the same thing happened to me in NZ

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Dear Lisa

The same thing happened to me here in New Zealand. My case was never sorted out and justice never happened. If you want some clear and valuable advice from me (I know how to do things properly now, but unfortunately I have been told that I will never be my childs primary caregiver, ever). Don't let this happen to you. You have the advantage of it only just happening recently I presume ?
1/ DOCUMENT EVERYTHING
2/ KEEP YOUR EVER GROWING LEGAL FILE IN ORDER
3/ BUY YOURSELF A RECORDING DEVICE THAT CAN BE APPLIED TO YOUR PHONE TO RECORD EVERY CONVERSATION WITH THE CHILD REMOVAL AGENCY & OTHER NECESSARY PEOPLE PLUS RELEVANT SOFTWARE TO DOWNLOAD & PRINT TRANSCRIPT.
4/ KEEP LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF - I KNOW THIS IS HARD
BUT EVEN TRY USING THOUGHT STOPPING TECHNIQUES TO ASSIST
BY TELLING YOURSELF IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY & YOU ARE DOING EVEYTHING RIGHT & IN YOUR POWER TO GET HER BACK asap
5/ ENGAGE WITH THE BEST LEGAL COUNSEL YOU CAN SECURE (LEGAL AID, IF NECESSARY. - KEEP COPIES OF EVEYTHING YOU GIVE THEM. MINE DESTROYED EVIDENCE I HAD WRITTEN ON ACCESS VISITS OF WHAT CYFS WERE DOING WRONG AT EACH ONE).
6/ TRY & HAVE WITNESSES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, IF YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM ALL OF THE TIME.
7/ TRY NOT TO REACT TO THEIR PROVOCATION/MINDGAMES. THEY COUNT ON THIS TO BE ABLE TO SUIT THEIR AGENDA - SO THEY CAN SAY "SEE, WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT HER ALL ALONG".
8/ GET A GOOD COUNSELLOR FOR YOU. ONE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO FOR ADVICE/SUPPORT, TO KEEP YOU EMOTIONALLY TOGETHER AT THIS DIFFICULT TIME. THE GRIEF OF BEING SEPERATED FROM YOUR NEWBORN CHILD IS NOT UNDERSTOOD BY MANY OTHERS. TRY NOT TO TELL THE WRONG PEOPLE ABOUT LOSING YOUR CHILD - SOME PEOPLE JUDGE YOU AND DEEM YOU TO BE WACKO. BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION IT CAN MAKE YOU THAT WAY, BUT DON'T LET THEM MAKE YOU FEEL WACKO OR LESS THAN THE WONDERFUL MOTHER YOU ARE & WANT TO BE!!!

I don't want to clutter your brain anymore than I already have, as I am a bit distressed myself at the moment and this email to you, may show that.

Please email me back when you feel up to it. I would love to correspond and help you, as I have been there myself and most others cannot understand the trauma at having a newborn baby removed and the emotional state it can leave you in. Try to remain as positive as you can and keep cool, calm and collected, trying not to let others push your buttons. Let your lawyer fire back, not you. But make sure you have the right one or it can cost you the whole case. Be firm and clear with giving them instructions when you need to. DO NOT LET THEM BULLY YOU OR NOT DEFEND WHAT THEY NEED TO.

Sending positive thoughts your way, take care

Gracy, xo





Posted on Apr 11, 2006, 9:58 AM

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  1. thank you for your advise. , May 8, 2006

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