So, I'm moving my site over, and lookie lookie what I found.... I had completely forgotten this existed. Angelfire said that I hadn't edited this since 2000.


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I discovered the television show 'Young Hercules' when I was 14. I had known that I was addicted to the ancient Greek myths, but seeing Ryan Gosling bring Hercules to life just blew me over the top. I watched every episode of the show, and I searched the Internet for more Ancient Greece. I became enrolled in an internet academy, the Young Hercules University. Most of the other 'cadets' were either gods (godesses), hunters, amazons, demigods (demigoddesses), nymphs, muses, keepers, sorceresses, centaurs (centaurettes), mischevious bushes, mere mortals, and anything else you can think of. Of course the time period was ancient greece, so whoever you were had to fit in back then (no use for telemarketers or car rental agents, ya know what I mean?).

When I enrolled there, I created a history, a life, for Bryn. She became a warrior goddess, 18-something yrs old, 5'8" with shoulder length dark brown hair that was tinted dark green. She was born in the 20th century, but both her parents died when she was still very young. Her parents were both demigods (not that they knew it or that it ment anything special in a world where the old greek gods don't exist anymore) and both worshipped 'Dite. Aphrodite was honored by their devotion in a world without the greek gods, and she brought back their child with her to the past to raise as her apprentice. Bryn's constant companion was a siamese cat named Holly, the goddess of compassion who's powers had been taken away by Hera and had been turned into a cat by the queen of the gods. Bryn became the Goddess of Unrequited Love, apprentice to Aphrodite, and fated to love Ares, the God of War. (All's fair in unrequited love and war, right? It's a match made in Tataurus!)



Bryn and Aries boogie at Kora's. She was lucky enough to get herself engaged to him, but she doubts that they will set a date for at least a century or two, maybe a millenium.

LOL! I've got stuff like that!!!!! That's so funny and cute! We should all breakout our first Young Hercules gushes!

I'll see if I can find mine and I'll get back to you!!!!!



~Alayia~

Cool! I can't wait to read yours!

The following is my copy of Pelee's post from back on 4/11/00 at 12:40:58 pm.

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Okay, since I've been hearding some Complaints.... ...about livening up this forum back to the good old when I was still around posting, I thought I'd stop by and offer some advice in the form of the traditional old school forum. Hoping you guys enjoy it and later!

Preacha Iolie

At Calliope's temple, the Goddess of Creativity (or at least damn near close to that! :P), Preacher Iolie is giving a sermon on the subject of acquiring Creativity with the help of his sermon brothers, Herc and Jason. Preacher Iolie is standing in front of his followers with a microphone in hand waiting for all to be seated. He is wearing a white James brown-like outfit, jumpsuit with bellbottoms and a black cape over his shoulders. The front of his jumpsuit is opened just above his navel so that the followers can get a good eye full. His hair is slicked back in a ponytail and he is wearing sunshades. Hercules is sitting by the organ playing a very soulful tune that sounds familiar but you just can't quite put your finger on it. He is wearing a choirboy gown with modified sleeves so everyone can see his perfect muscles flex as he plays his organ (Not his organ! Sheesh! Dirty minded…). And finally, Jason is by the door greeting everyone as they enter with a paper bag over his head because he is really embarrassed by his friends' sudden wacky behavior.

When everyone is seated, Preacher Iolie begins his sermon.

Iolie (In a Southern Accent): "Oooo Lordies up above! Good mornin' y'all!"

Followers: "Mornin' Preacha Iolie!"

Iolie: "We all are here today to discuss a topic that has been talked about here amongst us goodly folks a lot and that is creativity (Herc plays a few keys on the organ to put emphasis on the word. The girls in the audience swoon over his glorious arm muscles)! Yes! Creativity! Where does it come from? Who does it come from? How do we get it? How do we buy it? Try it? Pry it? Freeze dry it? (Starting to feel the spirit) Slop it up with Kora's Greek Greased Chicken, potatoes and grits and deep pan-fry it!!! (Congregation goes wild. Some begin to shout Amen and Preach on Preacha Iolie!) All of these questions will be answered and more!

Herc (playing a few keys on the organ): "Hallelujah! Preach on Preacha Iolie! I'm feelin' fine and alive! Gimme a hi-five! Assalam Malakome my brotha'!"

Iolie (To Herc hi-fiving him): "Thank you my brotha' and a Malakome Salami on rye with plenty o' mayo! Oooo child! Love me that mayo!" (Back to the followers.) "It ain't noooo big secret where creativity comes from… Or, at least it shouldn't be! For those of you here, the poor lost souls, I will set y'all straight. I will let you in on the secret. (With tension building, Iolie starts to pace on stage and Herc starts a drum role on top of his organ [the musical instrument! Sheesh! You peeps and your dirty…] that sounds a lot like "Wipe Out") It comes from… (He takes out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his brow and then throws it into the audience. The girls go wild fighting over it. Still pacing) It comes from… (He drops to his knees and his cape drops from his shoulders. With the microphone in one hand, he reaches up towards the ceiling with the other hand in a fist) Dear goddess help me find the strength…. (Herc rushes over finally leaving his organ alone [Look! Stop thinking… Oh Hades! Nevermind!] and puts the cape back over his shoulders. Herc helps him to his feet.) I dunno Herc… I dunno… It's so… I don't think I have the strength!

Herc: Try Preacha Iolie! You gots ta try! Besides, your salami on rye sandwich is bein' delivered by the cafeteria assistant… soon!

Iolie (weakly): Must… try… for… the… food! It comes from… (Explodes into a flying high kick down the aisle) WITHIN YOURSELF!

Herc rushes back to the organ and begins to play manically.

Iolie: WOOOOOOO! Hallelujah and praise the goddess of creativity! I'm feelin' that Holy Spirit now! WOOOOOOO! (He somersaults all the way down the aisle to the back of the room and then runs up the wall, pushing himself off. Twisting in the air, he lands right back in front of the congregation. They are in shock and wonder.)

He begins to shake, tremble and dance with the Holy Spirit.

Iolie: (Doing the cabbage patch) Boom Shacka Lacka boom boom! ( Now doing the Running Man) Whoop! Whoop! Whomp! There it is! I sezs Whomp! There it is! Boom Boom! Let me hear you say wayo! WAYO! Bamalama Bama Bing Bong Blue! Mama say… Mama say Mama saw Mama mock coosa! Shaka… Shaka… Shaka Kan! Shaka Kan! WOOOOOOO! (Jumping up and down) I FEEL FOR YOU! I THINK I LOVE YOU! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! (He starts to break dance. Everyone is amazed including Herc who stops playing the organ. Even Jason lifts up his paper bag to get a better look.)

Herc (to himself): Hmmm… That last line sounds familiar… I wonder where I heard it from before? (He ponders for a second and then shrugs. He puts on his Mickey Mouse ears hat and begins to play the organ once more.)

Finally Iolie sinks to the ground exhausted.

Iolie: Brotha' Herc! Go see if the assistant arrived yet with that sandwich! I need sustin… substitution! I mean constitution! I mean constipation! Um… no that's wrong! I had that last week! Sustin… Suffocation or somethin' like that!

Herc rushes past the congregation winking at the girls in the audience. They all swoon as he heads towards the door. He stops by Jason briefly and whispers something then heads out the door. Jason slowly walks down the aisle bumping into the followers' benches until he finally some how manages to find himself at the organ. As a reaction to Hercules' departure, the girls start to cry while others pull their hair out. )

Iolie: Now ladies! Calm down! Brotha' Herc will be back soon! Besides, I'm still here fo' y'all to praise me! (Turns to the side slightly) And I've got the finest ass… pirations this side of Corinth! (Starts to jiggle his ass… pirations for all to see and the girls go nuts!) Good! That's much better! Now, continuing with the sermon on creativity! Creativity comes from within! It comes from inside yourself! There is a little piece of the Goddess in each of you waiting and wanting to be born! Now, how do we get her to jump out and run wild you ask me? Well, I'll tell you! I sezs you reach in! (Jason with the paper bag over his head plays the wrong scale and notes. Iolie gives him a nasty look but then shakes his head and sighs. He turns his attention back to the followers) I sezs you reach in! (Starts to jump up and down) I sezs you rrrreeeeeeaaaaaccccchhhhhh in! And you…. You grab hold of her! YOU GGGGRRRAAABBB hold of her and you PULL her out! WOOOOOOO!!!! (Backflips in place as Jason plays the organ out of key) And once you pull her out you sezs… (in a quiet whisper) Missy Goddess Muse… (a little louder) You Sezs… Missy Goddess Muse… (loud) WILL YOU BLESS ME SWEET MUSE WITH YOUR DEVINE POWERS! (Jumps up and down) I SEZS… WITH YOUR DEEEEVVVIIINNNNEEE POWERS! (Congregation goes wild) Who here is feelin' the spirit? Can I see a sho' of hands? (Everyone raises their hands) Good Lordies up above! Hallelujah I'm feelin' it from y'all too! I needs a volunteer! I SEZS I NEEDS A VOL-UN-TEER! (Everyone raises their hands once again) AHHHH! I sezs (pointing at the audience) You, you and you! (Three followers rush to Iolie's side) Okay, you stand in front of me and you two stand behind her on either side.! (They do as they are told) Now! I'm gonna summon the goddess to help this poor child! (He does a little run-up jog in place and with lightening speed places his hand on top of the girl's head.) Goddess above! (Shaking the girl by the head back and forth rather roughly.) I SEZS GODDESS ABOVE! HELP THIS CHILD CREATE! (To the girl.) Reach deep within yo' self child! Do you feel it… THE POWER TO CREATE? (He lets her go and she falls backwards lightheaded. The two other followers catch her in mid fall.) Help her stand up. (They both help her up.) Now child, did ya feel it?

Girl (Excited.): Yes! I felt it! WOOOOO! (She starts to do the funky chicken that leads into the Macarena and then finally to Irish Riverdancing) I have sooo many ideas now that it's just a miracle! Ares in high heels and fishnet stockings, Rocky Horror Show style! YES! Where's my quill and scroll? I gotta find it!

She Irish Riverdances away but hollers thanks as she leaves.

Iolie: Now you see my wonderful followers what the power of creativity can… (Herc rushes into the room and interrupts him)

Herc: Iolaus… We've got trouble!

Iolie: It's Preacha Iolie to you my Brotha'! (Whispers to Herc) What are trying to do? Make me look common?

Herc (Whispering back): Nevermind that! We have trouble! (Looking at the congregation nervously he turns back to Iolaus) T-iay s-iay iddle Face- Fay! E-way otta-gay o-gay ow-nay!

Iolie: My Brotha', I didn't know you spoke in tongues!

Herc: No! No! It's Pig Latin!

Iolie: Pig Latin? Ohh yeah! It's the root of speaking tongues and tonsils! (Herc smacks his forehead and his Mickey Mouse ears hat falls off.) Ummm… yeah! That's the ticket! Well, here's some Pig Latin for you my Brotha': Get-tay your boot-tay back to the organ-nay and play-yay o-tay-kay? Jason-bay organ playing-gay suxs big time-eay.

Herc (exasperated): Iolaus… (Just then someone enters the room and interrupts him.)

Fiddle Face (Very irritated.): If you spent anytime in class paying attention Iolaus, you'd know that your "Brotha,'" as you call him, was trying to warn you of my arrival.

Herc turns pale while Iolie starts to shake and stammer.

Fiddle Face: Silence! Iolaus, you are supposed to be slopping out the hog pen and Hercules you are supposed to be bailing hay out of the barn! Both of you get moving now!

Hercules and Iolaus both hold their heads down and mutter yes sir as they march past Fiddle Face towards the door.

Iolie (Turning around quickly to his congregation): Remember: Peace in the Middle East! We shall over come one day! Fight the power! Down with the establishment! Walk lightly with a heavy stick! One love! Give Peace a…

Fiddle Face (Interrupting him): Get moving and shut up before I give you a piece of my mind!

Fiddle Face shoves both Hercules and Iolie out the door. The followers rush out the temple trying to catch up with them so that they can convince Fiddle Face into letting the boys finish their sermon.

The Temple was empty all but for one person. Jason slowly moved from under Herc's organ (Even for a PG 13 forum, I ain't going there.). He lifts his paper bag and checks to see if all is clear. When he sees that it is, he sits back down in front of the organ.

Jason (sighing): Man Herc and Iolaus need their heads checked! To embarrass themselves like that in front of everyone… Sheesh! That's the one thing about royalty man! We learn to not embarrass ourselves in public… We do it in private! (Clears his throat and warms up the organ playing chopsticks off key. He begins to sing.) Let us praise them! Let us praise them! If they be girls then let us chase them! I don't know anymore sing-song lines! Let's get drunk on communion wine! Communion wine! Communion wine! It tastes just fine! (Takes a bottle up from under the organ and takes a few swigs. Looks around the room suspiciously to see if anyone saw him. He continues to play a different tune on the organ but still off key. Thinking of Ares, he smiles.) I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transylvania…

Hope you guys enjoyed that.
Pelee

Whoaaaaa! That was funny! Never read that before.

Lol.....Frank N Ares. Rocky Horror! Ahhhhh!

~Alayia~

That's the most entertaining thing I've read in quite awhile, LOL! Well done!