First, we are so sorry you had reason to find this group, but we are very glad you are here.
The best advice I think you could get, is to arm yourself for the fight ahead of you. Every bit of documentation you can get your hands on -- all the police reports, CPS reports, letters, doctor/therapist bills, everything you can: organize it, and re-read it repeatedly. If you don't have a lawyer (and actually, even if you DID have a lawyer), you want to be your own best advocate, which means knowing the details of everything that has happened better than anyone else.
The one best advantage you have here is that you care about this case more than anyone else does -- and this includes the perp and the perp's lawyer. They just want this to go away -- you are driven to make this stick. Just need to put that into action. Learn the process involved in administrative appeals / expungement -- spend some time at the local law school library, reading the state statutes on child abuse and CPS. Most perps are NOT smart enough to get a lawyer who is well versed in these processes, so it may not be as hard as you think to catch up.
Appearances do matter -- whenever you go to meet with anyone, you want to look as "put together" as you can. Bring all the documentation with you to each meeting, in clearly-labeled file folders, organized in a way that you can easily find the answer to any question that could be asked. Anticipate their questions. You know the strong and the weak points of what you are trying to convey to them... you just need to be able to "package" that, to articulate it in front of whomever.
You have a GREAT resource in the caseworker(s) who investigated the case, and found there was abuse. Have you met with them before? If you have a good relationship with the caseworker, it is worth a try to see if they will meet with you now to review the case, the evidence, and the process for admin review/expungement. Even if you DON'T have a good relationship! They may not be willing to meet with you... but they may at least be willing to have a phone conversation with you. People are SO MUCH more willing to help someone they know/have talked with... it can at the least make them more willing to help you, even on an unconscious level they're not aware of, IF they know that there's a mom who cares enough about her kid to call them, leave emails/voicemails until the overworked caseworkers can respond... these things add up.
I'm pretty sure I ended up rambling there. So, sorry for that. My point is that I hope you stay engaged in the process, because that can help you greatly... think "proactive" not "reactive." The system can be a horrible beast but it is still staffed by human beings, and your best chance here is to make it an EASY CHOICE for those human beings to side with you & your child.
take care,
b
Posted on Jul 1, 2009, 10:12 PM from IP address 174.100.166.206
