Once upon a time in a magical land called California, there lived a unhappy, rotund loser of a little boy named Jon-Boy.
Jon-Boy was a really bright young man, but he was unhappy. No one liked him, nor wanted to play his "mind" games. Most of the other children had voted him most likely to become a sociopath, or maybe something even worse...a lightbulb salesman!
As time passed Jon-Boy grew. And he grew, and he grew; until his head just wouldn't go through the head of his tee shirts. During this time he was attending Tulane University where he recieved several degrees. Someone told him he was a genius, and being the manchild he was; he believed them.
One day while selling lightbulbs and impressing his customers with his education, Jon-Boy happened to hear about the film a cowboy had made about the Fuzzywuzzies. Gee, Jon-Boy thought, wouldn't it be neat to see a Fuzzywuzzie.
That weekend Jon-Boy borrowed his neighbors bike and rode far out into the woods where he sat for several hours smoking his miracle weed.
Shortly after midnight, Jon-Boy focused his attention on the eight foot tall creatures known 'round the world as FUZZYWUZZIES!
They had morphed into these forms as he lay there in his sleeping bag smoking and listening to THE BEACHBOYS.
"Jon-Boy!" spoke the largest of the Fuzzywuzzies, "you're too smart to live among regular men. Come with us. We'll take you home for breakfast."
"Breakfast!" thought Jon-Boy, "I'm going to to breakfast with real, honest to God Fuzzywuzzies!"
The chief of the Fuzzywuzzies winked at his fellow Fuzzywuzzies and smiled; revealing long, pointed teeth.
"You misunderstood JON-BOY, when I told you to come with us, that we'd take you home for breakfast we meant YOU WILL BE OUR BREAKFAST!"
Jon*-Boy screamed and broke through the encircled Fuzzywuzzies. He left his sleeping bag, his neighbors bike, and afive ounces of miracle weed behind.
Now Jon-Boy is bitter again. He had the Fuzzywuzzies at his mercy. For all he had to do was say, "Show me your proof that you're going to eat me."
The Fuzzywuzzies were never seen by Jon-Boy again, and there are those who say on quiet lonely nights you can hear him calling ,
"Here Fuzzywuzzies! Here Fuzzywuzzies!"