Ann, of course you feel worn out - being strong takes it's toll, and keeping it all quiet takes an even bigger one, I think. I went through a time when my mother and my young brother in law both died of cancer. It was easily two years before I felt anything like myself again. I think all of us in the CSA sphere are changed, and maybe you never will be exactly like you were before. But I think you can reclaim yourself eventually. I think that the process of reclaiming will take work, too, and now you don't have the strength for it.
Have you tried any of those guided imagery/meditation CDs? I think that like therapists, you may have to go through a bunch before you find one that's right for you!
I'm glad to hear you're taking off! Teaching is a performance, and letting yourself relax and not have to be smiling every day is great. Your kids are doing well, so maybe you will have time to nurture yourself this year.
E-mail me if you feel like venting!
{{{Hugs}}}
CG
Posted on Jul 23, 2009, 10:57 PM from IP address 68.252.95.195
