I am so grateful to have found this website and wish I had thought to utilize a forum like this sooner. In April of 2000, my then husband of 15 years molested our 10 year old daughter in our bedroom, in our bed. This event set off a chain of events that included his removal from the lives of both of my daughters and myself (I divorced him), years of therapy for the three of us, and an enormous effort to rebuild our lives. The girls and I remained in the home, and I bought my ex husband out of his share of the house. We have remodeled the home from top to bottom, have had a countless amount of loving people in our home throughout the years, and really tried to make our house a home. Before I share my personal dilemma, I want to say that my two daughters both feel very comfortable in our house and do not relate their father to the house. I am the one with the problem. I finally have reached a place where I do not think of him in the bulk of the house; however, I am haunted by the fact that my daughter was molested in the room I sleep in, the room that I should have sanctuary in, the room that I should be resting in. Instead I feel uncomfortable on a daily basis, and have for nine years. I cannot shake the ill feeling I have and think that I may need to leave this house to have peace. I am hoping that someone out there, possibly who has experienced a similar situation, can please share with me how they have coped with their experience. I have already re-painted, put in new carpeting,and purchased new furniture. I even burned sage to cleanse the room. These changes have brought me no long term comfort. The physical changes have not covered up what happened. Am I actually hurting my daughter by keeping the house, even though she says she loves the house? I am not emotionally attached to the house, but both my girls are. Have any of you out there been through this too? I have dealt with this topic in therapy, but I have never, ever talked about this with a fellow parent of a sexually abused child. I hope someone out there can advise me. Thank you in advance.
Posted on Jul 1, 2009, 2:56 AM from IP address 75.33.196.193
