Just want to be very clear- it wasn't SMRC that upset me, or triggered me, it was the original post by an anonymous person because they were feeling horrible. The tone of the reference to "barely elevated fsh" -I did find a little hurtful. I dont want to go back and rewrite everything I wrote in my previous post, but thank you to jm who said it best- a diagnosis of high FSH is a diagnosis of high FSH.
I read all the posts after the anonymous posting and I noticed there were several ladies who were sweet, I think AJ said something like "it was probably b/c an RE told them it was high and freaked them out" which was the case with me- twice. I appreciated that.
I personally didn't think it was thoughtful, even if it came from an "emotional place" Ha- the poster obviously didnt think it was thoughtful either, which is why she posted anonomously and as "feeling like a horrible person" (for the record whoever you are, I dont think youre a horrible person but- a little abrasive maybe
I think we are all emotional. That being said, I also think that sometimes we ought to step back and say "if I post this, am I going to hurt someone?" The poster offended a few others, not just me. I try to keep peoples feelings in mind before I post and I just felt the anonymous poster didn't. I understand the venting but again, they knew people would come here and read it.
Mrs. A- I can see your point where you thought maybe SMRC triggered my response because I posted after her, but It was not, at all. Girlscout honor, it was not why. Let me preface this by saying I'm tired, this has been a crazy week and I'm a little sensitive right now. Most likely you didnt mean it the way it sounded but I feel sort of like you think I'm uncaring by the way you wrote "do you know how many times she's done the drive, do you know how long she's been trying?"
I just wanted to share the perspective of someone whose FSH may not be through the roof, but was devastated nonetheless.
I'm still getting to know everyone here, as we all are, as everyone knows that its hard to keep up with everyone on the boards but I want to assure you, my reply wasn't because SMRC upset me. She didn't. SMRC had the decency to write her name and she admitted to being cranky and my heart goes out to her. I only did the drive once for the first time this week and it was long and we got lost coming home because it was 10pm and DH and I were exhausted. I can't IMAGINE how draining it must be to do that drive for years.
I was up in the air about responding to anonymous's post. SMRC wrote close to when I replied and I had already made up my mind to get it off my chest. I think I wrote a nice post, it was pretty simple explanation- I just wanted to share the perspective of someone whose FSH may not be through the roof, but was devastated nonetheless.
Everyone here is emotional. Everyone is tired, scared, fearful, one day maybe feeling great, the next day feeling hopeless. Everyone has been through alot. I've had 4 losses, I'm terrified some days of even trying to get PG again because I can't fathom going through another loss, another OB visit where the Drs face changes and I know, there is no more heartbeat. Sometimes I stop myself during the day and say "what are you doing, do you want to go through this again?"
The point of these boards, and thank god we have them, is so people can talk, learn, heal, vent, grieve, ask and feel safe. Not "my fhs is 50 and yours is only 13" that's just not necessary. That's all I was hoping to do here, never to offend. Everyone matters. That's all. Have a good night!