjo: (groans) Kazooie...
She then hit Thailog, though due to the armor, he only chuckled.
Thailog: The wrench? Ha-ha-ha!
The two only grinned, waving sheepishly as he began to lose balance.
Thailog: You stupid little...
Just then, he began stumbling before he fell off, screaming as he headed to the bottom.
Thailog: AAAAHHHHHHH!!
As they heard the crash, the two looked as they saw the rockslide blocking the path.
Kazooie: (looks at the camera) Hey, Mr. Designer, Mr. and Little Miss Authors, no more surprises please, even if it is for script purposes.
Banjo: Uh, Kazooie, we have a new problem.
The two glanced before noticing the blocked path.
Kazooie: Oh right...
She then noticed a B-Pad where a small bridge near the rocks were.
Kazooie: Hey, there's one. Go to that.
He nodded before super jumping to the top of the rock, then onto the small wooden bridge. He then got onto the B-pad before taking out, from his bag, a dynamite plunger, with the dynamite rolling down to the bottom of the rock.
Banjo: Plunger with dynamite. Um, I think I know what’s gonna happen now.
He then pushed it down before the dynamite blasted the rock into pieces, clearing the path. The two grinned, arriving down to the bridge.
Banjo: Whoa! Yep. Fantastic.
Kazooie: Let’s go and get some shut-eye...finally!
Banjo: Maybe you anyway...
She looked annoyed as they headed into the tunnel. Meanwhile, back at the castle, someone inside the lab was quickly going around the table, quickly setting most of the items up before taking what seemed like plans. The man was wearing a red coat. He also wore white gloves and sunglasses and had a giant orange moustache and had no hair. His stomach was shaped like an egg as well. He was known to be Dr. Ivo Robotnik aka Dr. Eggman.
Eggman: Oh great! Oh, come on! Have I got everything? Have I got everything? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! You know what he's like. You know what he's like.
He left the lab before fixing himself, clearing his throat.
Eggman: All right, Dr. Eggman, just make a good entrance because it could be important, even if he is an immortal boob.
He went to the door, slowly opening it before noticing the mammoth. He entered cautiously before Mogul grinned.
Mogul: Ah, Dr. Eggman. Listen carefully...I have a job for you.
He then pointed to the table near himself.
Mogul: As you can see, the table.
Eggman: (to himself) That's important? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Mogul: (confused) What?
Eggman: Oh, the table! Ah yes! I'm guessing you spilled you spilled your drink again, huh? I don't think that's a good sign. Not good, indeed. Let me have a look at it for you.
He then examined the table, or mostly pretended to before nodding.
Eggman: Yes...I...I think I see the problem. (bows) I'll see what I can do. Now just give me a moment, though. I'll come back later.
He began to walk away as the mammoth glanced at him.
Mogul: Don’t be too long.
Eggman: Don't get your pants in a dryer quickly. I'll come quickly ASAP.
Mogul: Cause you know what happened last time.
Eggman yelped before pulling up his left arm shirt, revealing a robotic limb.
Eggman: Uh...he-he. Only too well. Only too well.
He rolled it back down, continuing to bow.
Eggman: Time to make my leave.
He was grabbed by the mammoth as he frowned.
Mogul: I don't want to have to destroy the rest of you now, especially since you proved to be a use to me.
Eggman: Eep! Uh, don't worry! Don't worry! Please, don't destroy the rest of me! I like my body after all!
He then shoved the fat man.
Mogul: (darkly) Then go!
Eggman nodded before quickly leaving with the door closing behind. Back at the lab, Eggman was fixing his robotic limb as he looked at it in anger.
Eggman: (angrily) Destroy me? Destroy me!? I'll make him lose a limb! The fucking asshole! I'll come down here! I'll show him where to stuff those tusks of his! I'll also ensure I rip that trunk of his for good! Stupid fucker! All I do all day is try or not try to sort out his stupid fucking problems out! Asshole! I fucking hate that mammoth!
He finished before pulling his sleeve back down, placing the wrench back up. He then looked around the table area.
Eggman: Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, the drink of his and the table. What shall I do with this situation?
He then looked at the table with items.
Eggman: Oh yes, clean the table first to make the plans or something similar to distract Mogul.
He then looked at some floating honeycombs, feathers, eggs, speed boots, and Talon Trots.
Eggman: Anti-gravity combs, feathers of two sorts, eggs of different kind, the speed boots, and the Talon Trots are somewhat working...(annoyed) All right, that will do! Out the window they go!
As the items were splitting up, the anti-gravity comb landed near where Banjo and Kazooie came out of the hole.
Banjo: Hey, that looks like a honey comb.
Kazooie: (groans) So hungry.
Banjo: I thought you were sleepy?
Kazooie: (annoyed) Is there a difference?
Banjo: (sighs) Why don't you let me do the walking. You need your shut eye anyway.
He grabbed the honey comb before eating it. He sighed, grinning.
Banjo: Now that's good.
As he came down, the two noticed someone crying. It was a big yellow bee-like creature with red eyes, wings, horns for hands, and legs along with antennas. It only wore a queen's crown and robe. This was a Queen Beedrill.
Queen Beedrill: Oh, those nasty, nasty mutant Beedrill. (weeping) What ever shall we do? My beautiful hive has gone, and I’ll never see it again!
Kazooie: (to Banjo) Hope she’s rich cause she ain’t cute.
Banjo: Kazooie! (to the queen) Sorry, she's a bit edgy since she didn't get any sleep. Anyway, what do you want us to do about it?
Queen Beedrill: Please get it back for us. (sniffs) Otherwise, I don’t know what we’re going to do.
Kazooie: Ok. Ok. Calm down. We'll go and get it for you.
Banjo: Now, where is it?
Queen Beedrill: Just follow the signs.
They looked at the signs saying "Normal" and "Mutant" on them.
Banjo: Who in their right mind would make something so obvious anyway?
Kazooie: Twits, that's what. Come on, let's continue our adventure.
The bear and bird hurried through the place, though they noticed an imp in armor noticing them. It quickly ducked inside before the two noticed it rolling down toward them.
Kazooie: (annoyed) This didn't happen in the fanmake.
At that moment, the two were hit as blood splattering was seen, landing in the small river near them. Somewhere in the dark, the duo lied on the ground, groaning before they got up.
Banjo: Uh oh, it looks like we're probably in the Underwhere.
Kazooie: (sarcastically) Nice going on getting a permanent Game Over, brown bear.
Booming Voice: Banjo...Kazooie...Banjo and Kazooie!
The two yelped, holding one another before hearing the voice as they saw the big shadow.
Booming Voice: Yes, you two! You’re dead. You are dead. Dead as a dodo. Deader than a-
At that moment, they heard a screeching noise before someone came out, looking annoyed. He was a weird eyed man with rotten teeth and a big black beard. He wore a red bandanna, black pants, a black belt, and black boots. He was known mostly as Grimm.
Grimm: I can't be arsed with this bloody ridiculous contraption.
Quickly, the short man tossed it away.
Grimm: Who's idea was this anyway.
He then noticed the bear and bird, looking at them.
Grimm: Oh right, you two. Greetings. My name is Grimm, the Grim Reaper, and don't laugh!
Banjo: Strange, I was expecting Grim from Billy and Mandy, Harry Moleman from Sam & Max, or Death from Family Guy to take this role.
Grimm: Well, they haven't, all right?
Kazooie: (frowns) Nice to see you too, dwarfie.
Grimm: (annoyed) I am not a dwarf! Besides, how many other grim reapers have you met before, lass? Not counting those two! After all, what is a Grim Reaper suppose to look like truly anyway?
Banjo: Yeah, that's a good point, and well made.
Kazooie: Whatever. He is still a dwarf.
Grimm: Now. Let’s see...
Then, he pulled out a scroll, looking at it.
Grimm: Okay, there you are...Banjo and Kazooie. Now, what's your surnames?
Banjo: Um, the Bear.
Kazooie: The Breegull, nitwit.
Grimm: Let see...Breegull...Bear...
Then, he angrily tore the scroll in two before glaring at them.
Grimm: (annoyed) Oh, bloody hell! You would have to be a sodding bear and little birdie, wouldn’t you?
Banjo: Why? Is there a problem with that?
Grimm: Well, yes there is, actually. It’s like those bloody cats and stupid squirrels. Such pains in the arse. You’re one of these (sarcastically) "special cases."
Kazooie: Oh, really?
Grimm: Yes. Apparently according to the powers that be...I’m just doing my job. I do what I’m told. I don’t even get paid very much nor do I get to Grimm up a few things in this stupid job. Apparently, you two creatures together can have as many lives as they think they can get away with.
Banjo: Oh. I see. So we're not dead.
Grimm: You're dead, but not quite.
Kazooie: Huh. Right. Well, we'll be off then.
She nudged Banjo forward before Grimm, noticing, quickly butt stomped the path, blocking the path.
Grimm: J-just you wait! Smart ass! You don’t get out of it that easily.
They stopped as he continued.
Grimm: Now, the thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn’t mean you can’t die. You just have a few more, shall we say, chances. Yes. Like cats. I hate those things.
He then pointed to what appeared to be a familiar trophy item.
Grimm: Distributed around your little world are the trophy things. Banjo Trophies. If you can get them, I’ll give you an extra chance. Understand?
Banjo: (concerned) Um. Well. Sounds a bit strange but okay.
Grimm: (angrily) Strange? It’s the best bloody deal you’re going to get you little pricks. Right. Piss off. I’ve got some cats to see.
He began walking away as he muttered bitterly.
Grimm: Bloody things. I hate those bloody cats. The way they meow and piss everywhere, and their shit smells just bloody awful. All over my furniture...if I had any.
When he was gone, Kazooie grinned as she spoke.
Kazooie: At least our usual items are in this fanmake.
Banjo: Come on, we gotta use it to get the Beedrill's hive back.
Kazooie: (annoyed) All right...baby.
They absorbed the trophy before a skeletal hand picked them up, carrying them out.
However, at that moment, three creatures called Mutant Beedrill came, noticing the duo about to leave with the hive.
Kazooie: (annoyed) You had to say that.
Mutant with Cigar: Hey! Some wise guys are trying to steal our nice new hive!
Slim Mutant: Come on boss. Let’s go get 'em.
Fat Mutant: Yeah! Let’s get 'em.
Kazooie: I say those jerks are gonna need a good lesson...after we...RUN!!
The bear tried running, though began grunting as he carried the hive.
Kazooie: (annoyed) Oh great. (notices) Hey, the speed boots!
Banjo: Get 'em on and hurry before those mutant Beedrill sting us!
She stuck out her legs, with her automatically snatching the Speed Boots. Quickly and swiftly, they ran for their lives. Finally, the bear tossed the hive to where the Queen Beedrill was. Quickly, she got inside before Banjo got back up, taking Kazooie while aiming her. The hive began transforming into a gun turret, with the two aiming toward the slim mutant, making it gulp in fear.
Kazooie: (smirks) Eat lead, mother buzzer.
With that, Kazooie shot out many Grenade Eggs with the queen firing at the mutants. Two of them were hit before the one, barely dodging the attacks, tried retreating.
Mutant with Cigar: You’ll never get me!
However, the smirking bird fired above, then it landed on the creature, making it hit before landing in the water. When all was clear, the queen got out looking at the two.
Queen Beedrill: Oh, thank you both. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for that no-good husband of mine. He’s gone off, you know, with another woman.
Kazooie: (dryly) Oh. Really. That doesn’t surprise me.
Queen Beedrill: (shocked) What?
Banjo: (elbows her) Nothing!
Kazooie: Ow!
Queen Beedrill: Anyway. As a reward for your good service to the Beedrill community, I present you with this.
Then, out came a shining golden puzzle-like creature with eyes along with a cigar.
Banjo: What do you know, a Shining Gold Jiggy! I heard those are rare.
Kazooie: Probably not rare in this place.
Jiggy: Somebody call for me?
Just then, in true cartoon fashion, her eyes turned to dollar signs.
Banjo: Kazooie!
Jiggy: Who wants some of the dough?
The bear looked at it before doing his jumping around, with Kazooie snatching it and placing it inside the bag (ala Banjo-Kazooie's Jiggy Finding Victory Dance).
Kazooie: (smirks) Yeah! Puzzle prizes.
Banjo: (to the queen) We'll be seeing you. We have to get home. My sister's gonna get worried if I don't show up in time.
The duo began walking down the path with Kazooie noticing.
Kazooie: Oh great, don't tell me...we gotta go through those dorks right up there.
Banjo: Huh?
He looked at where two creatures with wings called Yanma were lying and waiting.
Yanma 1: Alright, who’s dis?
Yanma 2: It looks like one of them bears and birds.
Yanma 1: I reckon we should go down there and kick the shit out of 'em?
Yanma 2: Ah, wait till they come up here, alright?
Yanma 1: Yeah, okay then.
Banjo: Yanma! Oh dear...
Kazooie: (frowns) What now, Sugar Bear?
At that moment, they noticed a familiar figure on a B-Pad near where they were.
Scareferno: Hello. It’s me again. Mr. Scareferno. Right what seems to be the problem? Oh yes. You need manual. Otherwise, no. Doesn’t work. It’ll cost you.
Banjo: Okay, how much?
Scareferno: Eh… got any mepsipax?
Banjo: (confused) What?
Kazooie: Don't you mean Pepsi Max? And no, that drink's been gone for a long while now.
Scareferno: (shakes his head) Don’t matter. Actually, I think, well, eh, 10 Jiggy Points. Long time. You love manual long time.
Banjo, looking at the Jiggy, noticed a part of it breaking off itself.
Banjo: I didn't think it could do that.
Kazooie took it, giving it to Scareferno.
Kazooie: Here you go.
He took it before pocketing the small Jiggy.
Scareferno: Here ya go.
He gave the manual to the two.
Scareferno: Manual. Just press B.
With that, he began heading off, though they heard coughing from inside the coat.
Jiggy: Oh! Ugh! Ah! Get me outta here! Hey you come here! Come on!
It jumped out, hopping over toward the duo, unknown to Scareferno.
Scareferno: I wanna go back in there! Hurry up!
Banjo: But we gave part of you to-
Kazooie: (grins) Okay. Suits me. Yeah. loot.
After Banjo made a frustrating sigh, he and Kazooie did their victory dance before the Jiggy was placed in and back in one piece.
Jiggy: (peeking) So you know, the more of me you get, the bigger and complete I get.
Banjo: Won't you be too big to fit in there by then?
Kazooie: Who knows and who cares?
She then looked at the manual as she and Banjo peeked at it.
Banjo: Ah. Seems to be an instruction book. Oh, I see. It's for the more complex stuff. It will appear the first time you use a more complex zone. And, if you need again, just pull the left trigger and press B. To skip it, just press B.
Kazooie: Luckily we only get to spoof these scenes once.
Banjo: The catapult. Let's see now. Use control stick to aim...and the right trigger to fire. That seems simple enough.
Kazooie: (annoyed) You're not thinking...
However, it was too late as Banjo, bringing out a slingshot, shot at the Yanma.
Yanma 1 & 2: (angrily) Why you!
The two got off before Banjo ducked and Kazooie shot many eggs at the two, knocking them out.
Kazooie: Okay, next time, I get to do the "B" button thing!
Just then, they saw a pathway open up before the duo headed upward.
Banjo: (looks around) Hmm. Let’s see. This way...or that way?
Kazooie looked at the smelly area, looking disgusted.
Kazooie: Hmm… that way smells a bit pooey. Hmm. Let me see.
She peeked through, gagging a bit before quickly taking out a gas mask from the bag.
Kazooie: What a stink. I think this calls for the gas mask.
She looked around as Banjo spoke.
Banjo: What do you see?
She then looked at the sign at the door.
Kazooie: (reads) "Will be back at 10 AM." What time is it now?
Banjo looked at his wrist watch, looking at her.
Banjo: 8:30.
Kazooie: (shrugs) Oh well. I suppose we'll come back later then.
With that, the two headed to the non-smelly path. Back in the lab, Eggman looked at the chart with the table and the milk spilled on the ground with a long pointer.
Eggman: (ponders) So, what is the key elements in this experimentation...we have the table (points) here.
He then looked carefully at the chart.
Eggman: And the milk in broken glass. Hmmm, I see the problem. (raising a brow) Oh, and there seems to be a...hmmm, seems to be a...hmmm...
He turned, away as he became concerned.
Eggman: I must do some experimenting...of course, we'll sort this out.
He then looked at where a mechanical head was, grinning a cruel evil smile.
Eggman: And when the E-Series Robots are ready, then, Mogul, we will see who destroys who! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!
In the barn, the bear and bird duo looked around the place while noticing two metallic crates, one bigger squishing the smaller one while looking fearful.
Banjo: Too bad we couldn't give all the roles replacements like we did with animal/plant looking ones.
Kazooie: Oh great, lemme guess, we're going to do another dumb good deed during this adventure, aren't we?
Block: I say, I say bear and bird, You’d better get this fat-ass bitch off a my back pronto.
Banjo: Gee, so many people around here want us to solve their problems.
Kazooie: What are you gonna do for us then?
Block: I’ll tell you want I'm gonna do. I say, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do.
The group looked at where a big rat belching was. He was a gray rat with dotted eyes, pink ears, tail, paws, and toes, black nose, and buck teeth. The only thing on him was a green hat. He was known as Jimmy Two-Teeth.
Block: You get rid of that freaking mouse critter and maybe I’ll help you out. Just maybe. Oh, just one more thing, I say, just one more thing. You may run into my friend Burt. Just mention my name, Jack, and everything will be just dandy.
Kazooie: Oh great, the rat from Sam and Max, what are the odds?
Jimmy Two-Teeth: You think you got problems? That rabbit gave me some freaky tofu that looked like cheese! Now I got gas problems!
He belched, giving bad breath to the bird, who quickly threw up in a vomit bag.
Banjo: Kazooie!
Jimmy Two-Teeth: Now the only problem is finding out where I'm gonna find some better cheese! Where the heck is it?
Kazooie: (groans) You stay here. We'll deal with it...like always.
With that, the bear and bird were off, quickly avoiding the metal blocks heading their way with Kazooie's gold feather, making them fly toward where a corral was.
Banjo: (landing) Hi. You must be Burt.
Burt: I'm Burt.
Banjo: Jack sent us.
Burt: I'll open the gate for you here, and you can get on with what is it ever you're trying to do.
The gate opened up as the cheese with eyes, noticing, yelped, quickly heading to the back.
Kazooie: (annoyed) That’s all you do? Great.
The two chased the cheese quickly, with Kazooie using the Mumbo wrench, whacking one of them before Banjo grabbed it.
Banjo: Come on, we better get back.
A bit later, the two showed the moving cheese.
Banjo: Here you go!
The rat ate it in one gulp, smirking to them.
Jimmy Two-Teeth: That was nice! (burps) I'd like another though, if that's okay.
Kazooie: Oh for the love of...
A few moments later, they came back with another piece of cheese before Jimmy quickly snatched it and ate it in one gulp.
Kazooie: Hey!
Jimmy Two-Teeth: Marvelous! One more should just about do it.
Some time later, the two came back with the cheese.
Jimmy Two-Teeth: Where were you two? Gimme the cheese or else!
Banjo: Um...maybe you should cut down.
Kazooie looked annoyed at the rat's gut growing big.
Kazooie: Believe me, tubby, two is enough!
The worried cheese piece nodded quickly.
Jimmy Two-Teeth: No way! I'm taking it now!
They struggled a bit before Jimmy grabbed the cheese, eating it in one gulp. Just then, his stomach and body began bulging with lots of gas.
Banjo: Um...I think we should...
Jimmy Two-Teeth: Oh no! I think I've had too much!
Kazooie: You think? Hit the deck!
The two quickly got to a safe area, ducking just as they heard exploding. They looked as they saw pieces of Jimmy flying all over. Then, the head landing in front of the two.
Jimmy Two-Teeth: (groans) This is what I get for not listening...
Then after one last gas was made from the remains with Jimmy Two-Teeth's tail, the purple crate came down, with Jack sighing in relief.
Jack: Ahhh. I couldn't a lasted a moment longer there. Thank you very much, Mr. Bear and Miss Bird. There's something real neat inside that barn. You just gotta get in there, sonny.
Kazooie: Hopefully not manure.
Banjo: (notices) What's that on top of the barn?
They looked up, noticing a shining familiar object. The two got to the top quickly before Kazooie's eyes changed to money symbols.
Jiggy: So , you want some gold stuff?
Banjo took it and did his Jiggy victory dance, with Kazooie placing that piece inside the big jiggy, making it a bit bigger.
Kazooie: Yeah! I think the round's on me. We're gonna get tanked tonight.
Banjo: But we're suppose to head back home!
Kazooie: Come on, where's your sense of adventure, Banjo?
With that, the two glided down to where the front barn door was.